Was it Planned Questions??

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
3633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

No one asked me but it’s definitely a rude question. I probably would respond back with, “Yes and does it matter?” because I’m genuinely curious as to why they would even bother asking that.

That said, one of our friends whose coworker works in the same field as DH (and as such, they know each other and are colleagues) said that when this person found out we were expecting said, “Wow, they wasted no time, did they?” to which our friend responded, “They’ve only been together for, oh, 8 years!”

 

Post # 4
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I was asked once by a coworker and was so shocked by the question I didn’t really realize how rude it was until afterwards. I just said “yes, it was.”

I have no idea how I would answer differently but I like that you’re preparing an answer.

Post # 5
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

I got this a few times at work when people started finding out I was pregnant (I’m assuming since we’re not married). They would ask if it was planned. They were almost afraid to congratulate me until I confirmed that I was happy about it. Really? 

Because of my position at work, I couldn’t really snap at any of them. I just smiled and said “yeah, we’re really excited” and cursed them under my breath. 

Post # 6
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am sure it will come up for us (my mom did ask), and I am just going to say yes. It is a rude questions, but I don’t think people realize how rude until they sit down and think about it some. There are just a special set of questions that come blurting out that everyone thinks are normal questions and while they are, they are annoying. I’d cut people some slack for that and just answer honestly.

Post # 7
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have yet to be asked this question, but then again, we haven’t told anyone. I imagine I would respond with something equally rude and somewhat shocking answer like “Well we did it like rabbits everyday without using protection and then proceeded to yell at the sperm to swim swim swim! So yea, I guess you could say it was planned” 🙂

…but thats just me. Or I’d just say yes, it was planned. I guess it depends on how grumpy I will be at the time.

Post # 8
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

People definitely asked this question and I always answered “NOPE, we didn’t even have sex!” with a big smile. They quickly realized what a stupid and rude question it was and apologized. 

Post # 9
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@iarebridezilla:  Haha I love it! I am definitely going to use that if anyone asks me. 

Post # 10
Member
1847 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@cora_123:  I think you should say “No, we didn’t even try! DH just slipped and fell on me and… well.. you know….” and then wink and nudge their arm…

ETA: I feel like this is in the same boat with people asking “So when are you going to have kids/when are you going to try to get pregnant?” to which I will say “You mean when are we going to start having unprotected sex??”

Post # 11
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@cora_123:  We just had our third and our daughters are 4 and 5.  A lot of people asked if it was an accident, I guess because of the gap?  What they didn’t know was that we had been trying for nearly a year and a half.  People can be incredibly rude and when it comes to pregnancy and children, it seems like EVERYONE thinks they have a right to comment.

I usually just replied with a shocked “Wow, I can’t believe you’d say something so horrible”… that usually made them feel at least flustered enough for me to walk away.

Post # 12
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@iarebridezilla:  HA I’m going to use that if I get it (when I’m pregnant that is) I”m the mother f*ckin virgin mary! What do you think!

Post # 13
Member
867 posts
Busy bee

@cora_123:  “yes! was yours?”

Haha yes that would be a really rude question to be asked. When I got engaged years ago ( we split up since) I was asked “why?” By a coworker when I announced my engagement LOL! Anyway I would say something like “oh ,why are you so interested in that?” And make them feel akward right back. 

Post # 14
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsMath:  

@MsJ2theZ:  oh, don’t even get me started. I actually said the sentence “[husband] told me you couldn’t get pregnant from doing it in the shower but I guess he was wrong!” to someone. Granted, it was someone I knew well enough to say something like that to, but it was still pretty epic. And there’s always the old famous “[husband] said I wouldn’t get pregnant from doing it up the butt!” 

Stupid questions get stupid answers, as Grumpy Grampa always said 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wasnt asked if it was planned but several people have said, I didnt know you were trying? haha I guess it just depends on my relationship with the person asking. If it was someone I wasnt close with I might be put off. 

Post # 16
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Narrawallee reserve/beach & Mollymook golf club

I got the same question from a couple of people. We’ve been engaged for 3 years now and our closest friends and family knew we’d been struggling with fertility issues. Their opinions were all that really mattered to us.

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