Was my boyfriend a jerk or am I just expecting too much?

posted 3 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

He sounds very immature to me and no where near ready for a life long comitment. I think you’re better off without him.

Post # 4
1287 posts
Bumble bee

I see red flags all over the place with this guy.  For starters…he can’t be trusted with the way he contacts girls. Secondly, he sounds like he was using you for money. Thirdly, in a relationship, a man doesn’t ignore you and talk to you when it’s convienient for him.  Drop his ass and move on. You deserve better and deserve to be treated with a little more respect.   

Post # 5
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@jubial:  You weren’t stupid. It is hard to be objective when you’re in the middle of a situation. It doesn’t sound like he was treating you very well, but you got yourself out of the relationship. I think that was a smart choice. 

Post # 6
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I personally believe every story has two sides, but, a big but, I would have never tolerated not even half of that, just the sexting thing alone and I would have been done, in my opinion that is cheating (I know for others it isn’t) and I personally wouldn’t have bothered making him block them, ’cause THEY weren’t the issue (as was proven later on).  I’m sorry this ended this way, and I’m sure it is hard for both of you in different ways, but clearly it isn’t working and there is no point in placing blame, it is just time to close this chapter and move on.

Post # 7
151 posts
Blushing bee

@jubial:  We all accept shitty treatment from shitty boyfriends along the line.  They take advantage of our forgiveness, hope, and optimism. The important thing though is NOT to look back and judge your “stupidity” but to examine with open eyes why it happened- his part and yours, and use the info to create a healthier happier future. Its all a neccesary part of the learning curve that leads us to marriage. Be thankful for the experience because you learned x, y, z (sometimes its nice to even write it all out).  ***Dont beat yourself up***


sorry youre dealing with this! Cheers to the future 🙂


Post # 8
114 posts
Blushing bee

I agree with the others, it’s better to have this immature, self-centered man out of your life! It may have been good at the start but it sounds like he’s lost focus on you and your relationship and now is the time to move on! Good luck, you’ll find something better! 

Post # 9
6166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i didn’t finish reading and already saw a bunch of red flags.  you are better or without him.

what i learned from my dating experience is when a guy likes you, you will know.  there is no guessing, there is no wondering if he will call, when he call, etc.

you will find someone who respects you and doesn’t sext other women while being committed to you.

Post # 10
873 posts
Busy bee

Oh my goodness, you should have broke up with this guy long ago. you were absolutely in the right to end things. he is a loser

Post # 11
6953 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@jubial:  I’m sorry. It sounds to me like he checked out if this relationship a long time ago. He didn’t want to be he one to break up with you so he just started doing whatever he wanted and let you break up with him. It’s pretty common behavior for immature people and seems to match his personality. I mean, what adult gets kicked out of school for playing video games? Especially when going to school provides their only income! Ridiculous. 


I know it must feel awful to have put so much effort into this relationship just to have it end but you are honestly much better off. 


Post # 12
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

This guy is not worth your time. You did the right thing,

Post # 13
641 posts
Busy bee

You’re better off without him! He sounds like a schmuck.

Post # 14
8388 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

He’s definitely the jerk.  I’d compare him to a gangrenous limb, better to cut it off and keep the rest of you healthy.

Post # 15
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

He sounds like a real loser. You are much better off without him. All of your complaints were valid and you put up with him much longer than he deserved. 

Post # 16
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@jubial: We all make stupid decisions when it comes to love! The important thing is you have seen him for what he is and have taken steps to move on.  Now you can find a great guy who will treat you the way you deserve, which is a hell of a lot better then your ex did.

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