Post # 1
Okay Bees! I need some advice. I am a new bee. SO and I have been together for 3 ½ years. I have been ready to get married the last 2 years. He said he knew he wanted to marry me after a year of dating. This past year I have felt like he keeps delaying the proposal. We had talked about getting married but he kept saying he needed to ask my dad for permission and it would be during the winter. Winter and Summer came with no proposal. I know he asked my dad recently and said it would be toward the end of summer. Then he said the ring was special made so it would take 3 to 6 weeks. We are going on a trip in October, so I really got excited thinking that would be the time! He just told me that the ring got messed up and now I would have to wait until the end of October. I feel so frustrated, because I feel like I have been waiting a long time. Every time I bring it up, he tells me 3 ½ years is not a long time and that I need to be patient. It is hard to hear this for over a year. I just get really excited thinking about it finally marrying him. It is so hard to be patient. How do I quit getting my hopes up? I really don’t want him to delay it again, he keeps telling me he is waiting for the right time. I don’t understand how they could have messed up the ring. I really thought it was going to be on our trip.
Post # 2
you know he’s got a ring and he asked your dad 🙂 calm down, you’re practically engaged and there’s nothing to worry about (honestly I’d secretly start planning color schemes and looking at dresses now haha)
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
He could just be telling you that to throw you off!
Post # 4
JosieeBee: I went through the same thing… We dated 5 years before getting engaged 3 weeks ago. Towards the end I had some pretty teary nights and not alot of sleep and a lot of frustration. I feel your pain. I used to hide my meltdowns and keep a brave face in front of him and then one night he caught me mid-breakdown. Probably the best thing he could have seen. I was humiliated and he made me feel that way (which was clearly never his intention because he loves me). The man would die for me – he tells me so all the time (he also served our country for 10 years) so why was it so hard for him to want to marry me? I even told him he could tie a string around my finger and I would be ok!!!
It never occured to him how big of a deal it was to me, even with our “talks”. It never clicked until he found out I cried like that almost every week because I was convinced there was something wrong with me and thats why he didn’t want to marry me.
The next weekend he took me ring shopping and we bought my dream ring. Now I’d be lying if i said life all rainbows and butterflies after because it wasn’t. He still made me wait 3 freakin weeks which damn near killed me but I realized he was worth the wait (and so was the ring!)
But maybe just maybe, don’t hold back next time. Let yourself cry, don’t stuff down your feelings. Women are stoic by nature, but also to a fault.
Sorry for the long novel – big hugs!! And please keep us updated!!
Post # 5
I wouldn’t worry about it…It should be soon since he is trying to get a ring.
Post # 6
Agreed. It’ll be soon, and as one of the earlier posters said, it sounds as if he might be trying to throw you off his scent. My SO keeps telling me it’ll be at Xmas, talks about the “big gift” he’s got for me, about how we’ll announce our engagement at Xmas dinner… Yet I’m nearly 100% sure it’s happening next month, and he’s trying to trick me.
Post # 7
Thank you so much for the encouragement! It really means a whole lot! I know he wants it to be surprise and I don’t want to take that away from him. But I really hope hope hope you are right and he is just trying to throw me off his scent. That would be sooo amazing! Also, thanks for the personal stories. I feel like sometimes I am driving him crazy with questions but I just want it to happen.
Post # 8
JosieeBee: My boyfriend and I had a discussion about something similar. He said he always viewed the wedding as the brides and the proposal is for the groom. if you keep asking questions you will spoil his fun, Guys get a kick out of making their girls happy and I think there is something extra speacial about planning a proposa for theml. I know you want to look at dresses and color schemes but he wants to figue out the perfect proposal.
Post # 9
I was in the same boat. We’ve been together for almost 5 years. He was suppose to get my ring while I was studing abroad. Something happened and we had to redesign it when I got back to the States. We were also going to Hawaii on Aug 10 and I knew he would do it there. He paid for my ring July 1 and it was suppose to take 3-4 weeks, so it was suppose to be complete no later than July 29. On Aug 4, we found out my ring hadn’t even been STARTED yet… So they were officially suppose to start it Aug 5… we got engaged Aug 15 while in Hawaii and he proposed with a stand in. Today is Oct 1, 3 months since he put down the deposit, and I STILL do not have my ring…
Although we are already engaged and he’s proposed, he is still planning on doing something special for my ring. I’m pretty sure it’s ready. He really enjoys torturing me with it and he is loving having the ball in his court on this. He says everytime I bring it up that adds another week to me not getting it. I’m trying to not bring it up but it’s hard… Also, I bought my dress in April and we’ve had our wedding planned since last August.
You know it’s coming, just try to be patient.
Post # 10
JosieeBee: I agree with him throwing you off. My FI apologized a few times for not being able to afford a ring, and having to wait until after Xmas. He got me good though, he proposed at the beginning of last Sept. He even kept up the ruse right until I opened the box, saying, “I couldn’t afford a ring, but I got you something beautiful instead.” When I opened the box it took a few seconds to sink in that it was, indeed, a beautiful engagement ring. 🙂
You never know, some guys like to really surprise their girls.
Post # 11
ksn1219: That would be so stressful to still not have your ring! Good for him for going for it and proposing in Hawaii. That is so special!!! 🙂 My boyfriend did something similar about everytime I brought it up he was going to push back the date. lol. So frustrating!!
MrsBagel: Wow! He definitely went for the surprise factor! I love it! I love surprises, but I am not the most patient person.