Many societies it is customary to get married younger and have children younger, but from what you wrote, I cannot tell if you are talking about being young single parents or just young parents.
@tksjewelry: either really. Any persons having kids while in highschool and the families that ebrace that as part of their culture.
I'd be bothered to hear its "part of mexican cultre" too. Just because its common/acceptable does not mean its cultural. Once upon a time girls married young almost across the board but life expectancy was lower too. Things change. I have several mexican friends that would likely find that comment insulting.
I work in a part of Philadelphia where girls feel if they arent pregnant ( not married just pregnant) by 18 they are old maids. I recently calculated my 18 year office assistant has a mother who is 18 years older than her, and her Grandmother is 20 years older than her mother. At that rate you could be a great great grandmother by 70.
I come from a small town where girls pregnant in high school is no big deal. I, personally, didn't want that for myself and don't understand how either they or their parents can be okay with that situation but it's not my life so whatever works for them!
I'm a little south of Mexico, in Central America. In the particular area where I live, lots of girls get pregnant in high school (13-18 years old). FI said at least one in his class each year that he was in HS. It's still not considered ideal, and it definitely makes life harder. I don't think it's something anyone strives to keep as a cultural tradition... its more a lack of education/preparedness/communication with these girls. I can't speak for girls in Mexico, or anyone else for that matter... but unless they're being courted at 13 and married at 14, I doubt a baby at 15 is in most people's plans.
I live in an area of Illinois that is heavily populated by Mexican families and has been since the late 1800's. My SO's family is from Mexico and he grew up here. I know my SO would agree that the "babies having babies" phenomenon of girls having kids in their teens is somewhat particular to lower income areas in Mexican culture where people are less educated.
A lot of it has to do with lack of contraception education and availability due to extremely religious families. And then, over time, it just becomes normal in these communities. Also, Mexican culture is very family oriented. Babies are considered blessings, pretty much no matter what.
We're moving away from this area because we don't want our future kids to think any of this is healthy or normal. The high schools are full of pregnant girls that are not taught there's anything wrong with it because their mothers and grandmothers did the same thing. Kids are impressionable. I would hate for any of my future kids to think of this as normal or an option.
The short answer is that sometimes "a cultural thing" isn't always a good thing.
@RedAngelDreamer: agree! My Mexican grandmother got married at 14 and had 15 kids. I'm glad that tradition is less common now and sad that it occurs at all. She didn't have an education beyond the 3rd grade and she had a very hard life.
@RedAngelDreamer: This almost exactly except I'm the Mexican one in the relationship. I couldn't explain it any better than this.
@retreadbride: I live outside of philadelphia and i've been around individuals with the same mentality. For some reason, there's a big rush to have children despite some women (or girls I should say) even being able to take care of them fully.
In my hometown, teenage pregnancy is fairly common, but more often than not it's, as lanalnoco said, a lack of education or preparedness. Stuff like that bothers me too. I'm not going to say that a teenage parent is automatically a shitty parent. I have several friends who became parents early and are doing an amazing job. But I definitely don't want to encourage it.
yes it's definetly the part where this cycle has continued for so many generations now that people are actually considering it "a culture thing" that bothers me.
Being a mexican myself, I can say that it is NOT a culture thing ... at least not where I'm from. I got pregnant at 18 and was so ashamed of myself, I hid it for weeks. I couldn't even bring myself to tell my mom. I felt I owed the world to her after she found out because I felt I had done something that shamed my entire family. To this day (it's been 11 years, I've gradutated from college, have a stable career, and my kid is a straight A student!) my extended family talks about how I was the first and only in the family to have done such a shameful thing. I don't think they'll ever get over it.
I don't get it either. The fact that many, many Mexican Americans are Catholic is what's so confusing - you don't allow contraception, but having babies unwed is okay??? I just DO NOT understand that thinking.
Ah, I'm mexican-american. I am also the oldest female of my generation of cousins to not have a kid. I'm 27. When I graduated high school my family was so proud of me, in part for not getting pregnant. People put out the catholic reason for why this doesn't make sense, but in reality it's because of the religious doctrine that Mexican/Mexican-american females are getting pregnant so young. They are either not educated at ALL on birth control because it is certainly not for the unwed. Or they are told that sex before marriage is a sin, so they get married way too young just to have sex.
I think the bride-to-be meant she knows it's common in their circles and she's not judging that. I don't think she necessarily thought it was an important part of the culture that should be preserved, she was just trying to stay neutral. If someone said this to me, I would view her favorably.
It's not that people shouldn't have informed opinions on things like this, but nobody has the time to make an informed opinion on everything, and when you don't, being neutral to something that's seen as a norm in another culture (rather than jumping to the conclusion that it must be bad because it's not the norm in your culture) is a fine way to go.
For the record I do generally think it's sad in our culture in the US, because there are opportunities, especially for education, that are valuable and the women here that get pregnant so young will be at high risk of missing out on. Where the people she's speaking of live, is it similar? Is it a significant health risk to get pregnant so young? etc. Since I don't know the risks for them, I don't have an informed opinion about it. I stay neutral.
ETA: Are the people that she's speaking of living in the US? If that's the case, I do find her statement a little off and can see where you're coming from.
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The statement was "heck, I have plenty of cousins who have babies at 15&16 years old, and I respect that because it's part of the mexican culture..." The rest was "but I have to draw the line about not having kids at my wedding." I don't know why this bothers me. Maybe because I don't understand some part of it. The how it's culture part. I really don't want to sound rude but considering that you can't finish your education in the U.S. until you graduate OR be married until your eighteen, I thought this was more of the unfortunate statistic category. I really respect the woman who said this, so why does it bother me that this came out of her mouth. Or am I just a jerk?!