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I'n glad we're doing it now. Granted, I'm almost 32 and he's 39 so I'm not sure waiting was an option for us :) But you'll never have everything 'just so' so I say don't wait!
I'm glad that we waited before trying. I really enjoyed the first two years of our marriage with just us. We went on vacation, hosted parties, and generally had a great time. I wanted to have some "salad" days before our life became about TTC/OPKs/POAS. TTC is tough especially on a young marriage. Despite our many years together, TTC has been one of the toughest points for us. It's difficult when one spouse frets and worries in hopes of a BFP while the other supports as they go through it. It's not easy when suddenly BD'ing takes on new importance and their new ways to go about it hopes of acheiving a pregnancy. I'm glad that we waited until we were married a bit and ready for the challenge of it. Waiting also makes us appreciate us and our union more. For us, waiting two years to TTC works. For others, maybe not. I don't think that our marriage would be as strong as it is now if we had kids right away. It would have been a lot more stressful and harder on us.
ETA: I'm 31 (32 in February) and my DH is 33.
I'm so glad we waited. Saving up extra money gave us the luxury of moving to a big house (without freaking out that we were spending $xx on a down payment, while we had a child or that we were spending $xx on new furniture, etc.) It also allowed us to save up money, so now that I am pregnant, we have a cushion in the bank and can afford to buy furniture, clothes, etc.
I also think that waiting helped us make our marriage even stronger. I thought it was pretty strong before, but it has grown even more. We are more mature and we are both ready to settle down. We also spent some time focusing on being child-free, and we went out a lot, traveled, etc.
In the end, it was the right decison for us.
we are not waiting - we are 23. I will have my MA in may, but I will be staying home. we rent (not rushing into buying a home) because it will allow me to stay home on one income. I'm so glad we're doing it now - one reason being that I don't want to get too deep into my career and not be able to stay home for a couple years, another reason that we've just always wanted to be young parents.
we have enough money to live comfortably - we aren't rich, but we're happy.
We will be waiting. I'm 27 and he'll be 34. We plan on waiting until I'm about 35. We might be a bit old... but the upside is we'll be more comfortable in careers, have little debt, and will feel as though we lived life through and through.
Our plan was to wait a year but found out we got pregnant exactly one month after the wedding. Though the point of us waiting was so we can enjoy our wedded bliss, we're happy we are where we are. We own our home and we're in our early 30s, so we're no longer spring chickens. I was worried we wouldn't be "ready" but I think we're up for the challenge.
Thanks ladies. We are def waiting at least eight or nine months after the wedding. So helpful to hear about everyone else's plans
@sorrycharlie: Agreed. I'm not ttcing, but buying a home and having the career isn't at the top of my priority list right now. Having a baby is more important especially since my fertility is on a short timeline.
I totally needed this thread. FI and I just had to have a tough conversation about putting off our original start date, but it really helps to hear that other people are glad they waited for the same reasons that we are going to have to.
We aren't married yet but plan on waiting. It's important to us to enjoy time as newlyweds and accomplish our schooling and begin careers before we go down that road...once you have kids you can't undo it!
my hubby and i will have been together 5 years in just a couple days and married for 8 months. weve been trying to conieve for 4 months now. and wishing we shouldve started sooner. i know 4 months is nothing but i honestly always expected it would be easy to get pregnant!
We waited for awhile because DH, then FI wasn't ready to TTC quite yet, although he's always wanted children. I was 33 when we got married and ready! All my friends suggested we try before the wedding, but we put it off until 1-month after we got married. We didn't even TTC during our honeymoon!
It took us 11 months before getting pregnant! We're both estatic, but knowing what we know now, I think hubby would have wanted to try earlier. There's still 9 months of prep that leads up to the baby coming and combined with the 11 months of actively TTC - it's more than enough time to feel "ready".
But I'm not complaining and I feel blessed to be expecting. But I have a feeling our next little one will be rushed - I originally wanted to wait before we try again, but I can't wait long. I'll be a couple months shy of 35 when our bundle of joy arrives ... time is not on my side.
Im 29 and have been with my DH for 12 years. We started dating in HS and moved in together about a year later. We were concerned with getting educated, starting careers and flipping homes far more than marriage. To us, it was just a piece of paper. Now that I'm married my view on the institution has changed, I love the committment and our bond and I'm so happy that we waited to have children together. We are in our 3rd and "forever" home and I will be able to stay home with our baby for at least a couple years - more if #2 comes quick.
We were married May 11, 2011 and I'm due June 1, 2012 so it didnt take us long at all considering we didnt chart or change much. In fact we were going to start actively trying around Christmas. I was so worried that we would have such a hard time and so concerned that it might just never happen for us. We are definitely blessed.
I can't really say I regret not waiting (because I have a beautiful little girl), but I have often said I wish we had been in a better place financially. I would have wanted to have a significant savings, no debt and some world travel under my belt before having kids.I know there is really no perfect time to have children, but there is something to be said for financial security. It can put a lot of strain on a marriage if you're worrying about bills and an infant! Been there, done that, don't ever want to be back there again.
But honestly, if you're willing to work hard, kids never stop you from achieving any of those goals. It just becomes more difficult.
This is such a helpful thread. We are waiting for financial / family illness reasons and I'm glad that others found it worked out better for them to wait.
We're definitely waiting even though I will be 29 when we marry and my fiance will be 30. We bought our forever home two years ago and we have great stable jobs, but neither of us wants to jump right in to TTC after we marry. We still want to enjoy the DINK lifestyle for a bit longer plus travel a bit more and just enjoy being married. I know everyone does things differently, but based on my fiance's brother's experience, I'd never want to get pregnant right after getting married. He and his wife married in May 2009, she got pregnant in September 2009, they had baby #1 in May 2010, and then she got pregnant with twins in February 2011. Their life is chaotic and stressful and it's definitely not how I would have chosen to start my married life.
If and when we decide to have kids, we'll be ore than ready for them financially and emotionally. I can't imagine having them any other way.
Getting a house was another reason we put off TTC - I think it was worth it.
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Hi Bees. I always read those "when do you know you are ready to start TTC," and "how much money do you need to TTC" threads. But for those of you who delayed by a few months or even a few years, do you regret waiting or feel like it really helped you be in a better place to raise a family?
I am torn between not wanting to rush things and get in over our heads, and knowing that we can't predict what will happen. We put off TTC when we were 26, and then the economy tanked. I almost feel like we would have been in a better position then, though the stress might have killed us, lol.
If you waited, are you glad you did and what did it help you do better?
If you didn't wait, do you wish you did?