Post # 1
Years ago, I was responsible for a now-married couple’s meeting. I knew the guy, and he’d found this girl on a dating site he thought was cute. Her account wasn’t active, but he was smitten. I took a look and knew exactly who she was, because we had gone to the same high school. I sent a Facebook message explaining what was going on, and shortly after they were an item. Some 6+ months later I broke up with the guy I was dating, who was friends with this guy as well. Months after that I learn via Facebook that they’re engaged. I saw the couple a few times after that, once for coffee, other times just around. I waited and waited for an invitation to the wedding, but never got one. I took this couple off my facebook after I saw that my ex was in the wedding photos.
Throughout their whole relationship, I played a critical role in the story of how they met. I’d heard its retelling numerous times, so clearly they were aware of my role.
Am I wrong in thinking that a courtesy invite should have been extended? I feel like the only reason I didn’t get invited was because my ex was there. But I just think that if you were introduced by someone, you should make that gesture of inviting them. I would. Am I completely unfounded in this?
Post # 2
were they closer to your ex? It would have been nice of them to extend you an invitation but they are not obligated to do so.
Post # 3
Yes, no one owes you an invitation to their wedding. You have no idea what their wedding budget was, or how many family members they had to invite. Get over it.
Post # 4
If you haven’t been involved in their lives for years, then I can understand why you weren’t invited. I can understand why you would want to go, but if you were only finding out about their engagement, wedding etc through Facebook… I would think that maybe you weren’t close enough to them to invite.
Post # 5
I don’t see why one should get an invite just because they happen to introduce the couple and then “see them a couple times” after they got engaged. It doesn’t really sound like you are that close to them.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
TheAnonyMouse: You went for coffee with them once, and saw them around town and that means you’re close enough to go to their wedding? Sorry, but you are not owed an invitation to any wedding – ever – except your own. While it’s lovely that you set them up, they may no longer feel close enough to you to warrant inviting you.
Post # 7
If you don’t see them on a regular basis, I doubt you would be close enough to make the cut for the invitation list.
Post # 8
TheAnonyMouse: Sorry, but no they don’t owe you an invite. Perhaps it was a small wedding and they could only invite closest friends. If the last person on the list was either you, or a closer friend, they were right to invite the closer friend.
It would be immature of them to not invite you because of your ex, but ultimately it is their decision.
Post # 9
TheAnonyMouse: Honestly, you weren’t best friends with these people. My friend is inviting the girl who introduced her to her now FI, but I was definitely surprised to hear she was invited. They haven’t seen or spoken to her in months! Maybe their budget did not allow it and even if it did, you aren’t close with them, so why would you expect to be invited. Introducing them was great for them, but they don’t owe you anything.
Post # 10
Post # 11
I don’t “do” obligation. It’s great that you introduced them and you should get warm fuzzy feelings that you were able to connect two people who fell so deeply in love, but I don’t think it’s right to expect someone to feel obligated to invite anyone regardless of the role they had in their relationship.
Post # 12
It was a large wedding. I had made attempts to hang out with the bride in the months preceding the wedding, and for a time they were very close to me.
While I don’t think it was required, it would have been a nice gesture. I got the impression the only reason I didn’t get invited was because my ex was there. And he hadn’t seen them for at least 9 months either.
Of course it’s all water under the bridge, but I’ve just always wondered about this situation.
Post # 13
So they chose your ex over you. That happens, unfortunately. I wouldn’t give it another thought.
Post # 14
Did you want to go because you were honestly good friends with them and wanted to witness their joyful union or did you want to go so you could get recognition for being the one who set them up?
Post # 15
TheAnonyMouse: but how often had you seen them or spent time with them pre-engagement?
It would be a nice gesture to invite all sorts of people to my wedding, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere.