- 3 years ago
I apologize in advance for the long post. I will try to shorten this story as much as possible.
Over the past year or so I have put on close to 40 pounds. I am 5’4 and 185 pounds. It has hit me hard physically and emotionally. The weight gain was a combo of quitting smoking (supplementing with food) and eating out more. I went to the doctor and had some tests done and I have really high cholesterol. My FI is very fit and goes to the gym 4+ times per week. I try to go with him as much as possible and have been going 2-3 times per week. I do cardio and he does weights. Over the past few months I have cleaned up my eating habits but I can’t seem to drop any weight.
This past weekend I was at my best friends wedding. Many of the people at the wedding I had not seen in around 2 years. At the rehersal dinner I went to chat with the grooms father who I have known for 7 years. As soon as I walked up to him he said “Oh my! I didn’t even recognize you. You are so fat and gross. Look at you. What happened?” I immediately got choked up and my feelings were BEYOND hurt. I wanted to punch him in the face! But I put on my happy face and explained to him what I told you all above. He then said to me “No, your a liar. You are just lazy. You need to loose weight, you look horrible”. I ended the conversation as soon as possible and went and got my FI. We went to the dock and I told him what was said. He comforted me and told me what an a**hole he is and not to worry about what other people think. I tried to get over it, but I can’t, it really gave me a complex. My insecurities skyrocketed and all I can think about is how fat I am. I feel horrible because I was not able to get up and say my speech at the wedding (that I worked on for months) and felt so uncomfortable that I left the wedding at 11:30. It’s been a week and all I eat is salads and nuts.
I am buying my wedding dress at the end of October and I REALLY want to drop some pounds beforehand. I want to loose 40-50 pounds by my wedding in August 2015.
Any bees out there have advice on healthy meal ideas, work out ideas, anything? I am desperate.
My feelings are so hurt and I feel so sad. I hate the way I look and really need to make a lifestyle change – not only for me, but for my FI. He deserves the best and I want to be at my best for him.