Was told that I am fat and gross….. :(

posted 2 years ago in Fitness
Post # 2
4140 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow. I’m really sorry some ignorant ass said that to you. I’ve had people say some pretty nasty things about my weight and tell my that thyroid disease is just an excuse. Weight we can lose, stupidity and rudeness is forever.  my fitness pal is the only thing that ever worked for me. 

Post # 3
6445 posts
Bee Keeper

FutureMrsW2015:  Are you serious?? That guy is a total asshole. I’m so sorry, that was so unbelievably rude and uncalled for. 5’4″ and 185 is far from “fat and gross.”

I wish you the best of luck trying to lose the weight if it’s what you really want to do to feel happier and healthier, but please please do your best to just forget about what this asshole said. 

Total douchebag.

Post # 4
177 posts
Blushing bee

First of all, what an asshole. I would not have been able to hold back punching him.  I’m sorry he said that to you. It’s beyond rude and he should be embarrassed of his behavior and inablity to keep his mouth shut.

Second, if you aren’t happy with what you look like then I would suggest changing a few things. I have found that personally weight lifting helps burn pounds a lot quicker than cardio does. When I lost 40 lbs off of my 5 foot 6 160 lb frame I did it with more weight lifting, less cardio and a TON of protein. Good luck!

Post # 5
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

Do weights with your FI too! All cardio isn’t the ticket to weight loss. Light weights with more reps is good for building lean muscle. Do you use any kind of calorie counting app? I like LoseIt and my mom likes SparkPeople. just to help keep you on track with the diet. Make sure you’re drinking enough water! 

Post # 6
42182 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

FutureMrsW2015:  What a rude pig that guy is! He had no right to say anything like that to anyone.

If you are not happy with your weight, I suggest you join Weight Watchers. Many of us think we are eating healthy but the reality is our portions are too large, or we are eating the wrong foods or both.Otherwise with a moderate amount of daily exercise, for most people the weight would come off.

I lost 110 lbs a few years ago with WW and have kept it off. It’s not a diet. It’s a lifestyle change. If you look upon weight loss as a diet, something you have to do once and get through it, you are doomed to regain the weight. You need a caombination of cardio and weight bearing exercise, so make sure you at least get out for a walk on your non-gym days, or do something physical that you find fun, like swimming, playing tennis, etc.

Post # 7
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

FutureMrsW2015:  Your FI is right. That guy was an asshole. HE is the one that is insecure if he has to go around saying stupid shit like that. What an idiot. I’m so sorry he said that to you.

But that is more of a reflection of what kind of person HE is. Not the kind of person you are. To become healthier and lose weight I am on My Fitness Pal and love it. I count calories and exercise several times a week. You want to make sure you’re eating enough, but eating the right foods. If you decide to do My Fitness Pal, they usually give you 1200 calories to work with which, IMO, is way too few. There is a lot to learn on there about nutrition, bt the main reason I stick with it is because it is like a community of people that have the same struggles. It’s kind of like Facebook for weight loss. I have friends that support me and I support them. If you do decide to join I am Megz2006, and you can add me as a friend.

It’s a great way to hold yourself accountable for what you put into your mouth. Also, no matter what try not to focus on the scale. Make sure to go by how you feel and also measurements. I find it is much more accurate.

Good luck, and you can do this! You’re a strong woman, and don’t let anyone bring you down!


Post # 8
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

FutureMrsW2015:  That was the most disgusting thing to say to a person. I am so sorry that happened to you. I’m glad that you want to make a lifestyle change for YOU, because that is how you will succeed. Your FI loves you the way you are, but YOU need to be happy with yourself.

Even though you have not seen any weight loss yet…keep going! Keep eating healthy (chicken, veggies, fish, salads, protein shakes, breakfast!) and continue going to the gym. Maybe you will find a program that you really enjoy…WeightWatchers? Tone It Up? Zumba classes? Personal Trainer at your gym? Ask your FI to help you at the gym too! Find an app on your phone to track calories or workouts. Take a walk every night after work? I have found several great workouts and healthy recipes on Pinterest too!

WB will be a great resource too for motivation.

Post # 9
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

FutureMrsW2015:  I have to ask, was this “friend” of yours a gay guy??  (DISCLAIMER: I’M NOT GENERALIZING GAY PEOPLE)  My best friend is mouthy like that and doesn’t always realize he can’t get away with saying things to others like he says to me…

i.e. I sent him a pic of me in my gown and he texts back, “Fat, fat, water rat, 50 bullets in your hat!” (It’s from Golden Girls.)

HOWEVER…that is an absolutely shitty thing to say to a person you haven’t seen in a while.  It’s downright appalling.

My only advice is PLEASE don’t buy a dress based on the body you want, you MUST buy a gown for the body you have.  Not to mention, you will be amazed at what there is out there for you.  I have a large lower half and a flat chest *womp, womp* and was so worried about shopping – my dress looks phenomenal on me.  Designers are atune to women of all shapes and sizes – DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOP!!

Now for how to combat your issue – find a workout you and enjoy and stick with it.  My fiance does crossfit?  It makes me cringe.  Another friend is a P90X freak?  No thanks.  I do Zumba and Les Mills workouts at my gym and I LOVE IT.  It works for me and I look forward to it.  That’s the key to working out effectively – you HAVE TO enjoy it.  

Change 1 meal a day.  Obviously, I don’t know your eating habits but I commited myself to a vegetable and protein for lunch (i.e. grilled chicken salads for LIFE!) so that I could have pasta or a piece of bread with dinner.  

And finally, check out http://www.myfitnesspal.com.   It helped me lost 30 lbs some years ago quite quickly.  If nothing else, you learn WHAT is exactly in what you’re eating.  Sure your salad is just lettuce, tomatoes, cukes and some kidney beans but the dressing is like 300 cals??  WTF!!  It’s a black and white accountability tracker for me.  I learned SO MUCH and treated my daily caloric intake like a bank account lol.  I highly recommend it!!!  

Post # 10
11634 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you haven’t been able to lose weight by what you’re doing, I have a few suggestions:

– Add strength training in your workout.  You need to do that to build muscle, and muscle more efficiently burns fat. 

– See a nutritionist or dietician to work out a diet plan.  You may have an underlying medical condition that’s keeping you from dropping weight (thyroid issues, PCOS, etc)

– Have active dates with your FI.  Hiking, rock climbing, tennis, etc — find something fun to do together that also encourages fitness.

– Count calories.  Eat good foods — high protein, high fiber will keep you fuller longer. 

Good luck!

Post # 11
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

FutureMrsW2015:  OK, FIRST, that asshat is WAY OUT OF LINE.  I am certain he is an underwear model for Calvin Klein, and is absolutely able to make such grotesque remarks to those that are not?!?!  Oh wait, probably not.  NOT that it is your bf’s problem or hers to fix, but I would find a way to tell her the story, in the event, she or husband want to put him in his place.  Someone should.

Second, I am sorry, incredibly sorry, that you had to hear such hateful things.  I am glad your FI, whom LOVES you told you how awesome you are, and how disgusting that man was.

Third, if you WANT (and NOT BECAUSE you feel you have too, or because someone told you you should) to get healthy, or feel better, then my personal recommendation (and what has worked well) is Weight Watchers.   An ‘easy’ system that teaches you portion control, but does not dictate what you can and cannot eat (because then life gets boring, in my honest opinion).  You get X points per day, and as long as you honestly document everything you ingest, and should see progress.  Even better, you get added points per day for working out, which makes working out something you want to do…so that you can eat the small blizzard from DQ for dessert 🙂

This will take time, as it should.  Weight loss is a process, definitely.  Do NOT be scared to try on dresses, or buy something soon.  If you plan to be a certain weight down the road, ask the consultant if a dress can be altered to accommodate weight loss, and if so, how much??!  Please, do not buy a size you envision being.  You will put too much pressure on yourself!!

And lastly, remember, you are beautiful, and loved, and no matter size or shape will be the MOST gorgeous bride that day.  No ONE, not a single sole should ever infringe on that, or make you feel like you are scum.  Ugh, people ARE SO STUPID!!!  

(FWIW, I am in the ‘best’ shape of my life – and I am not teeny tiny, nor will i ever be. Someone asked me if I am expecting a child, WHICH I am not.  For the first time, ever, I was able to laugh it off, and not hinder on the fact that someone out there thought otherwise.  I think because I feel pretty good about myself, even if I will only ever be ‘average!’)

I wish you all the best….and again, am so sorry you had to hear it.

Post # 12
49 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014

Sorry be was such a jerk  face.  Hugs.  I did weight  watchers abs it helped  me tremendously. Remember to be kind to yourself abs don’t expect perfection.  

Post # 13
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery

FutureMrsW2015:  wow, people can be idiots! I’m sorry that you had to deal with such an asshole. I’m Not an expert on weight loss but I can tell you what worked for me. I lost 40 lbs. I went from a size 24 to an 18. I stopped pasta. Only drank beverages with no sugar not even fake sugar. I drank a lot of water, lemon water, and unsweetened iced tea. I ate carb free as much as I could. I ate a lot of lettuce wraps and made a salad out of everything. I cut down on eating ranch dressing(I love ranch!). I found some good music and did a lot of walking! I have been able to maintain that weight loss for about 4 years now. It’s hard but you truly have to look at this like a lifestyle change and not a diet. Good luck to you!

Post # 14
602 posts
Busy bee

What a mother fucker. It doesn’t matter how much weight someone may have gained, it is NEVER appropriate to say the things that that man said to you. I would not have been able to stay as composed as you were. In fact, father of the groom would have attended his sons wedding with a black eye and one ball short of a full set. 

Post # 15
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

What a jerk that guy that wasis! Remember, ” fat and gross” can be worked on, but stupid is forever!

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