Post # 1
Hi Bees – When my fiance and I got engaged, we were considering either an intimate, 25 guest ”all-inclusive” package in the Napa Valley (our spot) or having a wedding in our city with around 75-100 guests. Due to the simplicty and cost for our guests we ultimately chose the wedding in our city, but now that the stress of planning is in full force I have to ask – is having a wedding even worth it? I’m often looking back with regret wondering if having a smaller wedding that would have been planned by someone else is something that would have better suited us. Or maybe having a wedding is just stressful in itself, regardless of where it is and how many guests attend?<br /><br />I guess my question is – are weddings worth it?<br /><br />
Post # 2
Good question… I have been asking myself this during wedding planning as well. Cant wait to see the poll results. I hope it is worth it in the end…
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard
yes, to a point.* I hate planning parties and was never an OMG WEDDINGZZ type of girl. when I got engaged, I wanted to have a budget backyard wedding. my SO was like, nope. (his family is fancier than mine and the pressure was on.) we were very fortunate that we could throw money at the problem (we’re DINKS), so that helped a lot. I know that not everybody can be so lucky. but here’s the thing: we hired a partial planner, and she practically paid for herself by getting us big discounts and keeping us within our budget. SO worth it if you can swing it.
but I had a full time job back then so even partial planning was stressful. however, in the end I friggin’ LOVED my wedding and I regret nothing!
sometimes I don’t want to do a thing because the prep work and planning seem like too much (like going camping). but I’m always glad I did it. I will never regret forcing myself to do inconvenient things for the experience of it. the same goes for not cheaping out on certain things if you can help it. life is short, live a little!
(*caveat: I don’t think giant, extravagant weddings are worth it.)
Post # 4
Bchicagos: I’m in the middle of planning my intimate 50 person destination wedding in Riverside, California and I have to say, it will NEVER be easy.
Couples with 150+ guests or couples with 25 guests will all have to plan something and at some point, no matter how many people you’re inviting, it will get somewhat stressful.
But don’t focus on the tasks. Focus on the BIG PICTURE. As a previous trade show planner, you NEED to focus only on the big picture and how everything will turn out as a whole. There will be smaller tasks, but in the long term, they are just a small detail of the big picture. Don’t stress. Just remember what really matters. 🙂
Post # 5
Yes, but only because we didn’t pay for it. When we first got engaged we announced we wanted a small immediate family only wedding and that was slammed down by our parents, who then offered to pay for the larger affair. It was wonderful, but it wasn’t for us at all it was for them.
Post # 6
I don’t think there was a ton of stress. Parts of it were, but most of the planning was just fun for me. Even if it had been hell to plan though… it was the BEST day ever. I had more fun than I’ve ever had in my life, all put together. It was awesome!
Post # 7
I’m not married yet, but as I have been planning I’ve asked myself the same. In fact, the more I think about it, the more weddings have become:
A) a competition between brides to have the most “blogworthy” wedding
B) an event mainly for the guests
Luckily, we’re not paying for the majority of it, but when your parents start wanting to make your wedding into a family reunion is when you realize your wedding is becoming more for the guests. Man, if we had eloped we could have taken a chunk of money and put it in our savings for a house downpayment.
Working a full-time job and trying to plan a, what I would call, fairly small wedding has still been big ball of stress. I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t put strain on our relationship. In the end, we just want to be married and go on the honeymoon.
Post # 8
I do think that once the planning was done, the wedding itself was worth the stress. But also, I wish that it could have been completely stress-free with a more intimate wedding, destinaton style. However, that wasn’t possible and we had small-ish wedding (75 people). It was very stressful but we did have a beautiful wedding and we were married in the end so that is all that matters even though it didn’t exactly go as planned.
Post # 9
My wedding wasn’t super stressful, so it was definitely worth it. If it was overwhelmingly stressful I would’ve probably just eloped.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Mine was 100% worth the stress. However, I think it comes down to what KIND of stress it is….
For us, our families are totally supportive and chill and did not put any crazy expectations/drama on us. The stress was mainly just dealing with coordinating all the logistics of a DIY-heavy venue and wedding, and planning 3 days of events for 165 people. The planning was busy and hard, but not unpleasant or dramatic. And the wedding weekend was everything we could have dreamed of, just so very joyful and wonderful to be surrounded by all our favorite people.
When you have to start dealing with family drama, it quickly becomes less worth it though.
Post # 11
Totally worth it. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. In fact I may even be one of those people that does a vow renewal in a decade or so. That being said, I made a concious effort not to let wedding planning become super stressful and awful. My wedding motto was “Care Less”. Because most of the things we stress about simply aren’t that important. So I tried to really prioritize and let the things that did not matter truly slide. We had a casual, backyard wedding for 150 and it was about the most fun I’ve ever had. It’s the only time in my life I’ve been surrounded by so many of my friends and family. We prayed and partied and generally had a blast. I also had a DOC that was worth her weight in gold. She totally enabled me to turn everything over and not stress about a thing on the day of the wedding. Best money we spent!
Post # 12
for me absolutely but I do know that it isn’t for everyone. I wouldn’t say that I had a ton of stress but there were definitey a few “what are you thinking? ” moments where I was just like WHY are you telling me this right now? or when I wished that I lived a few hours closer to my venue and could just run over there or something like that
If you are the type of person who is overwelmed with crowds or have a serious family drama (and know people won’t behave) or have to go into debt which will last a long time then it might not be for you though
Post # 13
I realized it wasn’t worth all of the stress. It didn’t even go as well as I was hoping. If I had the chance to do it again, I wouldn’t. I had all of my friends there but the DJ didn’t play the songs that I wanted him to play. The lights wouldn’t come back on during the cake cutting so no one could see it. Half of the RSVPs didn’t show up. I would say everything BUT the reception was awesome. If I had known all the preparations for the reception were going to nothing, I probably wouldn’t have stressed so hard about it.
That’s just my two cents.