Way TMI, but I need advice!

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

hushbee:  How was your sex life before you were married? 

Post # 3
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

 

hushbee:  It is very wrong of him to place the blame on you and to say hurtful things like you have a big vagine (wtf?) BUT he is probably just being really defensive because I’m sure he’s aware of his small peeper.

Maybe just sit him down and let him know “Hey honey, I love you and I enjoy having sex with, but sometimes it takes me longer to *O* so let’s try xyz and see if that’d be fun!”

I think comes across better than “Ummm babe your peeps is small and it’s just not doing it for me, I don’t enjoy the sex and you don’t last long enough”….

Post # 5
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

 

hushbee:  Is sex the only time he seems to disregard your feelings on the matter or is this usual behaviour?

Post # 6
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

hushbee:  This guy sounds so controlling <– not fun in bed!  Given his attitude I think any discussion you try to have with him is going to end badly.  So I think you should just give him a good performance, if he’s hitting the right spot moan like crazy and if he wants to watch you play with your vibrator do whatever it is that makes you orgasm and let him see how much fun you’re having!  Maybe he’ll get the hint!

Post # 7
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Whoa. I would seriously consider finding a sex therapist because this is an issue that needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later. It’s a huge deal that he is blaming this on you, especially with such hurtful words. NOT OKAY. He has ONCE “decided to let you finish during foreplay?” What the hell does that even mean… that he isn’t okay with you coming first, HE gets to come first and then too bad for you if you haven’t? There is so much wrong here. I am really angry on your behalf, OP. I’d also like to know if he’s this dismissive of you and your needs all the time or if it’s limited to sex.

Post # 9
Member
9531 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Contrary to his opinion, this is super common. This is not your fault. He definitely needs to be open to trying new things. Period. He can suggest new things too. And I would approach it as “new things to do to have more fun” rather than “new things to do to have an orgasm” because that can be a lot of pressure. Especially in the extended foreplay/oral sex realm. I absolutely agree that it doesn’t help to tell him he’s small. But if he keeps coming back to you being too big, I’d absolutely say that is not the case and it’s rude of him to speak that way and if he keeps bringing it up…I’d go there. Have you tried rear entry positions where you could provide clitoral stimulation during sex (vibrator, shower head, hand, etc.)?

Post # 10
Member
9531 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

hushbee:  WTF???????? I didn’t think it was possible to be too wet!! That makes no sense at all! Is he squeamish about bodily function stuff? I’m so confused!

Post # 13
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am sorry, I don’t have any advice as I have not been in a sitation like this. But you definately are not to blame here and I think he is out of line in a lot of the things he is saying to you. You’re handling it the right way though. Have a good talk with him and if needed, talk to a sex therapist. Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

hes being a real jerk about this. I hope you can make him see that. You should get him to let you (LOL it should not need to be phrased like that) try to We Vibe. Hands free vibrator that will also give you internal pressure during intercourse. http://we-vibe.com/

Post # 15
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

hushbee:  i can really only orgasm from clitoral stimulation.  it works best for me/us when i am on top, i can control the motion and position.  Or when DH goes down on me (oral sex) or using his fingers.

Him on top does nothing for me. And that is not unusual for women.

Don’t feel bad or let your H make you feel bad.  Try other positions until you find something that works for both of you.

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