Post # 1
So… On my end the sex has been fantastic since the wedding. It’s like he’s on crack (I have a higher libido than he does, and I get off best via vaginal penetration.) Only problem is I have a hard time bringing HIM to orgasm. Um, isn’t this supposed to be the other way around? It seems like I can only get him off via oral (or handjobs with lube.) I feel… inadequate. I brought it up, and he said not to worry about it – he’s not complaining. I don’t know anyone IRL to ask. Would it be physical? Emotional? (I don’t initiate much because, well, I’m up for it 5-6 nights a week and most mornings, and he’s up for it 2-3 nights a week. I also regularly stop him when he uses his finger on me because he doesn’t tend his nails/hangnails and he gets a little too enthusiastic – making it painful or uncomfortable, respectively.) Because he’s stressed (just got the news last week that he’s deploying first thing in July)? Are any of those illogical explanations? Any suggestions? I want him to look forward to coming back from deployment instead of looking forward to going.
Post # 3
Everyone is different and certain things feel better for others. Why can’t you just let him get you off vaginally, and then you get him off orally? It just seems like a little bit of your standard role reversal.
Post # 4
Honestly I wouldnt worry about it,my FI goes through certain periods where different things get him off,sometimes its intercourse and sometimes its handjobs/oral, and I really do think he just goes through different phases. I used to get really worried about it and think it was me,that I wasnt good enough/doing things right etc but when I spoke to my FI,he told me it was just what he felt like he wanted at the time.
I wouldnt worry too much,but maybe try new and different things (positions,ideas,different types of foreplay etc)cos thats always fun to try out!
Post # 5
oh and feel free to PM me if you want to!x
Post # 6
@cyneswith: If he isnt complaining, don’t worry about it. Enjoy YOUR ride- weg…..
Post # 7
I would just say enjoy it if he isn’t complaining..My husband has had the same problem before deployments too.
Post # 8
we are bedroom opposites (kinda!)
my “lala” is like super tiny and his “weewee” is larger than average…so it’s very hard (no pun intended) for us to come together (seriously, no pun intended).
he can only last like 3-5minutes because it’s super-duper tight down thuuur. he feels terrible, but he makes it for it in the oral department 😉
we are at a crossroads, so to speak, though. i can’t make it wider and he can’t make it smaller. uggghhh!
Post # 9
@mwitter80: I try this, but he stops me. Maybe because I stop him from fingering me… (We figured out early on I don’t like receiving oral.)
Knowing that others are the same way before deployment kind of helps. There wasn’t an issue until they mentioned they might push up his deployment.
Post # 10
I can sort of relate. My husband’s libido is lower than mine too. If he has sex as much as I’d like him to, it would take a LOT of effort for me to get him to orgasm. And he still may not. He blames his low libido on lack of sleep which is true…he needs a lot of sleep and doesn’t get enough because we have a lot of stuff going on. And yes, stress can definitely cause it too. I would try not to worry about it too much…he’s getting pleasure from oral and handjobs so he’s not being deprived.
Post # 11
My FI left yesterday for his deployment and was only home with me for 3 weeks before as he was away on training before that (so this deployment is really 8 months not six *sigh*) I assumed he would be wanting to F*ck like crazy as he won’t be getting it until our mid tour visit. I was wrong.
Before news of deployment, we had settled into having sex about 4 times a week.
When he came back this time he was barely interested in sex. He just wanted to cuddle and hold me and gave me tons of random hugs, kisses and lots of “i love yous” but we didn’t actually get it on all that much.Istead he was content to just fall asleep in my arms.
I brought it up and asked if this was normal from him (mixed in with question of.. “is it me? Should I be doing something else? .. cause you know.. insecurity is tough to fight on stuff like this) and he said yes, he gets like that before every tour. He just can’t focus on sex and just wants to savor every moment he can with me in other ways
Your hubby may be the same way.
As for your other issues… You could try pleasuring yourself with dildo while sucking him off, that might spice it up?
Post # 12
Try something new. My FI has a hard time finishing when he has been drinking (probably normal, but he is the only person I have ever slept with so no one to compare it to), and I just switch things up to help him finish. It works most of the time.