(Closed) Way TMI – Help in bedroom

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Everyone is different and certain things feel better for others. Why can’t you just let him get you off vaginally, and then you get him off orally? It just seems like a little bit of your standard role reversal.

Post # 4
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly I wouldnt worry about it,my FI goes through certain periods where different things get him off,sometimes its intercourse and sometimes its handjobs/oral, and I really do think he just goes through different phases. I used to get really worried about it and think it was me,that I wasnt good enough/doing things right etc but when I spoke to my FI,he told me it was just what he felt like he wanted at the time.

I wouldnt worry too much,but maybe try new and different things (positions,ideas,different types of foreplay etc)cos thats always fun to try out!

x

Post # 5
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

oh and feel free to PM me if you want to!x

Post # 6
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@cyneswith: If he isnt complaining, don’t worry about it.  Enjoy YOUR ride- weg…..

Post # 7
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would just say enjoy it if he isn’t complaining..My husband has had the same problem before deployments too. 

Post # 8
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

we are bedroom opposites (kinda!)

my “lala” is like super tiny and his “weewee” is larger than average…so it’s very hard (no pun intended) for us to come together (seriously, no pun intended).

he can only last like 3-5minutes because it’s super-duper tight down thuuur. he feels terrible, but he makes it for it in the oral department 😉

we are at a crossroads, so to speak, though. i can’t make it wider and he can’t make it smaller. uggghhh!

Post # 10
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I can sort of relate. My husband’s libido is lower than mine too. If he has sex as much as I’d like him to, it would take a LOT of effort for me to get him to orgasm. And he still may not. He blames his low libido on lack of sleep which is true…he needs a lot of sleep and doesn’t get enough because we have a lot of stuff going on. And yes, stress can definitely cause it too. I would try not to worry about it too much…he’s getting pleasure from oral and handjobs so he’s not being deprived. 

Post # 11
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

@cyneswith:

My FI left yesterday for his deployment and was only home with me for 3 weeks before as he was away on training before that (so this deployment is really 8 months not six *sigh*) I assumed he would be wanting to F*ck like crazy as he won’t be getting it until our mid tour visit.  I was wrong.

Before news of deployment, we had settled into having sex about 4 times a week.

When he came back this time he was barely interested in sex.  He just wanted to cuddle and hold me and gave me tons of random hugs, kisses and lots of “i love yous” but we didn’t actually get it on all that much.Istead he was content to just fall asleep in my arms.

I brought it up and asked if this was normal from him (mixed in with question of.. “is it me? Should I be doing something else? .. cause you know.. insecurity is tough to fight on stuff like this) and he said yes, he gets like that before every tour.  He just can’t focus on sex and just wants to savor every moment he can with me in other ways

Your hubby may be the same way.

As for your other issues… You could try pleasuring yourself with dildo while sucking him off, that might spice it up?

Post # 12
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Try something new. My FI has a hard time finishing when he has been drinking (probably normal, but he is the only person I have ever slept with so no one to compare it to), and I just switch things up to help him finish. It works most of the time.

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