Post # 1
Last Friday SO and I figured out the ring budget and that it would be best for me to choose because we have wildly different ideas (he wanted a “perfect” round stone in a yellow gold solitaire setting, I wanted to compromise a bit on color and clarity, G + VS vs D and VVS/IF so that I could have a larger stone). We’re planning an online purchase, so all that’s left to do is pick a diamond for the setting I’ve chosen and order.
Sunday I playfully asked about when we’d order and he said “we just got engaged, lets enjoy that for a few weeks”. Um. OK?
I don’t feel engaged. I’m almost feeling like I imagined him saying this. I overheard him tell a friend on the phone that we were ready to buy an engagement ring. I’d just like for this ring to be on my finger before I start telling people that I’m engaged. Sigh.
We’re in for a big snowstorm this weekend. Maybe ring ordering will be a good snowed-in activity!
Post # 3
@LeenieBee: well congrats on the engagement at least!
Post # 4
@LeenieBee: You need to sit down and talk with him about this, do you want to say that you are engaged before the ring and proposal?
Ask him “the other day when you said this…. I was very surprised, I didn’t know we were engaged!” Talk it out, explain your expectations and ask him what he is thinking. It may be awkard yes, but it will be less awkard than him going around and possibly telling others that you are engaged when you don’t even feel you are!
Post # 5
I agree, I think you need to tell him that you don’t really feel engaged until there’s a ring. It’s totally possible that he wouldn’t understand that, especially since most guys don’t wear a ring during the engagement period. They just don’t get the symbolism for us =). I completely think you could bring this up without starting an argument or anything like that.
Post # 6
It sounds like you are definitely engaged, especially since he is telling people. You should explain to him that you would like to share the news with friends and family too, but feel awkward doing so without the RING!!
Guys are soooooo dense sometimes. How can he note realise the ring is the very first thing people want to see when a woman says she is engaged?? Sheesh.
Post # 7
Oh honey. Forget about the ring for a second. Sit down and have a talk with him asap. Obviously you guys have major differences in what you define engaged as… don’t start a marriage with such a huge communication error!!