- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
OK so I just need to vent. Sorry that it’s so long! Please tell me if I am being unreasonable.
I’m getting married on June 6th and one of my bridesmaids has been causing problems all along and I literally don’t know what to do. Is there anything I can do?
I posted a while back that she kept “forgetting” to order her dress until I finally told her that she HAD to do it. She didn’t have a legitimate reason why she waited so long. I even offered to order it for her and put it on my credit card temporarily (I thought she was maybe waiting for a paycheck?? – turns out she wasn’t).
Then, my maid of honor (who is a college student that works 2 jobs) was trying to plan the bachelorette party and asked everyone when they’re free. This girl never responded so we decided to do it this coming weekend (given it’s a holiday and we all have a 3 day weekend). All of a sudden she comes back and says “the whole month of May just won’t work for me.” Mind you, she said this mid-April. Essentially saying, do it this weekend or next or else I’m not coming. Then, she told me that she’d be there no matter what and she’d just “change her other plans”. Needless to say, we decided that since she didn’t bother to respond in the first place, we couldn’t change our plans just for her. As far as I know, she is not coming. People are busy, I get it, no big deal.
A few weeks ago, my aunt threw a shower for me and this bridesmaid was invited. She never RSVPed to my aunt, so I had to contact her and find out if she was coming. Her response to me? “Well I was waiting to see if I could get a sitter. But I’m a bridesmaid so I guess I can’t miss you shower. So yeah, I’ll be there.”….uhhh, what? If you “have” to be there, then why is the sitter a big deal? And if she couldn’t come because she didn’t have a sitter I would completely understand and not be upset. The kicker? She didn’t show up. The shower was at 1…I got a text at 4 saying that she “forgot” to come and that she was “soooo sorry!”
Fast forward to now – I am trying to figure out logistics for the day-of. She already announced she didn’t want the stylist I hired to do her hair/makeup. I am not asking anyone to get it done professionally, I just offered since she’ll already be there. I asked her on Monday what time she plans on arriving at the hotel (where we will be getting ready). I had already discussed with her that the photographer is coming at 11:30 for getting ready photos and we have to be out the door by 12:30 at the very latest, but she still asked what time she had to be there. I responded by reiterating the timeline, but also saying “if you want to show up dressed and ready to go, that’s fine. If you want to get ready with us, or change at the hotel, or just do finishing touches, whatever, that is fine as well. I just need to know so we can figure out if we need one hotel room or two”. I have yet to get a response.
I’m sorry – I know people have busy lives and she should not prioritize me above her family or other friends, but COME ON! At least reply! I have literally asked ONE thing of my girls – to buy a dress.
Am I nuts for being upset by this? I asked my fiance if he thinks that maybe I am just stressed and being unreasonable but he agreed that she’s being difficult. I am running out of time to play these games with her!!!