Post # 1
I’m looking for ideas to remove the whole “seeing the bride is a big deal” factor from my wedding. So far I’ve come up with
-Greet guests before the ceremony, so they’ve all seen me before I walk down the aisle
-Walk in from the side when FI does
Any other ideas? I’m looking for things that make my appearance not the focal point of the ceremony.
Post # 2
I think no matter how you work it people are still going to ooh and aww and smile at the bride coming down the aisle. If it matters that much to you i would skip the aisle part. But then you might have people confused/asking why- would that attention be worse?
its likely the friendliest crowd youll ever be in front of, people who love you. Are you sure a walk down the aisle isn’t something you could be at peace with?
Post # 3
You could always wear a plain/simple dress, have understated hair/accessories, not walk down the aisle at all (i.e. stand with the officiant), or dress your bridesmaids in the same color as you. I think having a short, simple ceremony would help as well. Best of luck!
Post # 4
MrsBuesleBee: “If it matters that much to you i would skip the aisle part. But then you might have people confused/asking why- would that attention be worse?”
Exactly! This is what I’m worried about. I think that anything I do in place of the tradition would be more conspicuous than just doing it in the first place!
“its likely the friendliest crowd youll ever be in front of, people who love you. Are you sure a walk down the aisle isn’t something you could be at peace with?”
Yes, I love the idea of the friendly crowd and the people I love being there to share in the sacred ritual–that’s why I don’t want to elope. But I’m worried that sacred ritual will be partly about “what will the bride wear?” y’know?
Post # 5
If you walk in casually with your FI, I think it will be less of a big deal. I think a lot of it is the long walk down the aisle with the bride approaching the groom. I also think greeting people as they come in could help. People will still be excited to see you though!
Post # 6
sunflower22: What if your FI escorts your down the aisle then all the ooohs and ahhhs are for BOTH of you?
I was at a very small wedding where the bride greeted everyone first and didn’t walk down the aisle and it was still very lovely without the “big reveal”
Post # 7
We had a first look and did a bunch of family and wedding party portraits before the ceremony. And while we were doing them, guests started to arrive. It wasn’t planned to take that long, but probably 60-70% of our guests saw me before the ceremony. I suppose you could always do something like that. Even if it’s not a formal greeting of the guests, be present before the ceremony.
Post # 8
sunflower22: what about adopting the Jewish Tradition of the bride & groom being walked in at the same time from opposite ends with their parents. This way there’s lots of things to ohh and ahh over, not just the bride.
Post # 9
I like the idea of greeting guests as they come in to remove some of the artificial “mystery” and extra focus you’re worried about.
Also, I think if you’ve got the right kind of likeminded community in attendance at your wedding, the bride’s appearance is less of a focal point than you might think. Yes, I got a lot of compliments on how pretty I looked because that’s what you’re supposed to say to brides, and everyone always cranes their necks when the bride walks down the aisle. But it was the poem we read to each other during our ceremony that left no dry eyes in the house, lol. My point is that with the right people around you, they’re focusing on more significant and meaningful things than the trappings.
Post # 10
sunflower22: yes well I think PP is right then- you and FI could walk together and/or you can keep your look elegant and timeless. No mermaid no ball gown no trumpet, no sparklez- a beautiful flattering A-line and hey you could always wear a veil! It’s traditional and might make you feel “protected” and shielded! And it’s also very ritualistic and the antithesis of look at me!!
but mostly I think you should push to find your peace- they’re all there because they love you. And surely- you will never be more beautiful than you will be that day and it’s not about the dress/hair/makeup – it’s about the brides energy and the signifigance of it all.
So long as you stick to the tried and true cuts of dresses and don’t show up in a leg of lamb sleeve or some other extreme fashion statement – they’ll be ooing about how lovely and heart warming the whole scenario is- and your heart should be smiling and ooing too- not worried about people judging! They all have seen you before anyway right?
Post # 11
I love the idea of you and your groom walking in together! I think that would be great.
Post # 12
I also don’t like the idea of the big reveal. I know looking at my brothers’ uncomfortable faces as they try to hide their utter boredom with an expression of interest in my dress and awe at the sacredness of the ceremony will just crack me up and take me out of the moment.
So I’m wearing a more understated dress, having cocktails with all my guests for 45 minutes before the ceremony, and will hopefully be walking down the aisle with my FI. We’re still figuring that part out actually, because he feels like he wants to do something more symbolic of ‘two people coming from apart and joining together’. But the symbolism of me walking up the aisle while he waits for me bugs me, as does me being walked down the aisle by a family member…
Post # 13
We went to a gorgeous wedding a few months ago where the bride and groom greeted us at the door, invited us to grab a cocktail and advised the ceremony would be starting in half an hours time. They walked down the front together, through the guests drinking their cocktails and it was then announced the wedding would start. Minimum fuss, and she was holding his hand the entire time.
Post # 14
I was just at my venue yesterday trying to figure out the same thing. I like the idea of the groom and I walking in towards eachother from the sides at the front of the chairs. However, I really want my dad with me, so I’m just going to have to get over being the center of attention for a few minutes.
Post # 15
Do your “receiving line” before the ceremony to greet everyone, which will give you more time later to play with. Love the idea of you walking JB with your FI too.