Post # 1
Granted, I had been MIA for 4 years up until a few weeks ago, so a lot of the old members aren’t on here anymore, & I don’t spend the majority of my time in the wedding related threads since I’m no longer planning a wedding, but in general it just seems… meaner. More primitive.
I just don’t remember there being this much dissention, snarkiness in threads, or people picking apart each other’s personal beliefs/preferences/lifestyles, like jackals picking flesh off a carcass. It’s just sad! I was reading back over some of the threads I had commented on from a few years back, & it just seemed much more lighthearted than it is now. Bees seemed happier, more supportive & less eager to attack as quickly. Yes, there were still people who didn’t get along, but I don’t know…. I try to just let things slide off my back, even if I do get offended at someone’s comments or viewpoints, but wow.. Even as benign as I try to be, I’ve experienced backlash myself. Live & let live doesn’t seem to be the motto in the hive.
Like I said, I don’t know if it truly is different now, or if it’s just my perception & the fact that I was mostly distracted with other things in the past, so I didn’t pay attention as closely. All I know is that it’s been bothering me now that I’ve been back & able to observe these past few weeks.
Honestly, I know it doesn’t matter at the end of the day, because it’s an online forum where everyone is anonymous (if they’ve chosen to be that is) & who really cares if BettyJo in New Jersey thinks BobbieJean in Wisconsin is a beeotch, but I just wanted to get this off my chest! Whew!
ETA: I am not picking out threads in particular & I ask that IF you choose to comment, please do not give any details or specifics about your own observations or experiences, out of respect for the WB Rules! Otherwise, I’ll just close the thread myself so no one gets in trouble! This is JUST my own personal observation, not meant to harm anyone directly.
Post # 3
I haven’t been on here that long, but I do notice a good amount of bees covering themselves – like disclaimers because some people pick apart statements. I read the “expectation of backlash” in a lot of posts and I do think that is a little sad. I wish people would just assume the best in people until proven otherwise.
Post # 4
Yeah I agree, it is definitely a lot snarkier around the bee lately.
Post # 5
@okqueenbee: Ha! And +1 absolutely
Post # 6
I’m actually at the point I don’t like posting my e-ring. I posted it just the other day when I finally got it after MONTHS of waiting, and because I’d posted a stand-in and said great things about it, people automatically assumed I was a liar. Granted, I don’t explain things perfectly, but it was literally the next day I was posting how excited I was for my forever ring to come. People thought my fiance’s sister was flirting with him because I didn’t explain something well on one post! So obviously I’m not always the best explainer, lol. I didn’t think it would look suspicious at all, but apparently it did. Even after I’d posted several times that my fiance is several years older than me, established well, etc., people still couldn’t take that as an answer. Yes, I may be a bit over-sensitive. But, I pride myself on being a very honest person, and for everyone to just assume I’m a liar because I didn’t word something perfectly is offensive. I’m sorry. But it is. I always give people the benefit of the doubt, and to insinuate someone’s a liar on their own thread being excited about their new engagement ring is a bit inappropriate in my opinion. Wish I’d joined back when the bee was more friendly!
Post # 7
Interesting to hear. Four years is a long time though, especially in “internet years.” I’d imagine that most websites have changed significantly in that time!
Post # 8
@okqueenbee: Yes! I have only been on here a month and there is a HUGE amount of snarkiness towards other people. I try to be nice but some people are just downright sneering little high school girls who try and make you feel as though if you don’t have the best of everything then why the hell are you even bothering getting married? Experience has told me that usually if people are sneering down their noses and judging others, it’s usually to keep from being judged themselves… so all is not happy and joyous in their own life. But it’s pretty darn good in my life so I just remember these girls are unhappy and move on.
Post # 9
@okqueenbee: I haven’t been a member for too long, BUT i can see what you are saying for sure. It seems like every thread people are just LOOKING for something to attack at someone.
Post # 10
I think that until I compare to other online forums…then I’m back to being grateful for the bee!
Post # 11
I’ve noticed this as well. I was a veryyyyyy long time lurker, just recently actually joined. Posters now are more bitter and miserable. I just ignore them.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
@okqueenbee: I completely agree. I’ve been a member for about 3 years, and just in that time span, I can tell a difference. I think it is partly because the site has more members than before.
Post # 13
I don’t know that a negative snarky thread about negative snarkiness will help with snarky negativity….
Post # 14
@okqueenbee: It isn’t your imagination.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Certain boards (like ring) do convey that kind of perception.
But.. I’ve only been on WB since April or May of 2013.
When WB gets snarky, I hide in Offbeat Bride, lol.
Post # 16
@soinlove79: I know! I just don’t understand why it’s necessary to put up a disclaimer asking people not to berate you for your rant-of-the-day or whatever. Can’t we just move on without commenting if we don’t like the topic or if we think those shoes DO make someone’s feet look big?!
@JenGirl: I haven’t been to any other forums because I liked WB so much & it was the first one I found. I enjoy the sense of community, so I thought it would be nice to come back after a long stretch away. I’m no longer a newlywed or waiting, but I still enjoy reading some of the posts & remembering my own excitement of those days.
@gingerkitten: Yes, that’s probably a pretty accurate assessmention of why it’s different! A wider range of personalities.
@MrsBuesleBee: I’m sorry you found this thread negative & snarky. I don’t feel it comes across that way at all. Now if I had titled it “To Hades with you Snarky Smurfin Beeotches” I could totally see your point.