- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
So my fiance informed me last night that one of his groomsmen is insisting on going to a strip club for the bachelor party. My fiance says he told him it’s not what he wanted to do but his groomsman said they were going anyways.
When we first got engaged we had the talk. He told me he didn’t feel comfortable with me going to a strip club and he didn’t care to go to one either. And I feel the same way. Both of us look at them as gross and border line cheating. Our beliefs play a big role in this.
I told him when he brought up the bachelor/bachelorette parties that I wouldn’t be thrilled if he went to a strip club but would not get upset. So long as he didn’t get a lapdance. Around here the strip clubs are pretty dirty, and having a stripper aunt at a dirty strip club, it grosses me out.
So we agreed, neither of us would go to a stip club. We also decided to stop having premarital sex and wait until the wedding night (another due to beliefs) so with it being a long time since he’s seen a naked woman and then going to a strip club with lots of them when he’s drunk (and he never drinks) it concerns me.
We both agreed neither of us would go to a strip club for our parties. Heck I even decided to stay in town and likely wont be drinking, but this groomsman is insisting on going. I’ve been pretty lax about what they do for the party. I’m even paying for their hotel room, and gave my fiance the green light to do things he and I stopped doing a while ago together, told him I’m ok with him doing it that one night. But this was one area that we both agreed on and now he’s saying they will be going.
I know it will be OK if he goes, I’m sure he wont cheat but (and let’s please not debate on this part) we believe to even lust after someone else is a sin, and without him having any kind of sex and being around a bunch of naked people, I can see what will happen.
We also agreed neither of us would go that route since he doesn’t want me going to a strip club either. I’m sure this topic has been brought up time and time again but I don’t know what to do or how to handle it. It’s his bachelor party so I don’t want to set these unrealistic limitations, but we both set this for eachother and now it looks like he will be going anyways, despite our agreement.
Do I just get over it? Talk to him and remind him of the agreement? (<I tried to last night but he kept saying he tried to say no but the guy wouldn’t listen) Go to one myself? (but that seems childish and petty to me) I don’t know what to do or say, he already knows my feelings, and his friends are the ones wanting to go. He offered to just not have a bachelor party when we were discussing this but of course I told him he had to have one.
Advice opinions or anything? What should I do?