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about your SO, or about your relationship? I know it's not always easy to talk to your friends or your SO about these things, because it may be something you just can't control.
For instance, I have trouble going OUT without my FI. Not because I don't trust him...but just because I like to spend time with him. But in order to fix this, we're going out with our friends seperately this Saturday. So I'm working on that!
& that's something I couldn't talk to just anyone about. Maybe admitting it here on the board's will help!
So, what's something you wish you could fix about your relationship? Anything?
I wish he wouldn't leave his clothes all over the floor! He leaves them on the floor and most of the time they're clean, he just doesn't put them away! Ack! Lol.
He has the worse memory, which has led to me being in charge of the bills.....another thing I would change in our relationship is our spending habits---we tend to be frivilous with our money and really should focus on budgeting and saving!
oh and wish that he was better at doing laundry and folding/putting it away!
the tidiness of our home is nowhere to be found on my guy's radar. and because this just happened this morning, he also has the habit of leaving a completely empty cereal box on the counter.
FI has horrible sinuses - has had them all his life - so he's constantly having to blow his nose and he leaves his goddamn dirty tissues everywhere. He also has practically no sense of smell so he can't really tell when a shower is in order and I have to basically be like you stink, take a f**king shower like he's a small child. Also, he snores sometimes because of the sinus problems. I asked gently once if he would contemplate having the surgery but he doesn't want to for whatever reason so c'est la vie, right? He does the dishes and cooks for me so, like, I guess I'll suck it up.
I wish that we liked each others' friends better. It really sucks that we almost never go out as a couple with other people... we hang out together, or we hang out separately with our friends. I don't dislike his friends but none of them have girlfriends around here so its not like I can hang out with the boys. And my FI doesn't like my friends (mostly) because he thinks they drink too much (he doesn't drink at all, so really not fun for him). Which is true-- my friends mostly are into drinking parties/games. I wish that my friends did stuff other than drinking, but they don't and I love them so if thats how they choose to spend their time then its what I need to do. Its just hard that we're the first of either of our friends to get married or buy a house (or even really find someone we want to be with long term).
I am **really** hoping that this problem will work itself out in the future when our friends grow up a little, find people, get married, have kids, etc and/or when we make some more couple friends that are a bit more "where we are."
I hate our work schedules. I work a typical 9-5 job at a biopharmaceutical company and he works in the same industry but does shift work (2nd shift) so his hours are 2:30 pm to 1 am. Three days a week we only get about an hour, maybe hour and a half, to spend with each other where we are both coherent. Plus he stays up until like 3 or 4 am when he does get home so I miss his presence in bed next to me. What bothers me most is that he thinks this is ok, but I wish we had more time...
He would shower as soon as he gets home. He is a mechanic, and gets dirt stuff EVERYWHERE!!!!!! Also, he would put his clothes away at night when he goes to bed.
I love him very much but i really wish he would finish what he starts. Like finishing the dishes and Drying clothes After washing them. FI has this habit very bad!
I'd like FI to be more confident and outgoing. He actually used to be super-outgoing before we started dating, but it's like I've unconsciously made him more antisocial or something.
I think mostly I'd just wish he had a better job. He'd be less grumpy and happier with life if he did, and I'd be happier because then he'd consider having kids in the near future. Also, I wish that he wouldn't have to much fun annoying me (he really does annoy me on purpose because he thinks it's fun...) sometimes isn't so bad, but some days I just dont feel like it.
I wish that Mr. Library wasn't as socially awkward as he is sometimes. He has a hard time approaching new people and suffers a little from low self-confidence, and I wish I could fix that for him.
I know what you ladies mean about your guys leaving clothes on the floor! Mine does too, and he works in a Shipyard! Ugh..disguisting! But he rubs my back before bed & in the morning so I let him pass & clean up his mess :)
I wish my guy was more keen on the housework. Dude, the dishwasher is like 2 seconds from where you placed your bowl on the counter. PUT IT IN!
Haha...This post is too funny...because I am the one who leaves MY clothes on the floor...haha I wish my FI would stop nagging me about it!
I wish my husband had better communication skills. He gets so grouchy if I ask him something when he is doing something else and it's so frustrating!
I wish he liked the same kind of health food I do and had more drive to go to the gym with me. He's gone once since getting his gym membership. He hates tofu and sorta scowls at all the uber healthy stuff I make or try to eat. I don't really want to downgrade to fattening dinners just so he likes it, too.
I also wish he had a job! But, it's only early January. I'll be fretting come March. He NEEDS one by June!
Believe it or not, FI is very neat and tidy and always thinks to do things like clean up after dinner, do the laundry, etc. without me asking him so I feel lucky in that regard.
The one thing that drives me nutz sometimes is how meticulous he is about little things. Like when we were putting together our wedding website, we would take turns writing in things like how we met, etc. and whenever it was his turn he would take so long reading through and analyzing everything. I actually had to focus my attention elsewhere b/c I can't stand it. I'm obviously not a perfectionist. He also takes a really long time to leave the apartment, b/c he only thinks about one thing at a time so he always forgets something. Oh, and when it's his turn to make dinner (I know, I'm really lucky that we share this duty), he takes twice as long as me to produce a meal and it'll only be the meat, no veggies or carbs. He'll bring it out on plates (one at a time) and realize at that moment he didn't think about sides. Of course, the meat will be cooked perfectly!
I wish he didn't have the one ex that still talks to him. She drives me NUTS! I'm also with EJS, I wish he had more drive to work out with me.
I LOVE my fi, but he leaves his clothes all over the place! He does not put anything in the hamper. He'll sometimes leave dirty clothes on counter in the bathroom and the hamper is RIGHT UNDER the counter! I just don't understand.
And a lot of times he doesn't rinse off his dishes when he puts them in the sink and of course the food gets all dried up on the plate.
He is good looking and has alot of female friends. I havent met them all but they know about me and they are single, sorry but I just dont trust women
He doesnt like to go to places and meet new people. He had anxiety about going to my familys for Christmas, the family he hasnt met yet. Like a social anxiety issue. Which is odd because he works in retail and meets a million new people everyday.
Also, he says he doenst mind that I go out with my friends, dancing or something but when it comes down to it, i dont go cause i feel like he is going to be mad if i stay out super late. Maybe thats just me.
Clothes on the floor, he tried to say i do it all the time, but i dont.
he can be grouchy in the AM and so he doesnt want me or anyone to talk to him first thing, that bugs me cause i like talking ;)
@ misspug - the EMPTY CEREAL BOX thing! WHY do guys do this?! I had to throw it away just yesterday! lol..
My hubby's issue is that he is NOT a planner. I am almost psycho about planning. I need to know WHERE, WHEN, HOW etc.. and he is SOOOOOO not that way.
Drives me insane.
@ms.library- me too. that might be part of the friend thing. Neither of us are really comfortable with new people... but I'm a little better at faking it. :) He has a tendency to be weird around new people and when I tell him to just relax and be himself, he thinks he IS being himself... which is so not the case haha. I just want everyone to love him like i do. (ok maybe not EXACTLY like i do..)
Oh my gosh! The empty cereal box thing reminded me of this. I always have sweet tea in the fridge, made fresh. But whenever he takes the last glass of the sweet tea (which he always does, bc I don't like the grains in the bottom of the jug) he ALWAYS puts the jug BACK into the fridge & leaves it in there for me to find there's no more sweet tea! If we're out, leave it out or in the sink so I know to make more!
Haha, FI always leaves an empty 6-pack container in our fridge! It's like he's in denial that there's no more beer or something. I always joke that he's waiting for the beer fairy to come by and fill it up!
the only thing i can say is that he hates to put his clothes away, and that would be a nice thing for him to do since the office has turned into his closet. But you know, I wouldn't change a single thing. I feel like that kind of thought messes up the natural order and stuff. I wouldn't want him to think things like that about me, b/c I sure do have a lot of faults :) Que sera sera!
I had to do a guilty smile reading these... I'm the one who leaves clothes everywhere, fi's super clean and tidy! He's pretty good about being patient with me, but I know I'll have to try harder once we're married so that I don't drive him nuts.
There are 2 things I'd change about my beloved... firstly, I'd give him more self confidence. It's not obvious, but *I* can tell that he gets anxious quite often, even when dealing with sales people, for example, and he says stuff that makes me want to shake my head and sigh. It's something we've talked about, and he likes that I can see straight through him and understand his weaknesses, know him fully and still love him. I have my own mini 'issues', you know, and he's really understanding about that, so we're all good :)
The other thing is... he's SUCH a city boy! The only pet he's ever had is a cat, and he just has NO idea how to deal with animals. Currently my bunny is running around my back lawn because he got away when fi was holding him, and we can't catch him. I grew up on a big back country sheep & beef farm, and so unconsciously developed animal sense and an understanding of their behaviour and how to handle them. Poor fi, I get quite frustrated with him at times (e.g. when he's holding my horse for me while I take her shoes off, but keeps letting her graze or move round), but it's so NOT FAIR because he just doesn't know! So I've been trying really hard to not have unreasonable expectations, and to teach him how to do things before I expect him too. He still feels bad when he can't do it right though.
Wow that turned out longer than I expected!
@Miss: I have the tendancy to get anxious when talking to people too! Haha, and FI see's it & I know it can be a problem of mine. It sucks getting all worked up for no reason!! LOL
& I know what you mean about a city boy & a farm girl..I used to have horses myself & FI knows nothing about them! He doesn't really know much about the outdoorsy life, but at least he likes fishing! I'm there with yah girl!
Sorry about your bunny btw, I hope you guys catch him soon!!
LOL i think i'm the typical "guy" in the relationship. I leave my crap all ovah the place! I did it before DH came home tho, so to be fair, if he left it until the evening (instead of cleaning up while i was at work), i'd more than likely get around to it. Then again, if i didn't throw it on the floor, nobody'd ever have to pick it up....sigh.
haha I'm with you mizrunzou! FI is super tidy and clean (result of being in the Army) and I'm.....well I'm not. I'm not disgusting, but not as tidy as him at all. He nags me about it all the time!
Also....sometimes I wish he wasn't SO comfortable around me haha. We don't live together and won't until after we are married and I'm terrified of what might come to the surface then. If he is holding anything back now, I might be in trouble!
The two things I would change are:
1.) That his daughters mother would deal with him in a much more humane manner. There is a lot of drama with the custody/visitation and overall jealousy issues and that sometimes comes into our relationship (i.e. he is in a bad mood, so I deal with a grumpy sweetie all night or we plan to do something and kids come hours late, etc.).
2.) That he wouldn't sweat the small stuff so much.
I laughed the entire time while reading these posts. The funny thing is we all seem to have very similair issues!
My FI is an Electrician and comes home filthy and if he's tired he thinks its okay to go to bed without showering. Not okay! I don't want that filth on my sheets. Also he has the worst eating habits and it drives me crazy how much crap he eats! I don't know if its worse that he actually eats a box of candy in a sitting or the fact that he doesnt gain a pound!
I think perhaps most women have this complaint, but I wish he would listen better. It's not that he ignores me or tunes me out when we have a conversation, but it seems like half the time he doesn't remember stuff that I've told him!
1) That he would not work so much.
2) That we could go away on the weekends every once in a while, which we can't ever make plans for since he works so much.
3) That he would offer to wash the dishes every once in a while, since I do all of the cooking and we have no dishwasher.
4) That he would be a little more concerned about his long-term health and not eat so much garbage, and work so much!
5) That he would be more willing to go out with friends and other couples, and not groan at the very mention of it.
6) That he would buy me flowers of his own volition, without me having to basically nag him to do it.
I gotta give him credit, though, for finally learning to put his dirty boxers into the hamper and not on the floor. I am excited. Maybe socks are next!
Haha @Maria...maybe socks are next! That made me laugh 
Kind of along the same lines as Library, but my hubs is weird in social situations sometimes. But, he's not shy and doesn't lack confidence, either. He just doesn't like making small talk and becomes Mr. Silent, and I feel like I have to carry all the awkward conversations with people ... even at HIS company functions! It drives me nuts. We'll be standing there talking to his coworkers, and there will just be silence, and I always have to jump in and keep the conversation going.
I talked to him about it tons of times, and he said, "The silence doesn't bother anyone but you." It took me a year of complaining to finally get through to him and now he understands that no one enjoys small talk, but you have to make it sometimes because that's what adults do. I'm praying it gets better or maybe I'll start making him go to corporate events by himself :)
He picks at his cuticles--it drives me INSANE! He'll do it until he's bleeding, yuck. I told him that before our e-pics and the wedding, he'll need to walk around with bandaids over his fingers so they can heal and so he can't get to them.
He's also not the neatest person...I'm almost always the one cleaning, doing laundry, doing dishes, etc. He'll say, "oh leave it, I'll do it later." Yeah, an hour later, things are exactly where I left them and he's still sitting on the couch glued to ESPN!
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