Post # 1
I can’t believe im writing this..
I want to write about our whole story but at this point I can’t. I can barely type as I write this.
But I want to know what would you do if the man you’ve been with for 6 years and engaged for 1, have our date August 2nd 2014. Living in our brand new house for a year now..
Have ups and downs but for most part am happy, I love him so much. He’s my best friend and I can’t describe it. I do admit though I have felt lonely, not much affection or sex for awhile now.
He has come clean today and admitted he doesn’t love me like he used to, feels like we are more “roomates/friends” than lovers. Wanted to post-pone the wedding and maybe get things sorted out and see a councilor. He says he’s not happy. Before he left I double checked and said so its done? He said ya hes pretty sure we’re over.
We have broken up in the past but I just can’t get believe this. I guess I’ve been in denial.
I called my best friend and mother, who lives far away and am looking at going back there.
What would you do if he came back and said he wanted to work on it etc. Should I just go even if he does try?
Post # 3
I think maybe he needs time to truly understand his feelings and decide what he wants. I am so sorry this is happening to you, but you have to respect his honesty. I personally think you guys should both work on it together and individually and be SURE it’s the right decision whether you stay together or split ways. If it was me, I would hope he comes to realization that he’s being crazy and can’t live without you. My relationship sounds crazily similar to yours and I would also be heartbroken…
Sorry sweetie 🙁
Post # 4
I’m really sorry you are going through this. As difficult as it will be, maybe use this time to really look back at your relationship and think about what was going well and what needed improvement (from both ends). After that much time together and everything you have been through, I don’t think there is an easy way to get over him and move on. Take some time for yourself first and then begin reflecting on your relationship. Even though you loved him a lot, was the relationship all you wanted it to be? Did you feel loved and special each day (even on rough days)? I can’t tell you what to do if he comes back. I don’t know your relationship well enough. It could be time away was needed to figure out what’s best for you as a couple or individually. I hope this helps, even if it’s just a little.
Post # 5
@HopelessRomanticxo: I’m so sorry to hear this! Your situation sounds so similar to mine (together 6 years, engaged about 6 months, just bought a home) so maybe that’s why it hit me so hard. I don’t have any great advice, but wanted to let you know that if I were you, I would definitely try to work on it! Give him some space and see if he is willing to see a therapist with you. Maybe some space will help him see clearly. I can relate to sometimes feeling more like friends/roommates. Whenever I feel like that, we must have a date night ASAP. good luck!
Post # 6
He pretty much said he doesn’t wana get married to me at this point and can’t really see himself with me 5-10 years from now or if so maybe divorced. Also, never wants to move to where my family lives and doesn’t wana take every vacation to go see them.
Post # 7
If that’s how he is really feeling, is that even a relationship you want to be a part of?
Post # 8
I’m afreaid to say from what you have described it sounds like he has already made his decision. You mention the possibility of councilling however you say he said “it’s pretty much over”. If he trully wanted to rescue it he would go to councilling and fight for your relationship.
Hugs. Take time to breathe, to think. If he comes back apologiseing and taking it all back, suggest the councilling and do what you BOTH can to make it work. If he doesn’t, look after yourself and spend time on building your life.
Post # 9
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It really hurts. It sounds trite, but the passage of time really does work miracles.
Right now, it’s all a shock to your system & you naturally long for the status quo. But, as a PP said, if he really feels that way, do you want to be in a relationship with him?
Or would you rather be in a relationship in which you feel cherished?
Post # 10
@HopelessRomanticxo: I think many people are going to tell you “better now than a divorce later.” Although that certainly will not make you feel better, it is true. Five years ago I broke an engagement. It is a devastating thing to start your life over, but guess what, I met the most amazing man. And, our relationship is 100 times stronger than my ex. We are so perfect for each other. You will have the same thing. There is someone else better suited for you. Although it doesnt feel that way at the moment, one day you will look back at this and be happy. I promise.
Post # 11
@HopelessRomanticxo: I agree with everyone, He just needs time to understand what he is getting into before saying I do. I know it’s painful but at the end of the day, It’s better for him to say something now than at the alter.
Just give him some time. Say a prayer and take it day by day.
Post # 12
If you don’t mind, what are your respective ages? A 25 year old leaving a 6 year realtionship is very different from a 34 year old man doing the same. (Many mid-20s who have been in 1 relationship since their teens can start thinking they’ve “missed out” but a couple months/years of dating can make them realize they weren’t missing what they had imagined.
If I was you – leave – don’t look back. If you just get on with your life, do not call him or email him – ironically that more than anything may have him rethink his decision. (Unless he’s the rare exception) if you call, cry, cling it will push him away for good. It’s best for you and him to push forward and build a new life – and find a man who can’t wait to marry you.
Post # 13
@HopelessRomanticxo: I am so sorry this is happening 🙁 You sound like you are in shock. Take some time for youself before working on anything with him or deciding there is no hope. You can’t think straight when he’s just hit you over the head like this.
Post # 14
If you admit to your self that you are not feeling loved then maybe this is for the best. Maybe time apart will help both of you see if you are right for each other.
Post # 15
@HopelessRomanticxo: I’m so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you are completely devastated and perhaps numb. I might try to get away for a few days to clear my head… go see momma or my friends and soak up some love.