(Closed) We are growing apart

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Oh my goodness…I’m so sorry to read you are going through this.  How awful.  I am not in a similiar situation, but I do want to offer some support.  How long will his deployment be?  Can you go with him? Would you want to?  Is there a way to “schedule” a date night each week so you have a few set hours to be together and work on your relationship? 

Post # 4
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

I am so sorry this is happening. You two need to seek marital counselling before everything fails. He is taking you for granted and that isn’t fair to leave you so neglected. You need to communicate to him that you feel neglected. You relationship NEEDS dates, sex, flirting and fun. I am sure he can find a few hours out of his week to do these things. I am so sorry and I hope you two get through this.

Post # 6
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What about weekends? Maybe schedule a casual date to go out to breakfast and grocery shopping. Basically do something that you need to do anyway but do it together. Ask him to give you 2 hours. I think you just need to bring up the topic BUT be sure he knows you support his career and schooling but that you just want to be sure you have time together before he deploys. Would you be happy if oyu had a bit of a timeline for when he will have more time? For example if you could anticipate him having a break from classes at Christmas is that going to make it more bearable now? Think about what you need and discuss it with him so you can find a reasonable compromise. Also, if you are not working, I would suggest trying to find a job or take up a serious hobby to keep yourself busy.

Post # 7
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Talk to him – he’s probably just being practical and thinking about what needs to be done to make money and go to school and all that – and not realizing what its doing to you or your relationship. I’m sure you can figure out little ways you guys can spend more time together – he must be able to make SOME free time for you each night or even just a few nights a week.

Post # 9
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This actually sounds like my life and my schedule. We both get home at 7pm and my husband is working full time on his masters. He frequently spends weeks away from home as well.

All this would sound bad, except we love it? We’re so frazzled, but I think we try REALLY hard to be there for each other. Like making time for a picnic on my birthday even though I know he has a big exam the next day. And I really pick up the slack for DH by 100% cleaning the house and laundry so he never has to waste time with that stuff and has more time for me.

Your DH sounds a little burnt out like he needs a vacation or a little more fun in his life.

DH and I decided to built a pillow fortress in the living room tonight and have a movie marathon. Lame, kinda, but we thought it was off the wall and we were feeling a bit too mature lately. Hang in there!

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