- 5 years ago
Sorry to post this among all the happy stories here.
After desperately looking for ways to renew my relationship with bf, I fount here…and the Mr. Bee Plan and all(I think it’s a decent advice). Did anyone truned around a relationship that didn’t seem to have any hopes?
After he moved to where I live 1.5 years ago(4 years LDR, but we don’t live together) I started bring up moving forward and start to build a future together quite often, and it became a source of frequent fights. I would jokingly bring it up bi weekly basis (yes I know this is just not a good idea). Turuning 30 recently, it was always in my head that I really want to have a family (because grew up not really having one), and my time is running out. He would always say that he is not ready, not confident he can do it as life is too crazy as it is now to think about marriage. He thinks he will fail because of our relationship history. Is there anyway to start over and have completely positive relationship with the same person?
We’ve been together for now close to 6 years(LDR 4 years). I struggled to make for some years after college, and it added so much stress on me that I got depressed for a while and emotionally quite dependent on him. It was a very difficult time and we had so much fights about little things to big stuff like moving to same place and some trust issues etc…(when my life is not going so well, relationship is also at stake..we broke up for a month once) To be frank, I am not proud of how I reacted to situations and know I made quite difficult for him while going through difficult phase in my life. Now finally things are looking up with a stable job I enjoy, and much balanced life.. I am not depressed anymore..finance is good too. We think we grew up a lot as individuals, but not so much as a couple…
We enjoy each others company and spend most weekends together, I know he tries and loves me. At the same time we are worn off, and there is this slience when I talk about future or even trying to communicate our needs. This is when it gets difficult. When things are good and we are happy, I try to bring up engagement, he changes all of sudden and becomes distant. He becomes distant and say he is not confident or can’t do it now. He says he need to think if it could be really possible, because he understands it’s important to me.
I am anxious, and although I decided to stop taking about marriage anymore. Am I too late for this…? I don’t want to lose him, at the same time sometimes I feel like nothing is going to work and we will just be bitter and end up really unhappy if we just stay together because we don’t the same thing now… Sorry for the long post. I had to talk to somebody…