We are paying for the bar but I want to make sure people have cash for tips….

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2531 posts
Sugar bee

I would just pay your aquaintence more or offer to tip her at the end of the night or something. Not trying to “etiquette police you” but I really can’t think of a tactful way of asking your guests to bring money. Even if it is a more laid back event (which sounds really fun btw!) it is an event you are hosting and the guests shouldn’t have to pay for anything.

I would find it really weird to be asked to bring cash for tips to a backyard bbq style wedding. Or any wedding really.

Post # 5
760 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

tanya4285:  you’re micromanaging.  

Either people will tip (which is their choice) or not (which is their choice).  You cannot tell people to tip, nor can you tell them to make sure they have cash on hand in order to do so.

The arrangement you have with the bartender is whatever you make it, but you can’t expect your guests to tip.

Most probably will, but it’s really rude to imply that they ‘need’ to bring cash in order to tip your friend.

Post # 6
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’d just pay your bartender more so it equalled a proper nights wage rather than worry if people will tip enough. You could still put out a jar for tips (I don’t go to weddings flush with cash but I will still have some small amounts on me if I did need it) but I wouldn’t feel the need to forewarn guests.

Post # 7
680 posts
Busy bee

Most weddings that I’ve gone to pple tip well. If you’re worried tho, just set aside some money to provide one big tip at the end. 

Post # 8
45133 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

tanya4285:  If you wouldn’t take cash to such an event, I wouldn’t expect your guests to.

Post # 9
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think ppl should already know to bring something for tipping… even at an open bar, I thought ppl still tip the bartender?

Post # 10
9540 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

I agree with your guest, I would put something on the website to give guests a heads up.

Post # 11
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t think you need to say anything – even at events where there isn’t a tip jar people usually tip the bartender. If there is a jar people will — some people more than others but it will usually work out or if its really bad then you might have to slip a $20 or something in there more

Post # 14
760 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

tanya4285:  I’m by no means the etiquette police, but if you think ‘they’ are going to beat you down then you probably know what you’re doing isn’t quite right.


Post # 15
12481 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Unfortunately, tipping is a personal thing, and you shouldn’t really be telling your guests that they need to tip.  You could either pay your bartender more, have tips set aside yourself for the end of the night, or hope that your guests opt to tip and have cash.  We always have tip cash available at weddings, although I do appreciate it more when the hosts deliberately don’t put out a tip jar and take care if it themselves.

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