- 3 years ago
Help bees! I am really in love, happy and excited to get married. We’ve been together for 3.5 years and lived together for half of that time. Our intimacy used to be amazing during the first year or so (maybe less) and then it all just declined… we are still incredibly romantic, kissing all the time, we are tender and loving to each other. He is really sweet to me.
We just don’t have that urge anymore. I am very concerned of it being like this for the rest of our lives. I am very inexperienced and don’t have much to compare it to. He, on the other hand was with many women and lived a crazy life so he is acting like he is ready to settle down and just be calm and (boring?) now. I, on the other hand, am ready to experience everything now because I waited for so long that there is so much I haven’t tried.
I don’t have anyone I can talk about it to. My family is very religious (he is not) and I almost feel guilty discussing this to the point that I created this account to comment on the Intimacy topics.
I’ve told him I believe we need to spice it up, he agrees but then nothing happens. We shower together very often, he rarely gets to climax, very rarely. This has always been the case. He says he trained himself to last long and now can’t undo it. He says he’ll just have to focus on it when trying to conceive.
What do you all think? I’ve considered taking an approach where I live a little before tying the knot. In other words, explore on my own, yes perhaps cheat. These are only thoughts though, I don’t know if I could bring myself to execute it.
We’ve talked extensively about this and he always gets defensive 🙁
All other aspects are ok, finance, emotional connection, future plans, how to raise kids, relationships with family, wedding planning, support, shared interests, etc.