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IMO...you don't put the word out.
Weddings aren't held to get gifts. They're just a bonus.
If you want cash, I think the best bet is to just not register. People will figure it out.
But there are a few that will STILL buy you some crystal nick nack so having a small registry that reflects your taste isn't a bad idea.
I think the most you can do is let those closest to you (parents, bridal party, etc.) know that IF people ask, you could use cash more than anything else.
We did a "Honeymoon Registry" where people purchased certain "items" (dollar amounts). At the end of the day, we just got a check from Travelers Joy, and could use it however we deemed fit, which we did spend it on our honeymoon!
You cannot ask for money at a bridal shower, the whole point of the party is to shower you with gifts. You can ask whoever is hosting to throw a themed shower for stuff you do need or not have one at all.
As for the wedding itself your best bet is to not register at all or even start a honeymoon registry. I do not think there is any polite way to ask for cash in an invitation.
Hopefully someone else can give you info on a money tree, I will say though that if they aren't done in your circle its going to be odd to randomly have one at your wedding (same goes for a dollar dance).
Also, I think the purpose of a shower is the "shower" the couple with gifts to help start their lives together. If you really don't want those gifts, I think you just don't have a shower. I can't imagine a shower with something other than actual presents gifts...
My fiance and I have lived together for 6 years yet we still registered. Do we need 90% of the stuff on our registry? Nope, but there are things that we would like.
Generally speaking, shower guests are going to give you gifts, not cash. If you don't register, you'll probably end up with a lot of junk that you don't want. I would suggest starting a small registry with some upgrades for things you currently have or a few splurge items (nice set of sheets, new towels, maybe a Dyson if you don't already have one).
As for the wedding, where I'm from the majority of wedding gifts are monetary but if it's different in your circle then you could have the completion date of your registry be your shower date. That way if guests go to check your registry it will already be closed which would indicate that perhaps you'd prefer cash. Our friends did this when they got married and it worked out exactly how they wanted.
To answer your original question, you can't just come out and ask for cash but you can do things (like what I mentioned above) to imply that cash would be preferred.
I agree, don't have a shower if you don't want gifts. You could have a themed shower, like a lingerie shower or a travel shower, but don't expect anyone to bring cash to a bridal shower.
We registered for enough stuff for the shower, and had a honeymoon registry. There will be people who are not comfortable giving cash. Plus half the time at the shower, you just watch people open up gifts. What would you do at yours? LOL
I would register for upgrades on the stuff you already have. My husband and I had lived together for over 5 years when we got married. Sure, we had tons of stuff, but it was great to ask for nicer stuff. I donated the "older" stuff to my cousins who were trying to put together an apartment post-college. Worked out for everyone.
Look at honeyfund.com and go to "Create a Honeyfund". It gives you your options for your registry so guests can donate money to your honeymoon, flight/hotel, gift baskets, or even a house downpayment fund. You would list this as your registry along with or instead of a store registry.
I understand where you're coming from. You have what you need as far as home goods go, but what would really help you out is money. Tell your family this and let word spread like that, but it's in poor taste to just come out and ask people for money. Registries like Honeyfund are the only way I know of to get around that. I would still add at least a small registry at one store or another to give your guests the option, though because I know of some people who don't even like the idea of a Honeyfund.
We're going to keep our registry light...just a few must-need items like upgrading our pots/pans and some new towels and sheets and pillows and that's IT. Hopefully we'll get gifts of money when the registry runs out...
I know a ton of our guests (the older crowd) would not be comfortable doing anything with honeyfund.com or any sites like that so we aren't going to do that.
We're going to emphasize to our parents that we need cash so that they can spread the word if asked what we want/need.
There is no polite way to ask for cash. Plus, there are some people, like myself, who aren't comfortable giving cash for a gift and won't do it. Period.
If you don't want physical gifts, don't have a shower. As PPs said, the whole point of a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with physical gifts.
ETA: I am also among the group of people who aren't comfortable with the honeymoon registry websites and would also not purchase a gift from those. IMO, they are identical to asking for (and gifting) cash.
For bridal shower, you get gifts not money. If you don't want gifts don't have a shower. I don't want house things for bridal shower so I asked my host for something like shoes, bags or lingerie themed shower. As for the wedding... we're not registering, but we are doing some sort of honey fund for the honeymoon.
I hope I am not slaughtered here but.........If you really need cash....Register at Bed Bath and Beyond- then get the gifts and return then- as long as they were purchased off your registry then BB&B will give cash back for the gifts if you return them. Just make sure in your thank you's you thank them for the actual gift that they gave you.
I told my mother and any relatives who asked her advice about gifts she told them our preference. We got about 55% of our gifts in money or gift card form, so I was happy.
I've always thought it is really hypocritical to say it's ok to register and let people know what specific items you want as gifts, but god forbid you should just ask for cash. GASP! SHOCK! HORROR!
Do a honeymoon registry, at places like Honeyfund.com, you get to keep the cash.
That's what I thought. Obviously its not cool to ask for cash. I like the idea of "putting it out there" my MIL will be really great at that. Thanks for the suggestions we will definitely register for a limited amount of gifts especially for the shower. I also really like the theme suggestion for it that way we can maybe get some cool stuff for the honeymoon. As far as gifting at the wedding we will be thankful for whatever people bring even if we don't register for a whole lot. I suspect since we are only inviting people who know us well that they won't want to get stuff we don't need either.
Thanks Again ladies I know you would come through!
Miss City
@crayfish: Love it! OH THE HORROR!!! My FMIL said it best, nothing about this wedding is traditional so why start now!
Miss City
@crayfish: Love it! OH THE HORROR!!! My FMIL said it best, nothing about this wedding is traditional so why start now!
Miss City
I am invited to a wedding shower and the couple is registered for their honeymoon. Not an actual online registry, but you have to call the travel agent. Not sure how the unwrapping of the gifts is going to work, but we'll see.
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The MR and I have lived together for a long time and we have so much stuff we feel really selfish registering for things we don't need. Any tips on how we word this on our invites, what can we do for the bridal shower and how can we get out of this bridal registry business.
I've heard of a Money Tree but I'm still not sure what that is all about.
Thanks!
Miss City