- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
My SO (rather my fiancé) and I had a fight about marriage on Monday that absolutely crushed me. Well two days later I’d decided to start looking for my own apartment. When a conversation arose from that it ended with my SO telling me that he would like to propose properly but if I couldn’t wait we would get married ASAP. Fast forward to Friday night (after I posted the story “We fought about getting married and I think I won”) when I took him out to dinner and I got to hear about his friend who had carried the ring around in his pocket for a year and a half waiting for the right moment. The right moment turned out to be when she found it in his pocket when she hugged him one night. He went on to tell me that the right moment had never presented itself because she had really wanted to get married and it had made her into a very bitter person waiting for him to get around to it. (Sound familiar ladies?) It took her 9 months to get over how long he had made her wait.
What was the point of him sharing this with me? He didn’t want that to be us and he realized that there really was no perfect time. Did he take that moment to propose? No, of course not. But I took the opportunity to pry a little bit more about what was really important to him when it came to the proposal, the wedding, the marriage. And he came up with the right answer. Being with me was really the only important part. We changed topics at that point. But he then spent the entire drive home repeating that there was no perfect time that we loved each other and there was no reason we shouldn’t just do it.
So when we got home I went and got a costume ring (the only one I have) out of my stash of assorted accessories. Then I asked him if he really thought we should just do it. When he yes, he really meant that, I told him that in that case I was done waiting and asked him to marry me. He said yes, took the ring out of my hand, and put it on my finger. He then moved the promise ring I gave him well over a year ago to his left hand and asked me when I wanted to do it. (I got that ring with the hope that someday he would be using it as a wedding ring. It felt great to see him wearing on the correct hand.)
Well the when is still up in the air because he needs to decide who has to be at our wedding (yay family politics) so we can figure out how long it will take to save. (I’m easy. I’ve got three people I want in attendance and they all live in the state. His guests might have to do some flying.) I’m voting for a small wedding sometime before march so I can maybe get some financial aid for the next school year. But I’ve got what I wanted. I’m hired for my dream job. The proposal was spontaneous and I never imagined wouldn’t be on the receiving end but it turned out to be perfect. As for the perfect proposal he wanted… he still wants to do that once we go shopping for a ring for me but that is just a formality to make him happy. I’ve got on a $30 band we picked up at Wal-Mart afterwards and I know its just a place holder but I’d be happy to wear it forever.