Post # 1
Seeing as I have never really been to a wedding as an adult, I wasn’t sure if it was normal or not. Now mind you I wasn’t expecting a new car or anything, but I thought it was customary to bring a card or a gift when you went to a wedding…We had at least 80 show up to our and we tallied up 3 gifts, and 3 cards. THere were about 2 or 3 more gifts in the mail. I don’t want to seem shallow…. but I guess some part of me at least expected some 70+ congrats cards. I am happy those who came made it, but I figure free booze and food in Dallas’ tallest skyscraper would at least be worth a card or something, even if there wasn’t any cash in it.
Because I know there are a few bridal martyrs out there, please note this is a personal and free flowing expression, and not a free for all for WB bashing or criticizing.
Post # 3
Have you checked your registry? Guests have up to a year to send you something, so make sure you keep the list going.
Post # 4
I would say that’s not normal at all, based on what I’ve seen through the years and in my own life. I don’t know where all this absence of card and gift giving is coming from, unless you were given many gifts at a shower and people don’t also give wedding gifts. I have a friend from the South who is shocked we give gifts for both events, as she and her friends and family do not. Not sure if its a regional thing or not, but it appears to be one of the many differences in weddings…I’m in the NE.
So sorry. I think its terrible to not have gotten many cards even!
Post # 5
Did you have a shower? Did you get gifts from most of your other guesta at the shower?
To many people (myself included), only 1 gift is required per wedding. So if I bring a gift to your shower, I’m probably not going to bring one to your wedding as well. Sorry, folks, I’m not made of money.
Post # 6
Oooh, some quick googling on the topic of gift at shower plus gift at wedding is telling me that I’m wrong. I wonder how many friends I’ve pissed off over the years by only giving one gift?
Post # 7
Definitely don’t thinly that’s normal; did you have a card box? Is it possible someone stole some of your cards at the reception?
Post # 8
@lwilliams107: I’d be disappointed too. It is customary to give the newlyweds a gift or card of some sort. Hopefully, people will come through and surprise you with cards and or gifts to your residence in the coming weeks.
Post # 9
I was always taught/told there is an “unwritten rule” that you should give a gift at the shower and money at the wedding, unless you missed the shower than you can bring a gift. I normally give what I believe the cost of my meal was plus some… unless the meals over 100 bucks lol.
Post # 11
I’m sorry to say that it’s not normal.
Anyways, I’ve always given a shower gift then brought a card with money to the wedding. At least that’s how it’s been every wedding/bridal shower I’ve participated in. I just recently went to a wedding and gave a card with $200 in it. Definitely not in my budget, but that’s how these things go unfortunately.
I’m sorry you had a bad turnout. 🙁 hopefully people only forgot and will be mailing them out to you or bringing things over.
Post # 12
hmmm. still wondering if you had a shower….
What was the age range of your guests?
Post # 13
thats definately not the norm………personally i would not go to a wedding empy handed, and i think its terrible if anyone would do that. eat and drink all you can provide and not so much as a congratulations card……some people are just plain greedy and ignorant.
Post # 14
I had a shower. about 9 or ten guest showed up. and some “doubled” up for a gift. I got about 5 or 6 all together. So I guess the total comes to roughly 8 or 9 gifts in totality. THe age range of my guests was about 22-93 with the majority being over 30.
Post # 15
That’s very strange. I, for one, give a gift at every wedding related event (engagement, shower, wedding). Maybe wait it out a bit, maybe some gifts will trickle in?
Post # 16
I’m really sorry this happened to you! I, for one, always bring a gift to the shower and then I get another registry gift for the wedding (that I have sent directly to the couple) AND I bring a nice card to the wedding. I’m also fine with bringing a card with cash/check to the wedding, but Fiance prefers to gift registry items.
I don’t want to sound materalistic – and I don’t even really like cards that much – but I’ll be super disappointed if we only get a couple of cards/gifts for the wedding. I mean, we’re providing dinner and entertainment to these people, the least they can do is drop a $3 greeting card into my nice card box.