Post # 1
And now SuperFine wants to just go ahead and “secretly get married and not tell anyone but our witness”.
I’m kind of down with it just because I love a good secret, but I’m not down with being a liar.
I mean, how would it work? Would we secretly celebrate our secret wedding anniversaries and then publicly celebrate our known to others wedding anniversary? Would they need to be held on the same day, just the following year? If so, then my wedding date has already passed and that makes me have to put it out to hot ass summer months. And dont’ get me started on the legal logistics of how that would work. His mother does his income taxes, so she’d find out then for sure. Plus, we work together and are supposed to get an extra five days off when we marry, but I’m sure they’ll ask to see the marriage license or something, right?
To be fair, the main reason he wants to go ahead and do this in secret is because I plan to have Tubal Ligation Reversal by the end of November and he wants ust to be legally married before we conceive a baby. I also think there is a fear that I might get cold feet. I don’t think I will, but it’s a fear for him.
I don’t know, I’m just throwing this out there because I’m genuinely on the fence. I’d like to hear from others that have done “secretly married” or thought about doing this and decided against it.
Post # 3
Did you get your license with the intent of getting married soon? Or was it for your April 6, 2013 date you have by your name? I thought they were only good for a certain number of days.
I was married once before 10 years ago. My ex needed surgeries right away to save his life. His COBRA insurance just ended and we could not get anyone else to take him. BUT my insurance allowed pre-existing conditions as long as the lapse in insurance was under 60 days. So that’s what we did. It was quite a pickle for me.
We also were torn about telling anyone or not. We were engaged only 4 days (well he never proposed technically). I don’t quite agree with the “keeping it a secret” now that I’ve gone through it, but I will say that the excitement was quite lackluster from our families. I had told them all to not make a big deal about it, we were going to redo it all that summer. Not that they were going to make a big deal anyway, but his parents offered to fly out to be witnesses. We were going to do it all over and have the families fly out and meet. In the end we were so poor and we never redid any of it. It just came and went, barely a card from anyone we knew. It was very depressing for me.
Some people look at is a purely legal but aren’t married until their wedding event day.
There are some on here that got married secretly, I hope they chime in.
Post # 4
I know this sounds crazy, but in my county, when you get your license, there is no waiting time and it does not expire. The clerk told us we could go get married right that minute or we could wait another five years.
I think I’m going to wait until his sperm analysis comes back before I decide on anything.