(Closed) We had an argument. Not a big one but still wondering where I went wrong, input?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

TBH-I’m not sure YOU could have done anything different to better the situation.

 

Post # 5
Member
5969 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

NEVER take a man shoe shopping…ever, they don’t get it

Post # 6
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee

I’ll preface this by saying I’m a guy, so I’ll share my opinion, but I know that it may be completely different than your FI’s.

Anyway, I don’t think that you could have done anything different, and I don’t think that everything started from you sighing about something pretty trivial. It could be that something else was/is upsetting him, and your sigh was the straw that broke the camel’s back, or whatever they say. If something else is stressing him out or preoccupying him with worry, he may have just been a bit on-edge and used you as an outlet for that frustration. I don’t think he would do it intentionally, but I’ve found myself getting upset with my girlfriend for small things, only to realize that I’m really upset about the bigger issues that she has no role in (work, my family, etc.).

I do hope that everything works out for you guys, and that you get the right pair of wedding shoes 🙂

Post # 7
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee

Maybe he just thinks the sigh and facial expression is, in my words, “first world problems”. As in.. simple things that shouldnt be a big deal. Yea it is your wedding stuff but maybe he thinks youre pouting and it buggs him. Well yea it does. He said its irritating him. Ive had people point out things I do that bother and I try to break that habit if its that bothersome.

Post # 8
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Leemarie:  tonight is a night of fights! DH and I hardly argue but got in a huge fight tonight!    its so upsettting 🙁 Sorry gal, sleep on it and tlak in the AM about it

Post # 9
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@MrNavidson:  I agree, I think he’s upset over a bigger issue and this was the thing that triggered his anger. I would wait it out for a few hours and hopefully he’ll apologize. Maybe then you could ask him what’s really going on.

Post # 12
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I would just let it go. Like you said, it’s five weeks out from the wedding and getting progressively stressful so that might be it. Your stress might be stressing him out. I would open up a diologue with him about it though. (hugs)

Post # 13
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Leemarie:  Exactly.  Chin up and maybe he needs a gentle reminder that he’s not your supervisor.

As for never taking a guy shoe shopping- My SO loves treating me to a great pair of shoes.

Post # 14
Member
3767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ugh we had a huge fight tonight too! I don’t think you did or said anything wrong. Maybe something else was bothering him? I will say that sometimes FI does an “intentional sigh” when he is stressed and it does annoy me. It’s like he will repeatedly sigh to get my attention or something instead of just telling me what is wrong, and he will dwell on it for a long time and ignore my advice to help de-stress. However, it sounds like you were genuinely stressed and had a genuine reaction? It probably just doesn’t seem like a big deal to him so he doesn’t understand it. *sigh* …men….!

Post # 15
Member
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My man sighs whenever he’s bored/ uninterested in whatever we’re doing at the moment, and it annoys the hell outta me.  Funny thing is?  He doesn’t know he does this.  I call him out on it, but not in a snarky way.  I poke fun at him and turn it into light-hearted conversation.

Annoyed or not, I wouldn’t like it if my man told me things of “how he wants a wife to be”.  There’s something called tact that really needs to be instilled here, especially when you’re dealing with the possibility of hurting someone’s feelings.  Quite frankly, if my man ever said something along those lines to me, I’d respond back with, “Well I don’t believe a husband should be judgemental and snappy”.  I believe in standing your ground at times to maintain self-respect.  In turn, others begin to respect you more for that.

Anywho, this too shall pass..!  We all go through this from time to time.  

But like Nona99 said, never take a man shoe shopping!  It just won’t be fun… ever. Tongue Out

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