(Closed) We had the full out talk

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
6260 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@memo:  A few more years? How long have the two of you been together?

 

Post # 4
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

That’s definitely progress! From your original thread it sounds like you both have a few things to sort out over the next year or so, which can’t be helped, but it’s great to finally have a timeline! Maybe now that you’ve had the talk, he’ll be thinking more seriously about things and with the increased focus on the idea, things may even speed up as he gets more and more used to it.

Post # 6
Member
6260 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was thinking, “Wow, that’s forever!” Then I saw the thread where you said you were going back to school. That’s legit. Nursing school, according to my friends who have done it, is pretty demanding, and it’d be hard to try and plan a wedding around that anyway. And I can understand his stress over money if you aren’t working during the time you’re at school, and you’re both having to live off what he makes.

That said, I’d keep the lines of conversation open. The two of you might decide to have a small wedding now, city hall even, and then do a vow renewal at five years. The wedding isn’t the important part anyway, but I can understand wanting to get some financial stability before you try for that. In your case, I don’t see this being an unreasonable timeline, but only you can decide.

Post # 7
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Your situation sounds a lot like mine. I’m going back to school for nursing, too! And SO wants to wait for me to be done, so that we’re financially stable, which will be many years. I’m working on convincing him we can do it before then, on a budget. Maybe you can do the same 😉 I agree with amusememusically, keep the communication going, he might always change his mind. 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yeah having the talk and getting a timeline in years is hard. I started with a 5 year timeline (I’m down to 4 and 1/2 years now) but school helps some. I’m about two years off from finishing my degree and I’ve found two things to be true for me. 1)the more classes I’m taking the easier it is to distract myself. 2) moving in with SO made it way easier to deal with because I spend more time just enjoying his company.

I found an upside to long timelines too. I still get to spend everyday I wait with the love of my life by my side.

Post # 9
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

I’m in your shoes too. Would love to get married, both on the same page about being finically set for it. But there’s that part of you that just wants it to happen NOW. Hang in there 🙂

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