- 3 years ago
What the hell is wrong with us? First I’m waiting for the proposal, then I’m waiting to set a date, now we have a date and he’s all mopey.
Ok to be fair a little back story is needed here. My FI and I met way back in 2009, I met his Mom and things seemed great, then the next time I saw her I kinda got the feeling she didn’t like me, and then I found out I was banned from her house… WHAT??? Apparently she doesn’t think I’m right for him. So I’m banned. She wants nothing to do with me and will avoid even the slightest mention of me. FI is convinced that if he tells her we’re engaged (yes he still hasn’t told her) she will flip out, throw him out, and have nothing to do with him.
We knew this going into our engagement, it didn’t stop him from Proposing 2/14/13 at 11:58pm. It did piss my parents off though. He had done the right thing and asked my parents for their blessing a little over a week before he proposed, they knew about his Mom, and they told him that he should tell her first before he proposes… but he didn’t. So now, 15 months later she still doesn’t know. And since I finally nailed down a date with him (though no vendors or venues have been booked yet) he’s miserable. Mopey, depressed, anxious, everything. His fear is that we will get married next year, and within 5 years he will lose his family, his job, his friends and me. I have no control over any of the other issues but I am there for him.
I love him, and even with all of this, I still want to marry him, but I don’t want to be the reason he loses his family (even though I know it’s really his Mom’s issue and not mine) I don’t know how to help him. Any suggestions? I suggested therapy to sort through his emotions, but he won’t have any of that.