We have a new baby and husband wants a divorce!!!!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

this situation is so sad with a new boend involved. But it sound like you’ve tried and he hasn’t. He doesn’t seem to want to try for your newborn. You deserve better and your newborn certainly deserves better. 

Sending big hugs your way

Post # 4
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Crlove:  He’s not much of a man, Sweetie. It sounds like he comes from a very sick family. I can only imagine how hard this is for you but if there’s any chance, I think it will rest in your leaving and giving him time and space to miss you and your son.

That said, you ought to give some thought if you really want to stay with him as he is, and consider the actual life that you will have together. Deep down, do you respect him? Trust him? Feel like you can depend on him? Can your son? 

Im no therapist but I know for me in my first marriage, I didn’t want to let go and kept thinking if only a few things were different, we could be perfect.  But they werent different and they were never going to be different And those few things were actually pretty major and more than enough to ruin our marriage.

Keep seeing a therapist to help you navigate this and get yourself an attorney and a child support order. 

Post # 5
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  Your husband’s family is toxic, and it’s a shame that he is taking their guidance over yours.  But, like you say, it takes two to make a relationship work.  If he has no interest in salvaging your marriage, there is not much else that can be done here.  Right now, you need to focus on what is best for you and your son.  Do you really want to raise your son in an environment like this?  Agree with PP that you should continue with therapy on your own and consult with a lawyer to see what your options are if you do end the marriage.

Post # 6
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Have that coward piece of shit sign over his parental rights, file for divorce and never speakto him again. Your son doesn’t deserve an cowardly asshole for a dad. You deserve much better also. Much luck and love.

Post # 7
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Crlove:  Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!  I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.

 

Reading your post, it sounds like your relationship hasn’t been healthy for a long time (ever?).  It sounds like you have been giving 150% and your husband has only been passively involved with you and your son.  Seriously, he can’t handle going on a picnic or for a walk?!?  Sure, maybe he didn’t want to move to Florida, but a mature adult should be able to compromise when needed, rather than be all passive aggressive about it.

 

I know that right now it probably feels like your life is over, but if you leave this man, I think you will never ever regret it.  You have put up with this toxic guy and his toxic family for too long when you (and your son) deserve so much better!  Life is too short to be involved with jerks like these!

 

Post # 8
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee

@Crlove:  I’m so sorry this has happened to you. What a jerk! He is not a man!

Get an attorney before you go abroad and make sure you know your rights!

Post # 9
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Who needs him or his family? 

BUH-BYE. And yes, get him to sign his parental rights over.

Post # 10
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Get on a plane and go back to the UK! Get as much distance between you two as humanly possible.

You had a dream of a family and you have one.

Take your newborn and raise him in a loving environment that is free from the toxins this ‘man’ and his family ooze outwards. I put ‘man’ in quotes because he is one only by age as a definition…not by action, emotion or mentality does he qualify.

I’m sorry this hurts so much right now…but it will only kill you more day by day to hope that you can fix this. 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Ok… Brace yourself. 

This man sounds like a narcissistic, passive aggressive man-child. Honestly, this isn’t about you. There is something going on with this guy and rather then check his balls and tell you what’s really going on he’d rather place the faux blame all on you! And you’re letting him do it. 

Now I hate to say this but I’m going to because I watched my father nearly ruin my mom with this same tactic. Is it possible that he’s got another fish on the line? I don’t mean that he’s already cheating…but is there a girl he’s liking the idea of exploring? Maybe it’s not another gal, but honey, he’s pushing you away for some reason and whatever that reason is, he’s made up his mind that the relationship is over. My mom spent years trying to fix every reason my dad tried to give her about wanting to leave. It made her miserable because in trying to be ‘his dream woman’ she lost herself. And at the end… she lost him anyway…to the gal he’d been banging for years. 

Marriage is all about compromise. It’s about learning about, and loving your partners individual personality quirks. It’s about learning to live with those little things that irk you while loving the person who does them. Look…he’s already decided to walk out that door. The sooner you let him, the sooner you can concentrate on building a healthy family with your son, and possibly a REAL man sometime in the future. One who will love your optimism and all of your individual personality quirks.

Post # 13
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@musicalrose: +1 This is exactly what I was thinking as I read through this post…

Post # 14
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@musicalrose:  +1

 

Dont waste anymore of your time on him, all he’s doing is wasting yours. 

Post # 15
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Crlove:  there is something wrong with HIM that he wants you to go back overseas with your son! I have a 6 week old and I can’t imagine DH ever willingly leave his life. You are not the problem. He and his family are. I’m so sorry. I want to say good riddance but I m ow at my the simple. Try to just focus on what you and your baby right now.

Post # 16
Member
550 posts
Busy bee

@Crlove:  I am so sorry you are going through this but I’m with other PP, take your beautiful son to the UK and never look back. You both deserve so much more then what that man has been doing to you. Big hugs to you both!

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