Post # 1
So…we met up with a few vendors this weekend and they all asked us the same question that I swear to Dog, we had the HARDEST time answering.
“What do you two like to do together?”
FI and I both sat there in awkward silence for a while and thought about it…
We seriously…have VERY VERY little in common.
This doesn’t make me question our relationship at all. I love him. I love spending time with him but none of our hobbies really intersect at all.
I love hiking and running and backpacking. He thinks walking to the grocery store is enough of a trek.
I love music and photography. He doesn’t have the patience to master either skill though if I hand him a camera, he’ll take a few shots.
He LOVES beer. Drinking it, making it, judging it. He’s made entire cross country surrounded around beer…I hate beer. It’s like drinking bread. I’d much rather just eat cake.
He LOVES computers and technology. I can’t stand it.
I asked FI about it. “Seriously, what do we have in common?”
“We’re both hilarious.”
“…we get each other.”
That was enough for me. For as little as we have in common, I feel like we really compliment each other and strengthen each other’s weaknesses. We like spending time together and support and embrace each other’s differences even if we don’t totally understand the other’s passion. IE: I may not like beer but I could tell you step by step how to brew and bottle and what qualities it has.
It got me thinking though. Are there any other couples out there who don’t share the same passions and hobbies but still get along? I’m sure they’re out there. Somewhere right?
Post # 3
My SO is WAY more athletic than I am. He surfs, snowboards, and love to just be outside. I’ll go on the occasional bike ride with him, but I am not athletic.
I am a musician. I play 7 instruments, and he can not learn an instrument to save his life. We tried, but it just doesn’t click with him.
None of that matters though, because we still enjoy each others time together, and will do what the other enjoys… or at least try it. If nothing else, we’ll get a good laugh out of it.
Post # 4
@SockJunkie: Mr. 99 and I could not have been more opposite when we met, he’s a rough & tumble, honest to god “aw shucks” country boy, born and raised in the mountains who likes to camp, fish, hunt and shoot….while I was raised in a house that resembled a piano bar from the 1950’s, with people lounging around, drinking martinis, discussing ideas and art and books…reading was more important than eating and a lot of times, I was pulled out of school to travel so my education was something leveled off with tutors from various countries and the experiences I had with my family…
But the attraction was palpable and what we’ve always liked the most about the other, was the support and encouragement to try new things.
With the steady hand and firm insistence of my husband I have, learned to shoot a rifle, raced a car across a lake of ice, learned to brew beer, mead and wine, gone camping in a place with NO RUNNING WATER and had a great time doing it!
With my provocation Mr. 99 has eaten sushi, french cuisine…which he can also read off the menu without help, he can eat with a fish fork, has been to the opera, traveled to Fji, Italy, Ireland, Scotland and Belgium and while he sticks out, he has fun and meets new people and even makes a concerted effort to speak the language…
So yeah, it’s not about what you have in common, but what you bring to each other, and grow together doing.
Post # 5
FI and I have absolutely nothing in common, except for food, but even that we aren’t on the same page (he likes new foods, I like the comfort foods) lol. I don’t think it is a big deal, give you chances to teach each other different things 🙂
Post # 6
@SockJunkie: Haha that totally sounds like me and my future-hubby. I like going to the gym at least 3 times a week, I am super loud and outgoing, I am out with friends a few nights a week.
He is content hanging out at home during the week, does not like physical activity at all, can sit in front of the tv all day. He is obsessed with sports and music – seriously like rainman – can spout off all these random facts.
But we just have so much fun when we are together. We are constantly laughing and it works out well because we balance each other out.
Post # 7
@Nona99: I feel like I comment on every one of your comments. But seriously, that’s an awesome description of your marriage and relationship. And it goes to show how it’s not about the things you have in common, it’s the love you share.
Post # 8
Oh that’s me and my H for sure!!! Sometimes I wonder why we even like each other LOL. We don’t agree on movies, music, TV shows, politics – I can’t imagine what it must be like!
Post # 9
I love this!!! I often think ‘I wish we did more together’ and that he got excited when I suggest a new project for our house rather than finding any excuse to sit at his computer… but the reality is, we’ve both tried getting involved with each others interests and hobbies and it seems to end up with one person getting bored and the other person getting annoyed. So we’ve stopped. We’re both fairly independent people and living in each others pockets just wouldn’t work, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that! It suits us and I don’t think I could have it any other way. Apart from when I could do with someone tall to paint high up and he is otherwise engaged with COD. OK actually, I wouldnt have it any other way APART from the xbox obsession…
I think that, so long as you’re on the same page with regard to the important stuff then why try and force things if they’re not there and at the same time don’t feel like the relationship is a failure because you don’t both like to spend your weekends drinking nasty yeasty beverages-cake is TOTALLY better.
Awesome post 🙂
Post # 10
@SockJunkie: At first my BF and I had NO common hobbies. We had to put serious effort into finding things we liked to do together. Thankfully we found a couple of things and have kind of turned them into mega-hobbies. There’s always things we just do on our own.
“We’re both hilarious.” –love that!
Post # 11
I’m in the same boat. I am a hair product whoring, trashy romance novel reading, pop music listening, make up, cosmos, frills and glitter loving girly girl while he is an irish spring/head and shoulders using, gun loving, science fiction novel reading, beer drinking (and making), NPR listening, outdoorsy manly man. When it comes down to it though, what really matters? We love each other and complement each other well. We get along, get each other, and could not imagine a life without the other one. I think those are the things that matter.
Post # 12
@SockJunkie: FI and I JUST had this very same conversation last night when discussing what to do gor engagement pictures! Uncanny.
Post # 13
@Nona99: Your household growing up sounds like my dream life. Martinis mmmm
@SockJunkie: My fi loves loves beer, I hate it. However when ever he tries a new one, I take a sip in hopes that the taste will grow on me. It doesn’t but I still do it. I think all that matters is that you’re both open to try new things. Not necessarily things that either of you do already either. Things that neither of you have ever done and are trying for the first time together. Keep trying new things and maybe you’ll find something you both love, if not, the experience itself is good for bonding.
Post # 14
DH and I really don’t have that much in common at all. In fact, people are amazed at us because he has a job that keeps him travelling internationally around 9 months out of the year so he’s gone a lot.
I’m a mixed bag. While I’m a photographer (so some would call that “techie”) I’m also a runner, and I like to try lots of new things. I have & ride horses, boxing, sky diving, etc. I love to be at the beach and would spend all day just lounging and reading books.
DH can’t sit still to save his life. He hates going to the beach, although his life revolves around being on a boat and fishing. He doesn’t like to work out. He’s a super picky eater, like meat and potatos guy all the way…which is nuts for someone who spends a good portion of the year travelling to other countries.
Somehow it works. I’ll go fishing with him, and our comprimise is that we’ll take our boat to a sand island where I can sit for the day. Aside from that, there isn’t really anything we DO together.
Post # 15
@Nona99: I think it’s great that you two are able to share you passions while being able to embrace your differences.
@krstino1012: “He is obsessed with sports and music – seriously like rainman – can spout off all these random facts.”
This made me literally laugh out loud. Sounds like my guy when we start talking about poker or when he tries to explain sports to me…just the most random stuff comes out of his mouth. I’ll be the first to admit, my eyes do glaze over a bit sometimes…
Thank you so much everyone for your responses! It’s so nice to hear that we are not the only ones out there who are from different sides of the spectrum.
I guess it didn’t help that two out of the three vendors we met with are husband/wife teams who have just about EVERYTHING in common and couldn’t comprehend the fact that I would go on a two week backpacking trip without my SO.
I love hearing your stories! Thank you again!
Post # 16
I love this post! My FI and I have very little in common. He loves animals and loves being outdoors. I’m happy indoors with a book. He dislikes reading. But I can’t imagine being with anyone else 🙂