- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Hey y’all! I’m new here, but my ‘wedding’ is less than a month and a half away and I’m kind of stressing out… bad. I don’t want to give the long, drawn out story, so I’ll try to make this short as possible!
This is my second marriage. I got married young, and for the wrong reasons (baby), to a guy who definitely didn’t deserve me after cheating multiple times, and just an all around bad relationship. I was young and dumb. I’m still young, but I’ve wised up… or learned my lesson 🙂 We have been separated/divorced for 3 years. I met a WONDERFUL man, actually my mom’s then best friend’s son. He has shown me what true love is, and has taken in my 6 year old son as his own. My mom and his mom were BEST FRIENDS, that is how we met. After we started getting serious, his mom started causing problems. Jealousy over another woman coming in and taking her son’s attention away. She isn’t in a great marriage, and always leaned on my fiance for support. I always LOVED her. I actually thought one of the best things about being with him was how awesome his family was. Booooy, was I in for a huge surprise.
Soon as he put the ring on my finger, she was mad because he changed the proposal date and didn’t tell her. Then she was mad because she was the ‘last’ to see the ring. When I talked to her moments after getting engaged in the most BEAUTIFUL way I could imagine, first thing she said was “Well I guess we’re stuck together now, huh?” I was shocked and it kind of brought me down from my high a little but I took it with a grain of salt. Since then, she and the rest of his family has been TERRIBLE to me! They never really had any issues before, but soon as he proposed, things changed. It has really broken my heart, because I love and respected this family so much and when he proposed, I wasn’t just thinking about how I get to spend my life with him, but how my son and I were gaining such an amazing family. SLAP RIGHT IN MY FACE!
When we first started planning the wedding, we knew we wanted it to be very small. Just immediate family and very very close friends. Maybe 15-20 guests at the most. We wanted to go to Charleston, SC and get married on a rooftop at night. Very intimate ceremony with the ones we love most. Well, his brother pitched a fit because the date I chose didn’t work for him. He had a race to be at. He actually told my fiance that he needed to tell me NO, I couldn’t get married in Charleston. We live in Charlotte, NC. 3 hour drive. We were going to put everyone up in a hotel and everything for the night. But he had a race to be at Sunday (this is a Saturday night). Then his mom started telling everyone I planned it that way on purpose so his bro couldn’t be there. Never in a million years would I think of that. Nor, did I have a reason to. So… I changed it. I said, fine… we’ll get married in Charlotte. Same date. And asked his parents if we could get married at their BEAUTIFUL huge house on the water in Charlotte. Oh she was soooooo happy…pssssh, liar. She then went and complained to my fiance that there were going to be people she didn’t know using her bathrooms !!! I had HAD it! It didn’t matter what I did, it was obvious they were LOOKING for reasons to make it hard. So, I asked my fiance how he felt about it just being us. It’s about US anyway, not them. If they can’t support us, then why should we base our whole day around them? So he agreed, just us… myself, my fiance, my son, my sister, her husband and her daughter who is a toddler, my niece. We were back in Charleston. Even went one weekend and found a place that would have been perfect. But, then everyone started making a big deal out of it how upset they were they couldn’t come (my family). His family, at this point, was completely out of the picture…. he said he didn’t want them there which is another reason we chose to elope, that way NO ONE was there. Well, my family made us feel bad. They said they wanted us to be happy, they just wanted to experience it with us. So I thought, it wouldn’t be too bad to have a very intimate ceremony with just us, them a few friends. He agreed. So we changed it to my brother in laws farm. BEAUTIFUL rolling country and we could do ANYTHING we wanted! Everything has been great… except in the past couple of weeks, his mom, who by the way told him she hates me more than anyone she’s ever hated, has been all wishy washy about wanting to be at the wedding that she doesn’t support. It caused my fiance and I to have a fight, because I didn’t want them there, after all the trouble they have caused us by thinking of only themselves. It’d be one thing if they actually supported our love, but instead, I’m HATED for no reason…. Anyway, I agreed to invite them to the wedding. Well, this caused issues with MY family because my mom and her are now enemies. Amazing how a 42 year old and 52 year old can act like high school brats. We basically told them to get over it. Well, my sister, aka Maid of Honor, was throwing us a Honeymoon shower so we can actually have a honeymoon. Due to recent financial struggles, we’re not able to even go anywhere for a weekend at this point. So, the honeymoon shower was to get money as gifts instead of toasters and dishes, or whatever, since we already have all that. Well, I asked my sister to invite the evil Mother-In-Law and evil SIL to the shower and she flipped. Said SHE was throwing the shower and SHE was paying for it and SHE didn’t want them there. I explained to her, in order to PLEASE let my life be a little easier, to PLEASE ivite them! They WON’T come! Nope, wasn’t having it. So now my sister and I have had a major falling out. So, my fiance and I are back to eloping and nothing is going to change my mind this time. I’m heartbroken and tired of how people are treating us. This should be such a happy time for us and everyone is being selfish and inconsiderate of our needs.
Now, here we sit, less than 6 weeks away from our wedding… and we have nothing. I don’t want to extend it, because the date is special to me. We have nothing planned, no money, and it’s just ARGH! We want to get married somewhere beautiful, and private. No audience. I thought of the beach… but don’t know of any beaches that are “desserted” or private near us. We’re open to going anywhere from the VA coast to the GA coast. I don’t know what to do… I’m so lost and I am so close to having an emotional breakdown. I want to create a beautiful memory where I can wear my simple yet pretty dress and marry the man of my dreams with the most important little man in my entire life standing beside me. I can’t think of anything more perfect. Just need the location to match it 🙂
ANY ideas?! Sorry this got longer than I wanted, would love for any advice or thoughts! Thanks so much y’all! 🙂 I’m excited to meet everyone!