We made an etiquette mistake….

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
891 posts
Busy bee

I’m a bit confused – you got Tony’s STD?  Is Tony getting married and sent your FI a STD even though he was invited to your wedding but only the bachelor party (to which he no-showed)?


Post # 6
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

weatherbug:  I dont’ think it’s a big deal.

While you shouldn’t really invite people to the bach party who aren’t comign to the wedding, men do this pretty frequently.  They tend to be less stressed about the etiquette of it all. 

I would leave your wedding alone, don’t send an invite.  It’s not like he actually ATTENDED the bachelor party.  

For his wedding, I’d probably end up RSVPing with regrets. 

Post # 7
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I would go with your plan of playing dumb and acting like he was invited all along.

Post # 8
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

I think since he no-showed to the bachelor party, he doesn’t deserve an invite. Sorry if it’s harsh, but so is not showing up to a party you RSVP’d “Yes” for. 

Post # 9
4762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It’s fine- my husband actually invited a few guys to his bachelor party that we didn’t invite to the wedding. I told him not to do it and said it was rude, but he said guys don’t care and they wouldn’t even want to go to the wedding (I hardly knew them), but would be all about a weekend in Vegas. I just wouldn’t say anything, and go to their wedding if you want to. It doesn’t have to all be even.

Post # 2
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

So you haven’t ever met or heard of this guy, and he totally no showed to the bachelor party? No, I’d leave it alone. If he happened to bring it up ever (which would be extremely rude) your fiance just will have to tell him you had a limited guest list blah blah blah. 

Post # 5
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think you need to invite him. I’d have FI call or text and just casually mention that it looks like there was a mixup and he didn’t get a formal invitation but that he IS invited. Then re-send the invite with maybe a little note like “sorry this is so late, hope you can come!”.  Even if you don’t want the guy to come or don’t care or think he won’t show up, I think it’s worse if he doesn’t get an invite.

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