Post # 1
Counting on the “60 percent” rule of thumb for attendees, my FI and I invited more people than we should have to our mini destination wedding. We were hoping to have between 100 and 150 people (max), and invited about 250. Based on our RSVP count, we are expecting about 210 people at our wedding. At $70 per plate, this is nearly $10,000 EXTRA dollars, making our wedding around $35,000 total. Neither FI or I have the money to cover the difference.. What do we do? I know we were stupid- mainly me- and FI is barely speaking to me. He just applied for a personal loan, which has a high interest rate. Our families are pretty tapped out, although my dad is going to try to help out a little more.
This is NOT how I want to start our lives together. I just want to cancel the big fancy wedding day and be done with it. Any advice or suggestions appreciated.
Post # 3
Oh gosh, you’re right.. this is bad. It’s horribly rude to uninvite people. When is your wedding? If it’s May 7, 2014, didn’t you send out invites a little early?
Post # 4
Is postponing and having a smaller wedding a possibility?
Post # 5
Hindsight is 20/20 so don’t keep beating yourself up about it. Can you cancel it and just have your parents/siblings come? I would cancel it if I were in this position rather than take out a high interest loan.
Post # 6
@Hope_To_Be_MrsLovebug: You still have close to a year, could either or both of you get a part time job?
Also how do you have RSVP’s for a wedding a year away? You haven’t even actually invited anyone yet.
Post # 7
I was going to suggest getting a part time job as well. You could also look into an interest free credit card.
Post # 8
Definitely get a part-time job, and PRAY that a bunch of people will flake out between now and a year from now!
Post # 9
I’m guessing that your wedding is closer than May 7, 2014 ? Can you make some changes to your menu? Cut back other things-Less an hour or two for the photographer, get a smaller cake? Less flowers, or more filler flowers? DIY some items?
Post # 10
Maybe you can work with your catering company a little and put the food prices down..I really don’t know what else to say…
We are also having a destination wedding and expecting to have around 100 ppl…But with a “little” help of my ILs our guest list went up to 250 ppl…and I am afraid that around 200 will show up and we will be screwed…We didn’t send invitations yet..but I don’t know how to tell them to remove some people from the list…Our cost pp is around $400..and every extra will cause additional stress..
Post # 11
By inviting them you took that risk. Now you need to just push forward. Cut any costs you can, earn money how you can, and borrow as you can and move forward. It would be horribly rude to disinvite or postpone. You made the choice to invite these folks, they are excited to celebrate with you. I know the whole ” you can not expect gifts thing” but you will receive some cash from all these folks and that can go directly to paying off any debt you have to incur. If any of these invitees are due to in law or parental invites, sit your folks down and ask that they help Out somehow. They can also find some additional income to cover their invitees. Good luck.
Post # 12
If you’re having a destination wedding, you likely will continue to have a significant number of regrets. What percentage of your RSVPs have come in thus far? (I’m presuming that the wedding date associated with your post is not correct, since you obviously would not have sent invitations this far in advance of a May 2014 wedding.)
Post # 13
Don’t cut people, cut costs. Change your catering options, change your venue if you need to. Cut some flowers from the floral budget, hire a cheaper DJ, etc. Having a wedding on a budget is possible.
Post # 14
Let this be a lesson to other Bees — only invite the number you can afford and can fit in your venue. You never know how many will show up.
OP, agree with pp on cutting other stuff from the wedding — flowers, drop DJ for ipod, etc to help make up the difference. Also look into part time work.
Sorry you’re experiencing this…
Post # 15
I’m assuming the invites already went out because it’s a destination wedding and so she sent them out far in advance, possibly a bit too early. Unless she sent out STDs and people have responded positively to that so far?
Can you talk to your venue and see if you can do something cheaper? Like $50/head?
Can you switch your venue to a cheaper place?
Can either of you get a 2nd job for a few months to make up the extra?
Post # 16
Cut costs everywhere! Just be thankful I suppose that your venue can at least physically accommodate the extra guests.
Can you choose a cheaper meal pp? Is there an open bar? Restrict what you serve. Cut everything that you haven’t already paid for.