We might have to postpone the wedding

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

As someone who rushed her first wedding and then was disappointed in all the things it couldn’t be because we didn’t wait and put in the time & effort, I’d say cool your jets. What’s the rush, really? A year is not that long. 

Post # 4
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@plainjane115:  Part of being an adult, is sometimes waiting until things are right to do the things that you want. I take it you are Jewish and your fiance is converting so that you two can both share in what is a BEAUTIFUL history and religion and you can start off your marriage in a truly religious home and be equally yoked from the beginning. THAT, I find so much more beautiful than postponing because you don’t have the money or postponing because you want to get married in that pretty building. He wants to share a jewish wedding with his jewish wife. Look at it that way.

This world is FULL of instant gratification, but you know what is so much more gratifying? Knowing that you did things in the way God intended it, no matter how long it took. It’s going to happen. It’s like helping him through school. Immerse yourself in that until it’s over. Maybe take him to places that will enrich the experience with him. You’ll fall in love even more and that wedding date, when you are both standing under that chupah (excuse the spelling, I’m not Jewish) and when you can have that Ketubah signed…

it’s going to be beautiful. So wait it out sweetie. The prize is at the end.

Post # 5
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Just wait. A year flies by, and you will have nothing to regret.

Post # 6
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@plainjane115:  What about getting married at a courthouse “officially,” but then still having your big wedding with a rabbi once he is converted? You don’t necessarily even have to tell other people about the fact that you were actually married earlier, and frankly they shouldn’t care anyway. That’s just a thought, since you seem like you are really ready to take that step but also want to have a traditional Jewish wedding.

Whatever you choose is up to you, but I would also say to wait. I am an incredibly impatient person, and usually when I want something, I want it NOW. But I’ve been working on becoming more patient and have found that it makes everything that much better in the end. If you wait, you will have the wedding that you want, and it really doesn’t change the relationship you and your FI have now anyway.

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

Post # 7
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@plainjane115:  the conversion process takes about a year.

do you need to have your rabbi marry you?  many reform rabbi’s will perform interfaith weddings. 

FI and I had to find a reform rabbi to marry us because we wanted to marry before sundown on a saturday night.

judaism is matralineal.

because YOU are jewish, your children are jewish no matter what. 

if your husband was jewish and you were not and then had children before you converted, the children would have to go to the mikvah to convert.

 

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