We need a new acronym for RSVP, bc apparently people dont know what it means!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@xoxovmarie:  If it`s past your rsvp date, contact them in person or on the phone and let them know that if they are still unable to give a definite yes or no, you are considering them a no, as you need final numbers for the caterer.

Post # 5
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

LOL…for nextime…Please advise if you will attend: Yes/ No

Post # 6
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@xoxovmarie:  Just say the words

Having not heard from you, we are considering you a no for the wedding. We will miss you.

Post # 7
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@julies1949:  +1. Totally let them know if they don’t tell you either way, you’ll have to consider them a no.

Post # 9
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@xoxovmarie:  …text them the work YUKON

YoU Komin Or Not?

Post # 10
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

@xoxovmarie:  omg I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I think if people are beating around the bush, just tell them they’re time is up and you’re unable to save a seat for them. Sorry, but if theyre unable to give you an answer, youre unable to feed them. It’s not fair to you. Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

@xoxovmarie:  I will never understand why people seem to have so much trouble with the RSVP card. I’ve had like 4 or 5 people call and be like well we are going to come but do we need to send back the card? 

YES you need to send back the card! I mean it could not be easier I addressed and stamped the envelope for you, literally all you need to do it drop it in the mail! 

If I just let everybody call me I’d be off on numbers, not have the catering correct and probobly leave somebody off. 

You just need to call those people and leave a message saying “We are taking your lack of a reply as a no. We are you sorry you cannot make it and will miss you!” and be done with it. I’d prob also call the people I heard are not coming and just ask “We heard you would not be able to make it but your RSVP card says you will be coming, is there some kind of a mistake?” I’d rather know than pay for a plate for somebody not coming. 

Good luck with your wedding!! 18 days, omg how exciting 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I feel your pain – I had several people send back their cards completely blank (am I supposed to intuit whether you are coming and what you would like to eat for dinner?).

I also had a lot of people on FI’s side call or email my MIL and tell her they were coming…and luckily she told most of them they still needed to send the card in because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to keep track of everything.

The thing that didn’t help was that my MIL emailed the rehearsal dinner invitation about 2 weeks after the wedding invites went out, so a lot of those people thought that if they RSVP’d to her, it automatically meant that they didn’t have to respond to me. Wrong! If I could do it over again I would have managed that timing a lot more closely.

Post # 13
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m glad e RSVPs are going to my moms house so I can respond to in person RSVPs with “my mom still needs the card, please send it to her.” I feel like it’s less likely to be responded to with a “but you know I’m coming!” response. 

Post # 14
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@xoxovmarie:  Oh I can understand the frustration!  Sorry you’re having to deal with this.  I had the best results from directly calling people; it puts them on the spot and they have to answer. Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

For the people who haven’t responded, send them a message letting them know you need a definite answer about whether they are coming or not and that unless you hear from them by (Thursday/Friday?) you’re going to assume they are a “no”.

Post # 16
Member
6888 posts
Busy Beekeeper

That is so rude. However, there is usually a good deal of buffer between RSVP date and the date you really do have to give a firm guarantee. Generally, it’s possible  to underestimate by a handful and still be able to add last minute, whereas once you give the number you are obligated to pay for that meal. 

I would also try to track them down at home, if they have a landline, or at work.   Some people don’t check voicemails, annoyingly.

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