Post # 1
This is what I woke up to this morning.
So, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 4 years now and all of a sudden he texted me today and told me that we needed to talk when he gets back in a couple of days and I’m really worried about what he might have to tell me and I’m feeling sick to my stomach and I almost cried today at work thinking about this.
Of course , I called him right after that and asked him what he meant, but he says I’m on the road and I’ll call you later but so far I haven’t heard a word from him. I thought everything was going well and I find myself having trouble sleeping.
I mean, we have our arguments over the years but it was all resolved in a matter of minutes. I admit, his methodical approach to stuff does make me feel like a bit of a lazy person a bit, but isn’t the quirks the most we love about our significant others.
It feels so hopeless and crushing and it is awful to be right in the middle of it. I don’t know if something changed and he knew what it was.
I’m so uncomfortable even thinking about what’s gonna happen next.
Post # 2
Thats wrong of him to leave you hanging and anxious for days. What is the point in making you worried in advance and then not come out with it.
Post # 3
Leaving someone in that sort of cliffhanger, for days. What a douche.
Post # 4
I’d say you dump him first and start looking for a new apartment if you moved in with him or terminate the lease.
Post # 5
Wow. Not cool. I would be pissed and be like, “Yeah we do.” It’s rude and inconsiderate to leave you hanging like this, and I wouldn’t tolerate it.
Stay strong bee!
Post # 6
What he has to say may not be bad but the way he’s handling it is childish and gives reason for concern.
If he really wanted to talk in person when he gets back then he should have just waited till then to bring anything up. But ignoring your attempts to communicate…that is not fair to you.
Post # 7
Man, I would have to write him back like “What the fuck, dude!?”
That’s not cool that he would let you stew about it for several days rather than just keeping it to himself until he got back.
Post # 8
Have totally gotten this text from my dude while he was on a business trip. It didn’t mean anything. He called the night after he sent that text though. Apparently “we need to talk” didn’t hold the same negative connotation for him that it did for me. I sent him like 3 follow up texts (because I have terrible anxiety) after he sent it.
I think the reason “we needed to talk” was him asking what kind of souvenir I wanted from his trip.
Hope it’s something equally as meaningless for you.
Post # 9
Great point. We forget that men have their own language at times. Although, I can pretty much promise that if OP were to announce “we need to talk”, his anxiety levels would shoot up. Just for different reasons.
If this *is* leading up to a serious relationship talk, I agree with the others. The hit and run stunt was a real jerk move, very passive aggressive. I can’t help but wonder if he’s always like that.
Post # 10
sassy411 : Exactly, maybe people in relationships don’t ‘get it’ sometimes in terms of what comments like ‘we need to talk’ mean to their other halves…
BUT, if your SO rang you concerned after you said that, you would do all you could to reassure them that if it was nothing serious even if you were busy. This has not been the case (as it was with the souvenir or whatever).
Post # 11
greenivy : Wow! I hope he is just being a typical guy and not meaning to worry but actually wants to talk about something really tiny and silly. If he is going to end it with you he has dealt with this in the most assholey way possible. Big hugs bee.
Post # 12
You are absolutely right. He could have and should have shown some sensitivity toward OP, once she made it clear that she was feeling anxious.
Either a jerk move or complete cement head.
Post # 13
Innerdonught : oh I agree. He didn’t handle it well at all, but it could also be just what it is at face value; he really was busy and couldn’t talk.
I’m usually of the “hope for the best, prepare for the worst” mentality. I hope it’s nothing, but, OP, be ready for it to be something. Start making whatever preparations you need to cut ties.
Post # 14
I had this happen and was at the other end. My SO was busy with something and I told him to let me know when he had some time to talk so I could have his undivided attention. I just wanted to vent about my difficult day at work without him getting distracted, but he took it as negative. Now I always make sure to give context. “Please let me know when you have some time to talk, I want to get my rough day at work off my chest while having your undivided attention for a few minutes.”
Post # 15
ren89 : yeah but a simple “it’s nothing bad” would have sufficed
its a dick move.
I hate the idea that OP is biting her fingernails hoping things are going smoothly with somebody this insensitive or unable to realize he’s causing stress.