We need to talk.

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Thats wrong of him to leave you hanging and anxious for days. What is the point in making you worried in advance and then not come out with it.

Jerk move 

Post # 3
Member
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Leaving someone in that sort of cliffhanger, for days. What a douche.

Post # 4
Member
9 posts
Newbee

I’d say you dump him first and start looking for a new apartment if you moved in with him or terminate the lease.

Post # 5
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

Wow. Not cool. I would be pissed and be like, “Yeah we do.” It’s rude and inconsiderate to leave you hanging like this, and I wouldn’t tolerate it.

Stay strong bee!

 

Post # 6
Member
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

What he has to say may not be bad but the way he’s handling it is childish and gives reason for concern.

If he really wanted to talk in person when he gets back then he should have just waited till then to bring anything up. But ignoring your attempts to communicate…that is not fair to you. 

Post # 7
Member
2690 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Man, I would have to write him back like “What the fuck, dude!?”

That’s not cool that he would let you stew about it for several days rather than just keeping it to himself until he got back.

Post # 8
Member
726 posts
Busy bee

Have totally gotten this text from my dude while he was on a business trip. It didn’t mean anything. He called the night after he sent that text though. Apparently “we need to talk” didn’t hold the same negative connotation for him that it did for me. I sent him like 3 follow up texts (because I have terrible anxiety) after he sent it. 

I think the reason “we needed to talk” was him asking what kind of souvenir I wanted from his trip. 

Hope it’s something equally as meaningless for you. 

Post # 9
Member
5541 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

ren89 :  

Great point.  We forget that men have their own language at times.  Although, I can pretty much promise that if OP were to announce “we need to talk”, his anxiety levels would shoot up.  Just for different reasons.

If this *is* leading up to a serious relationship talk, I agree with the others.  The hit and run stunt was a real jerk move, very passive aggressive.  I can’t help but wonder if he’s always like that.

Post # 10
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

sassy411 :  Exactly, maybe people in relationships don’t ‘get it’ sometimes in terms of what comments like ‘we need to talk’ mean to their other halves…

BUT, if your SO rang you concerned after you said that, you would do all you could to reassure them that if it was nothing serious even if you were busy. This has not been the case (as it was with the souvenir or whatever).

Jerk move.

Post # 11
Member
4978 posts
Honey bee

greenivy :  Wow! I hope he is just being a typical guy and not meaning to worry but actually wants to talk about something really tiny and silly. If he is going to end it with you he has dealt with this in the most assholey way possible. Big hugs bee.

Post # 12
Member
5541 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Innerdonught :  

You are absolutely right.  He could have and should have shown some sensitivity toward OP, once she made it clear that she was feeling anxious.

Either a jerk move or complete cement head.

Post # 13
Member
726 posts
Busy bee

Innerdonught :  oh I agree. He didn’t handle it well at all, but it could also be just what it is at face value; he really was busy and couldn’t talk. 

I’m usually of the “hope for the best, prepare for the worst” mentality. I hope it’s nothing, but, OP, be ready for it to be something. Start making whatever preparations you need to cut ties. 

Post # 14
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

I had this happen and was at the other end. My SO was busy with something and I told him to let me know when he had some time to talk so I could have his undivided attention. I just wanted to vent about my difficult day at work without him getting distracted, but he took it as negative. Now I always make sure to give context. “Please let me know when you have some time to talk, I want to get my rough day at work off my chest while having your undivided attention for a few minutes.”

Post # 15
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

ren89 :  yeah but a simple “it’s nothing bad” would have sufficed

 

its a dick move. 

 

I hate the idea that OP is biting her fingernails hoping things are going smoothly with somebody this insensitive or unable to realize he’s causing stress.

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