We never have sex!!!

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
8708 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Have you tried talking to him?

“Hey, why haven’t we had sex? What’s wrong and how can we fix it?

Post # 5
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

maybe he’s just not in the mood?

Post # 6
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Mrsdickinson:  ..ok…so…twice in two weeks, you just got married, a lot of women get the post wedding blues, maybe your guy has a little post-marriage malaise….take him out for a night on the town, go have some fun and get back to real life….cause nothings changed, you’re just married people now.

Post # 7
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Mrsdickinson:  Is there something that could be bothering him or making him depressed (i.e. financial troubles, stress at work, etc)?  I think your next option, if things don’t improve through communication, is counseling.  Hopefully things will start to turn around for you two.  Best of luck.

Post # 9
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Did you guys live together before marriage? How were things before as far as frequency (were you happy then or did he have excuses back then too?) was he ever the one to initiate or always you? Sometimes I think we think sex will improve w marriage but in reality it doesn’t (for most ) and without communicatOn can get worse 

Post # 10
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Mrsdickinson: If this has anything to do with your weight (which you mentioned in your OP) why don’t you ask him about it? in fact, ask him about it anyway? you guys do not sound like you’re on the same page about a lot of things. 

Post # 11
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Mrsdickinson:  I think he needs to give you a better answer than, “I just don’t want to.” That’s not acceptable and won’t allow the two of you to fix the problem together.

Post # 12
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Sea Ranch Lodge

Sounds like there is something else going on besides just sex…

Did anything else happen recently that might be causing this? Change of jobs? Move? Etc.?

You need to have a serious talk with him and get down to whatever the real root cause is.

Post # 13
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Mrsdickinson:  I hear ya! We had that problem but after a serious of frustrated discussions we figured out that he’s physically and emotionally stressed at work, and he literally didn’t have the energy to have sex all the time anymore. Over the course of our relationship it went from at least 7 times a week down to only once or twice a month. It’s getting better now that we’re married though. Speak to him gently about it and he’ll come around. 

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