Post # 1
My closest friend is currently deployed in Afghanistan and we are planning the wedding around his leave. He is like a brother to me (my mom calls him “her white son” which is mortifying for everyone). He’s even been looking through stuff and sharing opinions on various wedding things (which is hilarious btw) to make me feel more excited.
He says he’s 90% with the date and thats as close as we can guess before June. While I’m planning I keep getting these flashes of him not being there (he has had to miss many other weddings b/c of obligations, last minute leave changes, deployment etc) and I feel incredibly sad. My father is still on the fence about walking me down the aisle (its a religious ceremony and my father is a hardcore atheist) and my friend has offered to step in, so when I see the day in my mind he’s a huge part of it.
Anyway, I wanted to reach out and see if there are any other people here in the same boat and how it’s working for you.
PS On a sidenote, I live in NYC where talking about the military is one of a very small handful of things that makes people uncomfortable so I’ve had to hide all these feelings.
Post # 3
Yeah that’s kind of how it works unfortunately. They won’t even know, FOR SURE, when they are leaving until their asses are literally on a plane. And they certainly can’t call and tell you when they’re on their way home. It really sucks. But 90% is pretty good =]. Especially 7 months in advance! So i’d take it and run with it.
I really, REALLY hope this works out for you. A friend of mine planned his wedding around his brother’s sub deployment and they shipped the poor guy out THREE DAYS before the wedding. It was so sad =(. But my husband totally got the slot he wanted and was home for my college graduation, so I hope the latter is true for you also!
When i lived in Seattle, it was very awkward to tell people “oh my husband’s in the Army!” because it wasn’t super well received by some folks so I just kept mum mostly =( I met a really awesome B&B keeper who denounced the military to our faces. Awkward!
Post # 4
i’m sure this sucks knowing there’s nothing you can do. i really hope it works out for you!!!
Post # 5
My in-laws used to constantly tell me I’d have to get used to the “hurry up and wait” mentality- now that my husband is a Naval Officer I totally get it. We came home from our honeymoon to submit some of his stuff for OCS because he had to leave the next month, he didn’t end up leaving for another year. Same thing with our first PCS. 😛
I’m sure it will all work out, the trick is to learn to go with the flow 🙂
Post # 6
This really sucks. It’s really hard to plan around a deployment. It’s nearly impossible to plan around a deployment. Fiance was deployed last year. He was 90% sure he’d be home on leave in October. He came home on leave in January.
If the leave is very close to the supposed coming home date, could you move your date to when he will most likely be home for good?
Post # 7
Sadly, he’ll be coming home in late fall by which point we will have already moved to another city. MrF originally wanted to get married next winter but I didnt think I could handle the move, starting school, and planning a wedding from a distance. Additionally, depending what happens with work/school we may need to be married for insurance, housing, or financial aid.
I thought I was used to this by now, but I guess not.
Thank you all for your thoughts and support. Even if he has to miss the wedding MrF and I have talked about what we can do to have a really good small celebration while he is around.
Post # 8
That sucks so bad, but maybe you can get wedding insurance and move the date if need be? Good luck, and our prayers are with you for him to make it to your big day!