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Buying a house is stressful, don't be so hard on yourself. You will find out at the inspection if there is anything to worry about and a good realtor should put in the contract that you can get out of it for almost anything you want so don't worry. We ended up buying $10,000 - $15,000 more than we had planned too. We are going to have to cut back on expenses a bit but nothing horrible. I do hate that we can't afford the mortgage on one salary though.
I think it's probably normal to freak out over a huge purchase like that. I've never bought a home--DH owns the house we live in (we're going to try to refinance it together soon, though). But I've bought 2 new cars, and both of those purchases scared the heck out of me.
House buying is stressful and it does feel like you sign your life away, doesn't it? I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything will work out, because this house sounds like a good deal. If there is anything wrong, you still can get out of the contract, as MissAsB said. Also, foreclosures can be a bit tricky. If this deal doesn't work out, you just keep looking, that's all. Good luck!
Aside from getting married, buying a house has been the most stressful thing I have ever done, and the paperwork involved in marriage PALES in comparison to the mountains of paperwork involved in purchasing a home.
You ARE traumatized simply because it IS traumatic. :) It is perfectly NORMAL for you to have feelings such as "Oh. My. Gosh. What HAVE we DONE!!??" Almost everyone feels that way when he or she purchases his or her first home.
I don't know your specific circumstances. However, from my understanding of home buying, based on having purchased two homes (one I had built with a builder, and one DH and I purchased together after our marriage), you must already have met with a bank and have been pre-qualified up to a certain purchase amount, and you've likely discussed your purchasing ability in detail with your realtor. It's likely that you have not submitted an offer that is higher than your ability to afford. (Although, I should note, banks often do not take into consideration what you personally really CAN afford based on your lifestyle vs. what their calculations/formulas tell you you can afford based on your income.)
I don't know if you are a person of faith or not. However, if you are like me, I pray when I move forward with big decisions (and some small ones, too.) I realize you may not be someone who believes in that, and, if you don't, I respect your right to believe whatever and however you wish. If it were me, however, I would pray that, if my DH and I were supposed to have this house, that our offer would be accepted, and, if we were not meant to have it, that our offer would not be accepted. That would help me, personally, find peace in the midst of this turmoil. Again, that may not be something that you would have any interest in doing, but I thought I would mention it.
I hope all goes well for you!
Don't feel bad! Buying a house was equal parts exciting and terrifying for me. FI and I also ended up spending around 10-15k more than we had intended to, but it really doesn't make a huge difference in the cost of your monthy payment if you are doing a 30yr fixed rate loan.
After you get an offer accepted you will feel a lot better. Taking the initial plunge into signing your life away is a scary thing, but once you acclimate yourself to the idea of owning a home you will calm down and enjoy the process a little more. I was much more scared when we made the offer than I was at the closing. It gets easier!
We just put in an offer on Monday (and a counter yesterday) on our first home so I totally understand. I haven't freaked out too much yet but I'm sure I will once we are under contract and then again when we close.
I think it is normal to stress a bit about such a big purchase but I would try to not freak out so much about $10K. Honestly, that will be a relatively minor increase in the monthly payments so unless you were already stretching yourself super thin, I doubt it will be a problem.
Hope everything works out! It sounds like you guys are getting a great deal!
Totally normal! Everyone reacts to this process differently. Usually with couples one person will be having a mini breakdown while the other one is totally calm.
I do this for a living and even I'm terrified to buy our next place!
My whole life, I heard things like 'buying a car is a huge decision' and 'a house is the biggest purchase you will ever make' (ok, it probably is.).
So when I went to buy my car last year, I suddenly was silent and couldnt bring myself to talk or show any emotion at all...I just sort of shut down! All I could hear in my head was...once you sign you can never reverse it! and all sorts of crazy things like that.
I think there is soooo much hype towards big purchases when in reality, there is a way out and you can fix a mistake if you make one. The paper work is intimidating, all the dollar signs waving in front of your face can make you sick, and thoughs of 'what if! what if!!!' are flying through your brain...yes, it is ok to start to cry! I totally get it. You are not nuts!
FI and I just bought a house in August and we live here now and at first it was a lot to handle and a lot of people were like wow you bought a house ( I am 23 and we werent engaged yet) the first few months may be stressful when you are figuring out bills... today I just found out we have a leak and our water bill jumped up from 60 to 225 dollars... lets say I was freaking out just a little bit... buying a house is a ton of responsibility... but once all of the kinks are figured out it is so nice to come home to YOUR house and be able to decorate it and keep it clean... or throw stuff around and not have to worry about someone getting mad if your clothes are not folded...
Everyone, thanks for your kind comments. I feel a little more normal now :)
I will let everyone know how it turns out...we find out if the offer was accept or not on Thursday at 9pm. Eek.
Good luck and remember that you can back out as long as you made your offer contingent on inspection. If going a little higher than you originally wanted means that you are getting a more perfect home then it's money well spent!
For us, we definitely spent more than we 'wanted' to, but it would have been pointless for us to buy something smaller or in a worse neighborhood where we didn't want to live. So we accepted the fact that we will need both salaries to pay the mortgage and had to put more $ down, but I can honestly say it was totally worth it to be where we are in such a nice place.
I'm so thankful you posted this. 
I am in the EXACT same boat as you. We are under contract on a foreslosure right now. I know that it's a good thing, and that we are saving money by purchasing instead of renting, but still! The whole "30 year mortgage" thing kinda makes me freak out. We had our inspection this past Saturday...and, up until then, that made me still feel like we had an "out" if we needed it. When I found out that it passed the home inspection with only a few MINOR things that needed to be addressed (<$300 worth of repairs), that's when I started to hyperventilate. DH reminded me this was something that we have been praying about and had decided on when we were thinking rationally, and I immediately calmed down.
With that said, it's a GOOD thing. It will be worth it to have our own little place that we can call ours.
Good luck! It seems like you are really getting a great bargain. Congrats!!
lol, I told FMIL that I was much more emotional and freaked out about the house than about getting engaged. Getting engaged was just the natural progression of things. Buying a house is SO ABSURD to me!
I panicked when we purchased our first home too. It was totally unexpected too because I picked out the house and loved it. It was below what we agreed to spend but it was still such a huge purchase that I freaked. When closing came around I was no longer anxious- I was super excited and I'm sure you will be too when that time comes around.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
Totally normal, especially since your process is moving quite quickly. the first time we went under contract, Mr. LK and I were totally overwhelmed with unexpected emotions. The home buying pricess is such an emotional roller coaster.
@rubyroad10: Good luck! I hope you get great news today! Let us know what happens. :)
@rubyroad10: It's a stressful time! We put an offer on a house on a Saturday and finally heard back on the following Thursday! You can do it... think happy thoughts :)
I immediately freaked out when we were signing the paper work for our offer as well! I was signing but at the same time I was thinking: is this really a good idea?
I guess the plus side for us is that the negotiations were really rocky. Things were not going well so we decided to start looking at other houses in case our offer fell through. We saw like 6 houses in one go and I didn't like ANY of them. I kept thinking back to the house that we had that the offer on.
Fortunately, we reached an agreement during negotiations and I felt better about our offer once I realized we did it because of good research and because we really liked that house best.
We're still waiting. Cross your fingers that tomorrow will be the day because FI is driving me NUTS over this house!
When my sister and BIL closed on their house his reaction was to throw up in their lawyers bathroom! I know if/when we buy a house I'm liable to cry and or barf because I find that stuff intimidating as hell. I hope it all works out for you!
@moosey: Throwing up is more like it! hahah
We bought a house a few years back and the whole thing is just one big magical hair removal session ( aka ripping out your hair). You may get lucky and land the first house you put an offer on and have everything inspect well and go perfect, and that is awesome! Don't get discouraged. You can do this!
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Ok, so here goes:FI and I have only seriously started looking at houses in the past month. We were trying to squirrel away as much money as possible so that we can have a ton of money to throw at whatever home we liked. We met with our real estate agents for the first time on Saturday, and by yesterday (on MARDI GRAS DAY here), we put an offer on a house. I lost it. The paperwork was intimidating, and I was convinced that we were going to be committing to something we couldn't afford. FI, on the other hand, was cool as a cucumber.
A little background on the home- we found it online before it was even listed in the MLS. We called about it, but the realtors said it wasn't listed. FI lives close by, so we drove by the house anyway, and sure enough there was a sign in front. The street is on a cul de sac so not many people would pass by it. Anyway, the listing agent hadn't gotten around to posting it yet because of the Mardi Gras holiday, so when we saw that the home was priced $35/sq ft BELOW comparables in the area, we knew we had to act on it. It was a foreclosed home, though, so we had expected it to be in disrepair. NOT SO. HOLY CRAP this house is incredible. But it's also about $10,000 higher than we were expecting to pay, regardless of the great price. For reference, it sold for $30,000 MORE the last time it was on the market TEN YEARS AGO. And this house is in a fantastic location.
So why am I freaking out? I worry that we're acting too fast, that we'll be in over our heads. We sent in the offer last night around 8, and we'll hear back from them tomorrow before 9pm. I need a sedative. Someone talk me down.