(Closed) We want prenup, we want prenup! (in the voice of Kanye West)

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: If your SO required a prenup, what would you do?
    Sign it : (4 votes)
    3 %
    make sure it included provisions to protect my interests as well : (44 votes)
    33 %
    refuse to sign it : (7 votes)
    5 %
    Him requiring such a thing is insulting and would be a deal breaker. : (17 votes)
    13 %
    I require a prenup, so I'd negotiate the terms and sign it. : (13 votes)
    10 %
    We've agreed on a prenup already. : (7 votes)
    5 %
    Prenup not necessary : (41 votes)
    30 %
    Other, see below : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    631 posts
    Busy bee

    Also I would just note for everyone that the law regarding marital/community/individual property differs from state to state.

    Post # 4
    Member
    990 posts
    Busy bee

    I hate the idea, honestly.

    Anyone I’m marrying better trust me fully and not think that there would ever be a need for a prenup.

    ‘Nuff said.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    FI and I don’t have any assets to have a prenup over, but if we did, I would definitely consider one.  Yes I love FI and want to be with him forever, etc. etc. etc. but things happen and you have to protect yourself.

    Post # 7
    Member
    11327 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I think we will probably do a prenup for several reasons. First, generally, I think it is a good idea to sit down and decide what is fair when you are speaking to someone you still love. Divorce is so emotional it seems people lose their heads and often act irrational. 

    Also, for us specifically, because I am an independent contractor with my business, I have some liability issues that my FI does not have. We are going to look into how a prenup may help protect our joint assets from my personal liability. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee

    Mr. Cosmo and I are not doing a prenup.  We have discussed it, considered the options, and in the end decided that it was not something that we wanted to do.

    Caveat:  While the above-posted information regarding pre- and post-marital (or community) property may be applicable for the state of California, I do want to emphasize that every state has different laws governing marriages (both actual and common law)/divorces/community property, etc.   🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    4385 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i think getting a prenup is mature and smart, in certain situations. for us it just isn’t necessary, neither of us has anything to protect!! if we did we would have probably discussed it.

    i don’t think it necessarily has anything to do with trust. you never know what might happen in a relationship and how messy things could get, regardless of how much love was there in the beginning!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2205 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    We never considered it because divorce isn’t an option to us.

    Post # 12
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee

    Like Hotchildinthecity, we don’t have any assets either LOL!  I considered a prenup because he is going back to school and I don’t want anything to do with the student loans he is about to take out.  But I am pretty sure this would have freaked him out to the point of possibly calling off the wedding so I decided not to pursue it.  He already feels that I am not “fully committed” since I am keeping my name, imagine if I was keeping my money too!

    Post # 13
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I would have no issues signing one and my SO would have no issues signing one either.

    I find them completely necessarily in some cases…what if one person is worth millions of dollars and the other, maybe 40K? I’d get a prenup JUST in case…just in case. If I was worth pennies and my husband was a millionaire, I’d sign it because I’d be in the mindset that if we got divorced, I don’t want to “win” with his money. I don’t need his money. If i was the millionaire, I’d feel foolish for not having one and then my ex-husband benefiting from us splitting up by him taking half my money. And family businesses—some things need to be completely separate from your marriage. The divorce rate IS high…i just don’t want to look back someday and go “hindsight is 20/20…boy i made a BIG mistake” ya know? You never know. I’m not immune enough to think i’m invincible.

    What we earn separately stays separate unless someone decides to combine. But what you earn jointly is split jointly.

    I feel with my heart and I think with my ever-so-logical head. My SO doesn’t care–his attitude is, “cool, we’ll never need it and if it’ll make you/your parents feel better, I’m fine with it”. Not even offended.

    The only people i’ve ever met in real life who would be offended are the ones who are worth less than their SO’s. I think they’re worried they’ll be taken advantage of? I’m not sure. I know my mom was initially offended when she married my dad (dad was rich, mom was dirt poor) and now that she’s come so far with my dad, she understands why he presented one to her.

    Plus prenups can be so much more than money.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    10218 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    um YEAH. We both have private businesses.  M has an LLC and I am a sole proprietor and next year will become an LLC.  I definitely say YES to prenups because I don’t feel that I am entitled to any of his assets and I don’t feel that he is entitled to any of mine, thus far especially business-wise.  My business is just beginning and is thriving generally, his is doing well as well.  However we are both broke so it would only apply to our businesses.  I wouldn’t mind a prenup where after a number of years we are entitled to x percent of the earnings.  Now I also wouldn’t mind a prenup where if we made a certain amount of money during our years together the spouse would be entitled to that.  Even if he never sets foot in my business or helps with anything, every day there is still taking away from our time together and things I feel that I should do as a wife or vice versa, for that I think each should be entitled to a certain percentage, I suppose it’s something like earning ability or something like that.  But I think it’s in the best interest of us both and I know he is quite surprised that I believe in prenups etc, but coming from a divorced home and being in several broken engagements, this stuff hits close to home.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2090 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We won’t have one because neither of our financial positions requires one – but if our situations were different, I definitely would consider one (signing one, or asking FH to sign one).

    I don’t think looking into or being asked to sign a prenup has anything to do with how much you love or trust someone. I know a lot of people who say if you trust your partner, you won’t ask them to sign a prenup…but (devil’s advocate) if YOU trust your partner completely, why wouldn’t you sign one?

    If you never get divorced, then it’s nothing more than another piece of paper in the safe (or wherever you keep important papers). I dunno, it wouldn’t be a big deal to me at all to be asked to sign a prenup.

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