We were C listed…

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would your response be to a last minute half assed invite?
    I'd go for a bit, just to say hi. An invite is an invite, right? : (19 votes)
    29 %
    I would stay away--they obviously don't want us there--but I wouldn't be offended. : (29 votes)
    44 %
    I'd be offended, and I would not go. : (10 votes)
    15 %
    Other (please explain) : (8 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    MrsHalpert:  I don’t see what is offensive about that.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2264 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    “I’m sorry but FI and I already have plans tomorrow night! I do hope you will bring in some photos to share, though!”

    In my mind, though, I would probably be thinking, “What the actual F?”

    Post # 4
    Member
    5222 posts
    Bee Keeper

    MrsHalpert:  Honestly, I work in a very relaxed environment with a lot of people around my age who don’t have a clue about etiquette… so I would just think they were being nice and wanting to party at the reception. Plus, especially with two guys just chatting it up in the breakroom– I wouldn’t call that being “C List”, I think he just came out and said it with no guest list in mind!

    Post # 5
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I wouldn’t take offense.  Sounds like your fiancé knows the groom.  I don’t think men pay anywhere near the amount of attention to etiquette as ladies do.  

    It sounded like a genuine “bro” type of response to “hey man are you excited?” – “yeah man I am excited, it’s going to be a fun party, you should stop by for a drink!”

    Definitely wouldn’t give it another thought!

    Post # 6
    Member
    42546 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    MrsHalpert:  You never know the other person’s motivation. Rather than taking “Hey man, are you excited? Congrats! “as simple good wishes. the groom may have thought Mr. H was fishing for an invitation, so extended him what hospitality he could- an offer to stop by for a drink. Maybe, like many a Bee, he didn’t have the social skills just to say “Thanks, I’m looking forward to it.”

    Post # 6
    Member
    1110 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    It sounds like they’re just trying to be friendly. If their wedding is a non-formal, laid back event it might just be like inviting someone last minute to a small barbecue. Personally, I wouldn’t go. But that has less to do with being offended and more to do with probably already having my weekend planned out by that time.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1043 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    This kida sorta happened to me before… my now fiance but, at the time boyfriend and his entire family were invited to wedding a recpetion… they were having a small budget wedding but, had lots of friends…. the bride told me how horrible she felt but, could not afford everyone she wanted to party with for the catering they were required to use so she invited to the reception after dinner… and I had a blast … I wasnt thrilled about the not good enough for me to pay for but come anyway invite but, I understood knowing what the venue food runs at that location and it is literally like 20 houses down from me on the same street and my boyfreind reallly wanted me to so I went and like Isaid I had alot of fun…

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    2920 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    This has actually happened to me more than once. The most recent time (and the time that made me the most mad) was when we weren’t invited to my friend’s sister’s wedding.  Our families have always been really close and ENTIRE family was invited to my sister wedding. They all came. When her wedding rolled around not one of us got an invite, not even me who is close to not only her but her 2 sisters around the same age.

     To make matters worse she had an email thread with the rest of my friends that she “forgot” to take me off of who WERE invited. She kept talking about how fun her sister’s wedding was going to be. Then, the week of she said  through email that I could stop by after the dinner part of course because they were going to have some extra room.  I could drink and dance with them.  Um…eff you, no thanks! 

    They weren’t invited to my wedding.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2092 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

     

    MrsHalpert:  I think that is something guys do pretty often without putting much thought into it. Hey man, stop by and have a drink if you can! I’m sure the bride was not in on it and I’m not sure why you are offended. Doubt the groom even mentions it to the bride because that’s the way guys are. Seriously he just asked off the cuff without thinking and certainly without consulting some master alphabet list.

    Post # 11
    Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee

    Truth be told it doesn’t sound offensive or C list to me. It seems like he just wants you guys to stop by if you can, no pressure.

    Post # 13
    Member
    559 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I wouldn’t be offended, but I probably wouldn’t make an appearance.  It’s not that it was half-assed; sounds like he was just being friendly since your husband asked how things were going.  But I would probably feel awkward going.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1613 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    MrsHalpert:  Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t call that “C listed” or be offended.  It seems like a genuine but casual “join the party” mentality of a jovial groom.  I wouldn’t find any offense in it.  Whether or not I’d attend would depend on how close I was to the person and what else I had planned for my weekend.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    1209 posts
    Bumble bee

    crackktheskyy:  same… it’s like it’s a Birthday party or bbq: swing on by we’ll have a beer you know?

    I wouldn’t go and wouldn’t be offended…  plus boys are weird and the coworker probably didn’t think anythign of it, although i’m sure if his fiance was standing by she’d be the one saying what in the actual fuck??

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