"We were happy till we tried to live happily ever after"…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m really sorry his parents are treating you like that.  If I was in that situation, I wouldn’t even bother with the wedding, seems like its going to be more trouble than it’s worth.  I don’t see anything wrong with just flying to Vegas and having a special ceremony with just the two of you.  Besides, if his family ever decides to grow up, you can always have a wedding down the road for a vow renewal.  

Post # 4
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I don’t understand why you don’t just elope.

You know his parents are a-holes, so why would you expect they would suddenly change when you decided to make it legal?

Post # 5
3813 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Elopement sounds like a great idea if the wedding planning and his family are causing you this much stress.  Sorry you have to deal with these crazy future in-laws, I hope you and your FI come up with a solution that works for both of you!

Post # 6
3197 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@dollface313:  Our situations are similar.  I’m black and my DH is white (Russian to be exact).  My family was opposed to our union too although it had very little to do with racial differences. However is family avoided talking about the wedding or making any attempt to get to know me.  We ended up cancelling our wedding and eloping.  Once we told everyone they were in shock but seem to have come around to it now.  The bitching stopped because at the end of the day, what the hell are they going to do about it anyway?




Post # 7
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow, I’m so sorry you’re going through that!  It sounds like a horrible situation, and I wish his family would realize how much they are hurting you, him, and your relationship.

I echo PPs….maybe just elope!  Although it sounds like you have a pretty cool wedding planned.  But at the end of the day, if you can actually enjoy your wedding day and not stress about what might happen, but truly experience saying ‘I do,’ that could be worth it!


Post # 8
715 posts
Busy bee

Sorry you’re going through this. 

Elopement sounds like it would save you a lot of hazzle & craziness. 

Post # 9
4509 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Such a shame that they can’t just see you as the woman their son loves ugh! I say be happy with him and elope.  All you need is each other.


Post # 11
1494 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I say just elope and if your want have a small reception with your friends and close family later on.

Post # 12
8 posts
  • Wedding: May 2015

Elope! I think having a wedding will just be a platform for more drama and nonsense from his family. 

Post # 13
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Aw that’s horrible. Sorry you have to deal with that racist garbage.

I’m also one half of an interracial and international couple (I’m Chinse-Canadian and Dh is a New Zealander of Irish descent…and we live in NYC just to make it more interesting.)  But I am so lucky that both sets of family and friends are supportive.

Elope.  We essentially did that for immigration purposes.  But now we’re having a party so our friends and family can meet (and one of our friends is ‘marrying’ us.)  Here’s the thing.  Since we’re already married, we can just concentrate on planning the party.  While I’m not calling it a wedding, it’s a celebration of our marriage and everyone is right into it.

So, get married/elope and your in-law’s can suck it (ok, don’t tell your FI that part.)  Then have your awesome AIW-themed reception/marriage celebration/one hell of a party and ENJOY!  They can sit at home and pout or they can put on their big boy pants and realise that they have a daughter-in-law and be welcoming.

Good luck!

Post # 14
2264 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@dollface313:  I’m so so sorry you and your FI are going through this. Though both DH and I are Vietnamese, I’ve see the situation you describe every time someone in one of our families dates outside our race and culture. I think it’s very sad that some people can’t accept others due to something so arbitraty as skin color. OP, if I were you, I’d elope. It’s so hard to just find that one special person to love. Don’t let anyone or anything get in between what you two have and the commitment you both are making to each other. Good luck!  

Post # 16
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am SO sorry you’re going through this. If it makes you feel any better, I’m in a similar situation. My parents don’t really like my FI. Part of it has to do with them thinking he’s not good enough for me. And even though we’re both white, he’s not Jewish. I hate that race, religion or anything really comes into play with parents and their children’s happiness! Part of me wonders how you could stay with him, knowing that his parents feel that way, but I am so glad my FI stays by me even though my parents are kind of assholes to them (mostly behind his back). Sometimes, we toy with the idea of eloping, too. It would just be so easy. But, I have this feeling that I would look back and really regret not celebrating with the people who ARE supportive of this relationship and DO love us. Would you feel the same way?

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