Post # 1
Ok I am not trying to sound like a snob or like I am bragging. My boyfriend and I have started shopping for rings. We have been together for five years. We own a business together that has been incredibly successful since we began it 3.5 years ago. We have 0 debt and we recently purchased our first house and essentially paid cash. Now I LOVE big jewelry. I would consider myself lucky to marry him the man of my dreams and live in a box as long as we were together. The size of the ring is not going to change how much I care for him or want to marry him. That being said I really like big rocks. My friends and family though are sort of struggling in this economy. We do what we can to help out without seeming like hand outs or condescending douche bags. Employing them if they are between jobs, chipping in on trips, or picking up the dinner tab stuff like that. I don’t want the size of my ring to seem like a slap in the face or like I am trying to show off. My family has always been lower middle class and he comes from a rather well off family. Most of my friends have either very modest rings, or they are ones they inherited. I worry how it may come off if I get the size/ type of ring I want. My boyfriend loves cars, one website said to compare the ring to what he has spent on his car. The most recent car he bought was $65K but that seems an excessive amount for a ring. And I LOVE big jewelry. (I have very long fingers big knuckles and thin or small rings make my hands seem even more giant). We have comfortably set aside $35K just for the ring budget for the engagement ring, and both our wedding bands. I am looking at some Victorian style ascher cut halos at about 2 carats and they come in at a total of about $20k which is well under what we’d budgeted. He wants a $500 ring he likes and one around $75 for when he is doing guy stuff and doesn’t want to worry about ruining or losing his real ring. If I got the halo style I wouldn’t get a band so we’d be under budget. Another ring I liked was a really awesome Art Deco style with black diamonds and no center stone yet but even if we maxed out the size and quality that this setting would accommodate we’d be are around $25K so still under what we saved. With $35 be a comfortable maximum for us to spend. I have one diamond necklace that was We really don’t spend much money on other things but both want a big fun wedding for everyone to really enjoy. I worry that it makes me look like a bad person to buy a big diamond in this economy. But then I think also that it will be the one and only ring I wear for the rest of my life, we can afford it, we are making great money, and everything we own is paid off. Where do you weigh in? I also wonder about maybe going smaller but getting as nice of a diamond as possible? I see tons of articles talking about how you don’t NEED to spend a ton on a ring, and not to put yourself into debt over it, or break your savings, and I get that. But we have our wedding budget already saved and we worked hard to build our business, shouldn’t we enjoy it? I just feel so materialistic wanting something that my friends or family couldn’t afford, I don’t know why it makes me feel so guilty. I don’t want to sound like I am complaining I know we are very blessed and this is not a real problem but I just wonder if this is overkill or, in poor taste? Or if we can afford it we should go for it? What would you do? Maybe just go really big and hope everyone thinks it is fake? lol We are looking at stones between 2-3 Carats in the center and 1.5-2.5 in accent stones.
Also… Do you think the Halo “vintage” style is going to end up looking dated in 10 years? I had always LOVED the Tiffany Legacy with the side stones. The other ring I look almost looks like a cocktail ring so I worry it won’t come across as an e-ring? But it is so unique looking I would find it hard to label it as any particular style or time period. I like to be a little different and while I think the Halos are GORGEOUS almost every new bride I know has a halo style ring.
Thank you for your imput I didn’t know where else to ask this stuff and I hope I didn’t come off like a jerk.
Post # 3
I think you should get whatever ring you really want as long as you aren’t going into debt for it or using money you need for something else. Sounds like that isnt the case, so go with what you love. Someone will always judge no matter if your ring is giant or smaller, diamonds or another stone, the “right” style or not etc. So as long as you love it, get it.
Post # 4
I agree with the poster above! do whatever you want. Whomever really cares will be happy for you.
Post # 5
You’ve earnt that money fair and square – if everything’s paid off and you want to spend it on a ring then go for it!
Post # 6
I would say to get whatever you really want as long as you can afford it. You might want to consider your social circle, work, family, etc if you think it will really stick out but at the end of the day you should get what you love. Also consider practicality and if you will be able to/want to wear such a large ring daily. If you do get an asscher, you can go quite a bit larger than other cuts because they face up small.
Post # 7
I think you’re overthinking this, to be honest!
I will say one thing though… do you regularly wear large rings? Because I have a comparatively modest e-ring, but I also have a huge beast of a sapphire RHR. I find that, if I wear the sapphire ring continuously for a week or more, it gives me hard patches of skin on my hand, and that it rubs my fingers. It catches on things as well.
I would be careful…. wearing a statement necklace or bracelet is not like wearing a large ring, because of how you use your hands. If you want to wear your ring every day, I think you need to practise by wearing a cheap ring of equivalent size to the one you want for a while. You may find that you need a smaller ring in the long term.
Post # 8
I always use Beyonce as a reference when discussing “big” center stones, because she has an 18 ct flawless emerald cut (I believe its emerald cut…) and yet it doesn’t over power her finger or seem “too” flashy- which is what most ppl are worried about. Also, its all in the attitude/personality of the wearer. Humility is such a great quality in general, and it has nothing to do with the size of your diamond. Some ppl will flash a $4,000 ring every chance they get, because it may be what defines them. Going bk to Beyonce (sorry)…I was watching an interview with her and she accidentally left her engagement ring on. She had been married for a while at this point, so everyone knew, and it definitely wasn’t a secret. The interviewer was gawking at her ring, and Beyonce was embarrassed because she said she normally removes it during most interviews… That just spoke volumes when I heard it.
So, in other words, wearing the ring (no matter the size of the stone or its price tag) and not letting the ring wear you is probably what matters the most. Happy ring shopping…we can’t wait to see what you picked out! 🙂
Post # 9
I find halos trend, personally. I do think they’re quite lovely, but feel that in a decade, I’ll think “that is SO 2010s”. But, I think most rings do show their “date” unless it’s a very simple design, so that’s something you have to consider as well (I myself am not a solitaire kind of gal).
I wouldn’t feel guilty about chosing a large ring. We also are much more well off than our families and I get that there is a certain amount of guilt that comes along with it, but I also feel like you can’t live your life around what other people may think or be hurt or offended by.
Post # 10
@Rachel631: I agree…there are certain “big” rings that I can’t wear everyday, because it gets in the way and becomes a hassle to deal with if I kept it on 24/7…you’re right something to think about as well.
Post # 11
@stuckinwonderland: Its funny, because I remember saying to myself that I would never get a halo ring bc its just a trend that’ll fade away soon…until I looked at some old posts on different sites, and realized ppl were buying halos in 2005. So, now I’m like maybe its a long trend or its here to stay? I also agree that solitaires are called “classic” for a reason, bc they are timeless. Anyway my opinion of halos have def changed! 🙂
Post # 12
My ring is around 30k..and it looks very modest…it is a little over 2ct excellent quality diamond..and a very simple setting…it doesn’t look flashy at all…So, don’t worry about it looking “too much”…
And…do whatever you want..who cares what other ppl think..
Post # 13
In terms of “wealthy” it’s really completely relative. I work with some waitresses with 1.5 carat diamonds and some CEOs that wear a plain gold band. My parents are wealthy and my mom got a half-carat oval diamond for her engagement ring.
Get WHATEVER you want. I’m a halo girl all the way and will not change my mind just because they miight be considered “trendy”.
Post # 14
Get what you want. You guys worked hard for it and you deserve to not feel guilty about what you can afford.
Post # 15
If big rings are your style and you can afford it, I say go for it. Do what makes you happy and forget everyone that is going to judge.
Post # 16
There is NOTHING wrong with getting a large ring if you can afford it! Honestly, I would only side-eye someone if they bragged about having a $40K ring but then said they were in debt and nearly homeless or couldn’t afford to eat.
DH and I are not well off right now. We live paycheck to paycheck, I work two jobs while studying full time, and DH’s job pays fuck-all. Because of this, my e-ring was second hand (paid $500 for it, valued at $1650). Even if we had paid the original price of $1600 people would probably think we’re cheap, but it’s what we can afford and there’s no freakin’ way I’d want DH to put us in crippling debt just for some bling. However, if we were in a better financial position, I’d be out there shopping for a 2ct beauty just like many of the Bees on here!