What color are your linens?
more by mariahjane20
Invitation Wording Issues....FIL's feel left out
A Gift for Future Mother-In-Law
more in Etiquette
Thank yous for wedding gifts?
catchy title for shower
more in Boards
who to invite

Wearing black to a wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should you wear black as a guest to a wedding?
    Sure, why not? : (52 votes)
    71 %
    No, definately not : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Depends on the season : (4 votes)
    5 %
    Depends on the formality : (15 votes)
    21 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    mariahjane20    July 17, 2009   Nova Scotia, Canada

    So....today's wonderful post by Miss Glitter got me wondering.  In her post she speaks of the fact that typically mother's are not to wear black to the wedding of their son/daughter as it signifies a disappoval of the marriage.  I have heard this before and understand the concept.  However, in the post comments I saw that other girls have said that as a guest you are not to wear black to a wedding.  I have never heard this before and HAVE worn black to a wedding and have seen many others in a little black cocktail dress.  It never occured to me not to wear black to a fall or winter wedding before...have I overstepped the boundaries of good taste?  What are everyone's thoughts on this?

     
    2.
    Member Icon
    Member
    614 posts
    Busy bee
    emileee       San Jose, CA

    I probably wouldn't wear black to a daytime wedding just because brighter, lighter colors are my  personal preference for daytime weddings but for a night time wedding, I'm all for black!  I figure that as long as I'm not wearing white, I'm good.

    Attachments

    1. Wearing black to a wedding? :  wedding Img scarlet_high_end_custom_july_10_back_t.jpg (92.5 KB, 127 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Wearing black to a wedding? :  wedding Img scarlet_custom_high_end_july_10.jpg (122.1 KB, 82 downloads) 1 year old
     
    3.
    Member
    422 posts
    Helper bee
    SpaceC06    02/07/2009   Albuquerque

    I think the different between a mother and say guest, is (1) the mother is a focal point of the wedding party and (2) her dress is often more formal (so it would likely look more like she showed up for a funeral than her daughters wedding). 

    It is not uncommon to see female guest sporting the little black dress at a wedding, but lets be honest as a guest you aren't the center of attention and it is likely that your dress is a bit less formal than the MOTB. As always the case you can dress up your little black dress in a million ways, so that always helps!

     
    4.
    Member
    85 posts
    Worker bee
    lunapark    8/23/08   New York, NY

    It is an old tradition that people shouldn't wear black to a wedding. However, people have been breaking this tradition for years already so it's become pretty accepted.

     
    5.
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    Ms.Editor    April 25, 2009   Chicago

    I had heard that you shouldn't wear black to a wedding, so I bought a purple dress for my friend's evening wedding in January (of course, after see about 50 beautiful LBDs in stores). Out of my group of friends, I was the only person not to wear black!

     
    6.
    Hostess
    2,188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Erindesmar    October 17, 2009   Boston, MA

    I've work black to a wedding before.  I think its fine so long as you aren't MOB or MOG.

     
    7.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1,428 posts
    Bumble bee
    ErinMarguerite    July 2009   DC Area

    I think it's fine even if you are the MOB/MOG.  If you're smiling, no one will think you're wearing black because you hate your child's new spouse. 

     
    8.
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee
    mrsleopard    November 22, 2008   Los Angeles

    I'm wearing black to my SIL's wedding in 2 weeks.

    My MIL wore black to my wedding.  I didn't think anything of it.

     
    9.
    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    I always heard you aren't *supposed* to wear black, but it's SOOOO common now. I did read something about how the mothers shoudn't wear black, but the mother of the groom should specifically wear a taupe or beigs so she doesn't take the spotlight away from the bride and her family, which i thought was really dumb. Who's going to wear taupe to their son's wedding when there are so many other pretty colors?! LoL. My mom chose red...I just like color =]

     
    10.
    Hostess
    5,480 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Jessie516    May 16, 2009   Ann Arbor, MI

    I've worn black to weddings before and my BM are wearing black, too.  Personally, it wouldn't bother if my mom (or his) wanted to wear black, as I had never really heard of the tradition not to wear it because you disapproved of the wedding.  I would probably never think twice about seeing a MOG/MOB in black.

     
    11.
    Member
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    brandonsbride    7/11/2009   Hume Lake, ca

    I have personally worn black to a wedding but it was a very formal black tie affair and EVERONE wore black except the bride practically! And it was in the evening.

    Also... my wedding is in the afternoon in the middle of July and is a rather informal event so black would not be appropriate for my wedding. (except maybe men in suits) the groomsmen are wearing chocolate brown suits. But my MIL was teasing that she would wear black to pretend that she was mourning her son getting married since he's an only child! I thought this was hilarious but you must understand that we have a great relationship and I'm not worried about it at all...

    And I would much rather she wear black then white =D (A friend of mine's MIL showed up in white dress that looked like a wedding dress.... then was asked to purchase another dress before the wedding!!!) to funny....

     
    12.
    Member
    2,168 posts
    Buzzing bee
    cannotwait    February 1, 2009   TX

    formal night time weddings black is OK, but I think it is best for moms to avoid it in general unless the couple is OK w/ it

    Attachments

    1. Wearing black to a wedding? :  wedding Img Front_of_Dress.jpg (63.8 KB, 47 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Wearing black to a wedding? :  wedding Img Front_of_Dress_-_Close_up.jpg (70.6 KB, 36 downloads) 1 year old
     
    13.
    Member Icon
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    winterwed    December 19, 2009   St Paul, MN

    I absolutely think black is ok for weddings - both for guests and for MOB/MOG. I am getting married in December in the evening and my mom is wearing floor-length black. And I love it! First of all, she ALWAYS wears black (as do I) in real life so why wouldn't she wear black on the happiest day of the year! haha... As was mentioned earlier, if the mother looks unhappy or has vocally made her opinion of the union known, that is a different situation. Black as a wedding guest is also always appropriate...JUST DON'T WEAR WHITE :)

    Attachments

    1. Wearing black to a wedding? :  wedding Img FUCHSIA-Organza.jpg (5.6 KB, 49 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Wearing black to a wedding? :  wedding Img applegreen_1_MED.jpg (7.5 KB, 50 downloads) 1 year old
     
    14.
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    Ms. Peachy    3/21/09  

    I am totally for wearing black at a wedding, as there are now so many cute black dresses that are out there. My bridesmaids and several of the guests wore black and looked amazing. If you are concerned as a guest, you can always dress it up with some color accessories like a shawl or a sweater and jewelry. Just as others have said, white's the only thing that really should be avoided.

     
    15.
    Member
    67 posts
    Worker bee
    ellebeaux    10-10-09   Richmond, VA

    The older generation especially tends to view black at a wedding as inappropriate.  Obviously many people don't have an issue with it, but I think if you are worried about it at all, why not wear something else?  Black is a little overused for formal/dressy occasions anyway.

     
    16.
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    quirkyparsnip    October 1, 2011   Texas

    I wore black to the last wedding I went to in March... I was not the only one. Besides guys usually wear black suits and the grey pants/black shirt option is becoming very popular with them these days as well. 

     
    17.
    Hostess
    1,052 posts
    Bumble bee
    BeachBrideT    5/09   Florida

    I definitely think its acceptable!!!! My bridesmaids are actually wearing black to my wedding,and I picked out the dress/color for them!!!!!! 

     
    18.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee
    Missamy    7/11/09  

    Black is the color of my wedding!  My mother, step mother and FMIL will all be wearing black. The only one that really had a problem with it was my FMIL but my mom and step mom were delighted to wear black.  I think the pictures look awesome and are timeless when everyone is wearing black and white.  Gone are the days where it's "wrong" to wear black to a wedding.  Who makes these rules anyway?  The negative comments I got from FMIL about her black dress were definitely b/c she has heard and follows these rules but it's 2009 for crying out loud.  If you want your bridal party to wear black-go for it! 

     
    19.
    448 posts
    Helper bee
    mlkeysock    September 1, 2007   near Philadelphia, PA

    I actually just recently went to a Black and White wedding, and both mothers wore black to go with the theme. Both were very excited for their children, so I think as long as you know that it's not an intentional dig at the B&G, then it's fine for anyone...

     
    20.
    Member
    109 posts
    Blushing bee
    Tstew    August 1, 2009  

    I went to a wedding in Brazil last year. In Brazil, you are not to wear black to a wedding. The bride informed all the American guest of all the traditions and etiquette for attending a wedding. In the US, I think it is fine to wear black. Every woman has a little black dress and you will always have shoes that go with the dress...

     
    21.
    Hostess
    7,921 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    Lillindy    September 2008   Bay Area, CA

    I think our culture has changed and it's more than fine to wear black to a wedding, especially as a guest.  Shoot, my new aunt just e-mailed me photos from her wedding we attended and I'm in her photos wearing black.  In fact, I noticed that about 70% of us girls are!

    Attachments

    1. Wearing black to a wedding? :  wedding Img Jessica_and_Eddie_Barker_070.JPG (517.5 KB, 43 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Wearing black to a wedding? :  wedding Img Jessica_and_Eddie_Barker_027.JPG (549.6 KB, 28 downloads) 1 year old
     
    22.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1,020 posts
    Bumble bee
    ES123    April 25, 2009   Laurel, MD

    In the past I would have said no, but have you been dress shopping lately? Soooooo much is black. I just think you have to be careful that it's not too black - I was at a wedding recently where my uncle's girlfriend wore a black dress with black tights and black boots. It was too much black. But a nice black dress with colorful jewelry wouldn't be too funereal.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    MissBoPeep 94
    ndreighton 62
    hisgoosiegirl 56
    beargoose 55
    Mrs.KMM 46
    akp0702 42
    BetterSherm 42
    Beckster329 37
    KCKnd2 37
    stardustintheeyes 36

    Etiquette

    User Posts Today
    violet25 18
    stardustintheeyes 12
    BetterSherm 11
    mainejen 8
    rebwana 7
    mags2233 6
    MsPoodles 6
    strawbs 6
    les105 5
    Beckster329 5
    More