Weddingbee boards

I think it's fine -- black is dressy! Don't wear a black hat with a black veil on it, for goodness' sake, or wear a black dress that is mostly seen at funerals or the Addam's family (anyone?). I've worn black dresses (knee-length) to weddings, but always carry an accent purse or shoes, or wear colorful accessories to indicate this is a happy outfit. =)

Well, very formal, very old school etiquette would support what the poster said. However, social norms change all the time, and as a blogger part of your 'thing' is to be up on that! These days, in my area at least, the little black dress is the absolute staple of weddings, kind of the super safe choice if you want to be conservative.

Some of these weddings have been extremely posh as well, so I doubt it's a matter of being "declasse" as she said. And really, who the heck says that?! Sounds like she just wanted an opportunity to come off as super ritzy. 

Even if you think it's appropriate to wear black, consider that the bride and probably about half of the older guests will see it as a negative. People will talk, and even if you think they're just being petty and should get over themselves, is it really fair to have people talking about what you're wearing and not the bride? 

And are you SURE the bride won't mind?  If you call and ask, of course she's going to say it doesn't matter even if it does matter to her.  That's why there is etiquette for things like this:  no white, no black, and no red.  The above recommendation is all black with a red purse.  That's two big no no's in one. 

@CoffeeHound - I don't want this to come across as me challenging what you said, because I'm not, I'm just genuinely curious - have you ever been to a wedding where this has happened? I'm just really surprised, because yes, I've been to weddings where people gossiped about the girl wearing all white, but usually half of the guests are wearing black and I've never ever heard anyone mention it.

@Circus Peanut: Yes, I have seen it at weddings.  I've attended probably 20 weddings in the last 5 years and only three times has a guest worn a primarily black or red dress (never a white one). Every single time, I heard it being mentioned.  In fact, someone even used it as an icebreaker.  I thought it was a little tacky to gossip, but that doesn't mean it didn't take away from the bride and groom.   But, again, it could be a cultural issue.  Most of the weddings I attend are in the South. 

@cardigan: You could make that argument with anything.  "Who cares if your guests wear white, it's just a color."  "Who cares if your ex boyfriend tells the story about the last time you were intimate at your wedding, it's just a story."  "Who cares if your mother in law does not show up, it's just a guest." etc.  In fact, you could even say "Who care what the bride thinks, it's just a day." 

I'm wearing a black dress to a wedding. Pretty sure that's why everyone loves their "little black dress" because you can wear it everywhere.

CoffeeHound - Ha! That is something, snarking on other guests as an ice breaker. You said you are from the south, I've heard from friends who live there that parts of the south can definitely be more old-school and traditional, so that makes sense. I remember a friend telling me about how, in college, girls would wear dresses, heels, pearls, etc. to the football games, which I absolutely couldn't fathom!

@vaness13181: Black is a color for mourning.  Wearing black to a wedding is a symbol that you do not approve of the marriage.  It's a step below not attending.  The exception is if you're specifically told it's a black and white wedding. 

Red is generally not worn because it is an attention-grabbing color.  No one should be trying to grab attention from the bride.