Wearing black to a wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

A very old rule. Both of my daughter’s MIL were/are wearing predominately black gowns. Black-tie weddings in the evening. No problem …

Post # 3
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s important to realize the purpose of the original rule: the real point was not to look *funerary*, or like you are in mourning, as it may be interpretted as a comment on the marriage. That particular concept still stands, but our treatment of black as a social color has changed dramatically.

Black would also likely be simply out of place at a daytime garden wedding in the South, for intance, but that’s more of a style issue. For the vast majority of weekend evening weddings, a black *party dress*, or a LBD would be perfectly appropriate, and does not violate the *spirit* of the original rule.

(It’s just like the ‘don’t wear white’ purpose is ‘don’t look remotely bridal’, while ‘don’t wear red’ I like to think of as ‘don’t dress like Jessica Rabbit’.)

Post # 4
Member
557 posts
Busy bee

I never heard don’t wear red…as far as the mothers go, I have always heard that the color of their dress should compliment the bridesmaids/wedding colors. If black compliments the wedding theme, then why not? if the dresses are seafoam green, that might be weird 🙂

Post # 5
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

springbride23:  During both of my sisters weddings they told everyone not to wear black as they both thought it was bad luck. Now years later they think its weird that i chose black bridesmaid dresses (its what i wanted!) but it goes perfectly with our black tie winter wedding. 🙂 to each their own i guess..

Post # 6
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My mom found a beautiful black dress with lace on the top and I had no problem with it! In fact, I’m the one who picked it our for her to try. I don’t think it matters!

Post # 7
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

The key is just not to look as if you are in mourning, which could be taken as a negative comment about the marriage. So a smart, tailored dress which is in keeping with the style of the day is probably fine… a black dress with long gloves, a hat, and a black veil is probably not!

Post # 8
Member
6888 posts
Busy Beekeeper

As I mentioned in the white thread, traditional etiquette to this day still frowns on black, especially for a mother, but contemporary,  liberal sources such as Post have declared this to be passé.  Just as with white, there are still people who make the association, so for that reason, even though we wear black as a guest, my mother did not feel comfortable in it as a host. I would not have cared at all.

On the other hand there is no rule that the mothers must coordinate with anyone,including one another or the bridal party. 

Post # 9
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My mum wore black to my sisters wedding, it seems common now. Some of my European friends though say it is still considered wring in theit cultures though. 

Post # 10
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Sephiroth:  Yep, exactly. Ever since Coco Chanel popularized the little black dress in the 1920s, wearing black has been seen as a chic fashion choice rather than an indication of mourning. 

Especially given that so many weddings in the U.S. are evening parties, black is a completely appropriate choice for a guest. Or for bridesmaids!

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