Wearing both Qipao and Ao Dai to Reception

posted 2 years ago in East Asian
Post # 2
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Wow, that’s a lot of outfit changes! Could you maybe wear the Ao Dai the day before for the rehearsal dinner (if you’re having one)?

Post # 3
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2013

happyseashell:  Are you having a tea ceremony in addition to the wedding ceremony and reception? If you are, I suggest using that event asone of your outfit changes. My SIL is Vietnamese and we (my family and I) are Chinese. She wore her Ao Dai in the morning (before the wedding ceremony) when my brother brought over the roast pig and other stuff to her family’s house. She then changed into the wedding dress and in between the ceremony and reception, we had the tea ceremony so she wore a kwa/kua. She changed back into her dress for the beginning of the reception and then switched to a cheong sam/qipao. It’s a lot of changes but this was nothing compared to some of the other weddings I’ve been to (over 5 dress changes). In this case she “married into” a Chinese family so I’m not sure if your FIL want you to end the reception in a Vietnamese outfit. My cousin and his wife had a similar order for their outfit changes. 

Post # 5
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I agree with wearing an Ao dai for the tea ceremony.

I’m not Vietnamese (FI is Viet), but I decided that I’ll wear an ao dai during the two tea ceremonies in the morning at my house and my fiancé’s house then I’m changing into my wedding dress for the third ceremony at our venue later in the afternoon. 

Post # 6
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

happyseashell:  I’ve seen brides wearing Ao Dai for tea ceremony, bridal gown for wedding ceremony and grand entrance at reception then change into Qipao for the second half of the reception.

Did your FMIL specify when she’d like you to wear the Ao Dai? Vietnamese tends to wear it specifically for the tea ceremony.

Post # 8
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

happyseashell:  Would you consider wearing the traditional American dress for ceremony only, Qipao for reception grand entrance and first half of the reception, then change to Ao Dai for table visits? I am Vietnamese, and I suspect that with 2/3 of your guests being Vietnamese your FMIL would enjoy seeing you in an ao dai for the table visits.

Ultimately, make sure to do what feels right for you.

Post # 9
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

Ok I like to learn about other cultures and the interwebs are failing me. Could you please post examples of each of these and tell me the differences so I can learn :). Thank you.

Post # 10
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

dewingedpixie:  

A Chinese wedding qipao, as I understand, is a fitted dress that may look like a permutation of this (typically short sleeve or sleeveless):

A Vietnamese wedding ao dai consists of a long sleeved long tunic with high slits on either side, flowy pants worn underneath, and a matching wedding hat (although more modern brides seem to forego the hat):

All in all, the styles are quite similar, no? OP’s FMIL sounds very particular… plenty of Vietnamese women wear qipaos to events and they are all beautiful in their own ways. 

 

Post # 11
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

leftcoastleisure:  Thank you this was very helpful. They are similair but now I can see the differences :D.

Post # 12
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

happyseashell:  OK here is what I would do.

Wear the Qi Pao to the tea ceremonies.

Wear the western dress to the wedding.

Wear the Ao Dai to your reception.

My reasoning behind this is because family is important. Traditionally brides were given to the husbands family hence why we take their names. Wearing the Qi Pao to the tea ceremonies shows your chinese heritage going into the wedding. Wearing the western dress shows your western side and American upbringing for your marriage. Wearing the Ao Dai to the reception shows you have now joined his family and accept his traditions as your own as well. I think this would make a good peace with your FMIL and your own roots as well.

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