Post # 1
I am traveling to another state for a job interview next week – the company is paying my expenses to go interview so I think they are def interested. I work in a male dominated field and I really want the job.
I researched online if I should wear my engagement ring (1 carat, 3 stone) and a lot of people have commented that if their ring is big they don’t want to give the impression that they have a lot of money, or that sometimes a job may get the impression that you’ll be wanting time off soon for wedding then kids etc.
I’m in my late 30s, done having kids. I really really want this job.
Should I take the ring off?
Post # 3
@habibti: Personally, I would wear mine. If they’re flying you out it does sound like their interest is closer to hiring you than just being curious. Also, you said you’re in your late 30’s and done with children. While it’s a shame those things are factored into getting hired, I get it and it happens. Still, I’d wear the ring. I’ve read lots of blogs that say you shouldn’t, so I’m curious to see what others have to say. Good luck!! Hope you get it 🙂
Post # 4
No way! I would definitely wear my ring. Hopefully they’ll ask the “Where do you see yourself in 5 years” question, and you can honestly reply that since you’re already married and have already had kids, you’re looking forward to focusing on your career and furthering your skills!
Post # 5
@BrandNewBride: That’s a great way to phrase that in, that I’m focusing on my career. I think sometimes they get scared of the “kids” factor – that I would have to take time off for sick days etc. but my DH will be staying at home with the kids (5 and 14) so it’s not an issue.
Post # 6
I recently went on a job interview. I did not wear my e-ring, but I wore my wedding band. Being married signals you are stable. However, I get a ton of compliments on my e-ring and realize it can be a bit distracting. I work in a conservative field and wanted my head to toe styling to reflect that.
If I ever have to do it all over again I will opt not to wear my e-ring. Since you only have an e-ring it’s really up to what you feel comfortable with. Interviewers cannot ask you about your plans to have children or your age or your marital status. But, we all know one way to build rapport is to chat about one’s self and family. How much info do you want to give the interviewer- a left hand ring speaks volume?
Post # 7
I’ve heard enough reasons not to, and next time I interview I will be wearing my wedding band only. Yes, there are many ways that wearing an engagement ring could turn out completely innocuously, but I wouldn’t be willing to risk the possibility that it might attract negative judgement or assumptions. I wouldn’t lose anything by not wearing it on that one occasion.
Post # 8
@habibti: I always wear mine. It hasn’t caused any problems for me. I was wondering about this also, so per a family member who works in HR, I was told that it is considered discrimination to not hire someone because they are engaged/married and legal action can be taken if this is the case. They told me that most hiring managers really don’t care about your marital staus anyways. They have you there for an interview so they are interested in you and your skills.
Post # 9
@thefuturemrsD: did she day how easy or hard it is to prove someone was discriminated against be she of martial status?
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema
I guess it depends on the job. I recently got my first florist position and my e-ring was a talking point at the interview…what kind of flowers, style of bouquet I was having etc!
Post # 12
If you really want the job, I’d take it off.
Of my 3 most recent interviews, being engaged came up at all 3. One job I thought I had in the bag mentioned me being engaged and then went directly to a question about how much time I’d have available for the job. Of course I said I’d be willing to work as much as necessary but I can’t help but wonder whether being engaged played a bigger role in me not getting the job than I’d like to think. Two of the interviews were attorney positions where time is a big commitment.
I got the job at the third interview, but that was basically a position created for me and they knew ahead of time that I’m engaged.
Look at it this way, it can’t hurt to take it off and if you leave it could and you’ll never know whether it matterered or not.
As a PP asked, discrimination like this would be extremely hard to prove. If you had a quote of someone saying “we won’t hire you because you’re engaged” you could probably do it, but most HR peopel know better than that. Also, it’s one of those things that you’d have to decide if it was worth it or not. Even if you could prove discrimination, is that the type of place you’d actually want to work?
Post # 13
@habibti: I would wear my ring. First of all- there are plenty of women who wear ONE ring, or who have their rings welded together to look like one and you can’t tell unless you inspect it up close.
Secondly, if the job I am interviewing for is worried about me having to take any time off, I hope they’d ask me, not make assumptions based off of my jewelry.
I have to admit, I probably take an unconventional approach to these types of things: if I am going to be taking time off for my wedding, they’re either going to be OK with it, or not– so I don’t feel like I should have to hide anything. I also think that if a job (company/person/etc….) really wants you and values you for a job, they will want you- even if you are taking some time off for a wedding.
I also don’t want to work for a place that I can’t be honest with up front– (which is why I said I take an unconventional approach to these things)–
A perfect of example of what I am talking about: my friend works for a consulting firm. She’s NOT a consultant, but is a valued member of thier team. Before the end of the year, they voted in another partner. My friend, at the time- was 5 months pregnant. She took maternity leave 2 years ago for her first son, and she will be taking maternity leave again in March. She was still voted partner– and receives amazing benefits- including health, technology allowance, car allowance, etc…. which she will recieve all throughout her leave, as well. The fact that she is about to take 12 weeks off didn’t deter her company from making her partner. Now I know that she has been there a few years– and you are trying to get this job. I also have no idea what kind of job you are applying for– BUT– I still believe they shouldn’t be put off by the fact that someone might be getting married.
Post # 14
I actually think the saying “you need money to make money” could even apply here. So what if you have a little – you’ve earned it, and you’re worth it. They obviously think so since they are flying you there.
Also a ‘big’ ring depends on the state. Here in NYC at one of my clients’ offices I see 3, 4 carat diamonds all the time and no one bats an eye. (Sadly.)
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2014 - Sea Ranch Lodge
I wore my ring to my interview for my current job (a few months ago). It was an all day interview, and everyone that interviewed me was a man. Clearly my ring was noticed, as some of them commented on how nice it was.
I got the job. I got a good salary. I don’t think they evaluated me as a candidate based on my ring, and I beat out plenty of other men and women for the job.
If they did not give me the job because of a ring, I probably wouldn’t want to work there anyways.
Post # 16
Thanks for all your great advice and insight. I guess that NOT wearing the ring couldnt hurt anything after all. I don’t think that my DH would be the least bit offended by this.
Sometimes being a female trying to fit in with men (this is a management job at a large factory) can be difficult and you just dont need any extra thing going against you, you know?
I probably will not wear it, just in case.