Post # 1
This is more a vent than anything, but if you’ve got any advice or similar stories, feel free to share 🙂
I’m normally not a jewellery sort of person and, initially, for my wedding day, I was planning on just wearing my engagement ring (and a dress, of course!). But the other day, my FMIL presented me with the tiara she wore at her wedding and said it would mean a lot to her if I wore it on our wedding day. So, of course, I said “yes.”
I feel a little awkward about it, though. Not only am I not sure about hairstyles when wearing a tiara, I also feel like a little kid getting dressed up when I put it on (it doesn’t help that I have a babyish face, either).
So…I guess I feel that it really doesn’t suit me, but I also don’t want to not wear it, because I know FMIL would be upset. She was overjoyed when I said I would wear it, and I feel bad because so many other aspects of the wedding don’t fit with what my future in-laws would consider ‘appropriate’ for a wedding. I want them to have a part in something and this seems to be it, but it feel weird to think that I’m going to be getting married wearing something I think looks ridiculous on me (I’ll most likely be taking it off after the ceremony though!).
Post # 3
Maybe ask to NOT wear it during the ceremony and just put it on for some of the formal photos? Maybe do one formal photo posed EXACTLY like one of their favorite formal photos and give them the pictures side by side as a gift? I would NOT wear a tiara, something like that is so completely not like me and I want to feel lilke myself on our wedding day.
Post # 4
@LadyElva: my FMIL asked me to do the same thing. I am unsure if I will though. She said no hard feelings either way.
Post # 5
Ok…here’s the thing about tiaras, unless you are:
A. A Princess
B. Marrying a Prince
It’s really a leap to make those work at all.
I understand that when she presented it to you and you accepted, you did it to make her feel good, and included and loved, and those are beautiful reasons, but honestly, if you have doubts about it now, imagine how your going to feel looking in the mirror on your big day, hatin on that thing.
If you’ve got a flower girl, she’s prime real estate for a tiara, no shit, girls are cute in things like that, so if you don’t have one, GET ONE and tell your MIL she fell in love with it, that way it still gets to be in the wedding, but not on your head.
Otherwise, your going to have to come clean, and that could get tricky if your MIL is emotional….and all you can hang your hat on is the fact that you wanted to make her happy and nothing else.
Post # 6
@Nona99: But aren’t all brides princesses on their wedding day?!
That’s an awesome idea! I do have a flower girl, and she would look absolutely gorgeous in it! I might have to say something like she threw a tantrum as we were getting ready and insisted on wearing it, so that way she can wear it down the aisle and I will “steal” it off her for a few of the photos before relenting and letting her wear it (or putting it somewhere safe so neither of us get upset over sharing it).
Failing that, I think I’ll just wear it for part of the day – I don’t like having things on my head at the best of times (I haven’t worn a headband or anything since I was about six) so the veil and tiara will be coming off straight after the ceremony regardless of feelings.
Post # 7
What if you wear it around the house for a few days, to see if grows on you? For real.
The color purple used to be only for royalty. White fur used to be only for royalty. Certain foods used to be only for royalty. …. Lots of things used to be only for royalty, and then people wised up and said “wait a minute, how come they get all the fun?” Why should you only get to wear a tiara if you’re born into the right rich old family? I say anyone with the slightest inclination should wear a tiara on her wedding day.
But back to your issue — you mention that your in-laws already feel a little uncomfortable. If you can stand to wear the tiara for 30 minutes, your MIL will remember it fondly for 30 years. It will NOT look ridiculous, and you might come to like it.