- 3 years ago
- Wedding: December 2014
Ok, so I need a little bit of advice! Warning: this is sort of a loooooong story!!! But, i’ll try to shortening it up a bit.
Future hubby and I got engaged about 2.5 years ago. My mother-in-law knew he was going to ask soon, and had been chomping at the bit to start planning a wedding. She asked me if I wanted to go dress shopping several times, but I declined by saying that I wasn’t even engaged yet and that would be jumping the gun. So, very shortly after we got engaged, my MIL asked me again to go dress shopping, and agreed that we could simply look. Well, we all know how that goes! I saw a beautiful San Patrick gown at this boutique and fell in love! First dress I tried on at the first place I went to. It was big, full of tulle, had delicate lace. What’s not to love!! I had not planned anything at this point, so I knew zero details of my wedding day. My fiance and I had previously discussed maybe a plantation wedding or somewhere outdoors, but that was the extent of it. The dress was nothing that I thought I would want, but I loved it and could see myself walking down the aisle in that dress. It was a discontinuted sample gown and I would have to buy it off of the rack, which I didn’t mind, but I had to make a decision about it if I didn’t want to miss out on the gown. So, I called my mom who lives about 2 hours away and told her about the dress, and she agreed to drive up the next day to see it. My MIL and I left the store and stopped in to a few other stores on the way home, but I kept picking dresses that were very similar to the San Patrick gown but not as pretty. My mom drove up the next day. She absolutely loved the dress! She agreed that she didn’t think I would pick one like this but it is every bit of what she would have picked for me. I knew that our wedding would be a little ways out since I was in braces at the time and wanted to get those off before the big day, but she bought the dress for me, and everyone left excited.
A year and a half goes by with very little to no wedding planning at all. My braces were on for 3x longer than the orthodontist originally thought, and our wedding date had been pushed back several times. When I finally got them off, I was annoyed with the planning process, and so was my fiance. Our families, especially mine, were very pushy and opinionated about everything and wanted to run the show! We discussed the idea of eloping serveral times, but couldn’t settle on where. I hinted to my mom many times about the idea of us eloping to feel her out about it, but she was very quick in saying that she would be upset if we didn’t have a wedding and I didn’t wear the dress she bought! That was very frustrating to me,and I couldn’t make everyone happy, so I just forgot about the wedding for a while. From time to time, I would google wedding ideas, but that was really it.
One day, I was googling elopements or something similar, and I saw the most beautiful elopement photography session that I had ever seen! I had to know where this was! I looked into it further and found out that this couple was married at the San Francisco City Hall. From that moment on, I was sold! I called my fiance and told him that I had it all figured out, and I finally knew what we were going to do. I was actually excited about my wedding again! We planned to spend a few days in San Francisco, get married at the City Hall on the anniversary of the day we met :), and then head to Lake Tahoe to go snow skiing. Just him and I. Done! He loved it, I loved, now we had to get everyone else to love it.
Telling his family was easy. His parents just want us to be happy. While slightly disappointed that they won’t be there, they thought it was a great idea and were excited for us. Telling my parents was much harder. I chickened out quite a few times before I told my mom. She was devistated. I felt really bad at first because I am a people-pleaser and I don’t like disappointing anyone, but I had to remember why I wanted to do this in the first place. She came to terms with the idea, but her only request was that I wear the dress and take lots of pictures. Well, we hired a photographer to fly from home to photograph our wedding, so that was an easy one. The dress was a little more complicated. I didn’t want to drop too many bombs on her at one time, but I was thinking about wearing a different dress. I thought that maybe the San Patrick gown was a little too much for our new plans, and it had been so long since I bought the dress that I had other ideas now. Since I didn’t yet have another dress, I left that part out for now.
In the last few months, I have been going back and forth with the dress. Do I want to wear it? Do I want a new one? Should I go looking at other dresses? Is it in the budget to get another dress? I knew that I needed to decide soon because the wedding is coming up! I decided that I would look at other gowns and that would appease my wondering mind. My cousin and I went to about 7 different shops around town. There were a few dresses that I liked, but I still wasnt sure. One day after work, I stopped by this dress shop and saw exactly what I was looking for. What’s funny is that I didn’t even know what I was looking for before that day. I instantly knew it when I saw the dress. It was a plain mikado silk mermaid gown. As luck would have it, I was back in the same situation as before. It was a sample gown, discontinuted, didn’t want to miss out on this dress. I bought it and drove home. I was so excited!!
When I got home and I looked in my closet with two different wedding dresses hanging side by side, I suddently had a different feeling. Oh no! I love them both now! Now, which one am I going to wear?! They are so different, but both so beautiful in their own way!! I have been driving everyone crazy for the past few months about this dress situation, including my fiance! Last week, he looked at me and said, “If you can’t decide between two dresses, just wear them both! It’s our wedding day! Do whatever you want!!” This is why I love this man! He knows my heart!! I instantly felt free! All this stress and worrying went right out of the window! He was right! I should just wear them both. I don’t have to choose one or the other. My mom is not angry that I’m not wearing the one she bought. I have both looks that I like. Win Win!! The only issue is that I have to fly with both dresses and decide when to change into the other. I’m thinking that i’ll wear one for the actual ceremony and the other for photos after. Is this crazy?!? Am I overthinking this big time?!? What do y’all think?! Has anyone else had a similar dilemma??
P.S. WOW!! So much for shortening it up! To those who read all of this, you are a trooper and I’m looking forward to your comments!!
P.P.S. Here are photos of the two dresses for your viewing pleasure. The San Patrick tulle gown and the mikado silk mermaid, respectively.